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Even the CIA does it.
07-19-2017, 05:03 PM
Post: #31
calicifier,i know what you mean,im in a similar situation.but you(we) have to fight for it.we have to fight for whatever we want,power,wisdom,health,wealth.take every is not fair.idk if said god even cares. so why you should care? why you should be fair? why you should give a fuck? why you should "play by the rules?" if life didnt give you what you deserve,then do your best to get it and say a big FUCK YOU to not a really good example of this right now,but i truly believe i will turn my life around day by day.i have problems with health but i try to give less fucks and think more about what to do to make it better and get the life i want.sometimes we just feel as shit.thats normal.but dont let it get on only makes everything worse.give it some time and rest but then continue on doing whatever you were doing.btw i also undestand what you mean by being born into wrong layer of society.i cant imagine working a 9-5 job and calling someone already exhausts me.all these stupid people and meaningless shit you know? get rich or die going to get rich.because i said so and i will make it mundane and magical means.if you want to chat,you can pm me wishes.
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07-20-2017, 03:48 AM (This post was last modified: 07-20-2017 05:37 AM by Calicifer.)
Post: #32
It is not something which just happens as having a bad day. I had many voices within me, many personalities. I purified them, but this one, outside of it being external, I recently managed to suck it up. To make it internal, part of me. I do not have a choice. It happens every time I'm put to work. I curse every day that I have to work and while I have my own issues to deal with, like lack of discipline which often makes all my free time go to waste or that sometimes I have tendency to be downright lazy, I still have to know that I want and to seek for it. I have two major sides within me, one of light and one of darkness. They shift along depending on circumstances and life and it cannot really be changed. Even if I rest fully within my 4 days of rest (I work 12 hour shift), it is still quite pointless since I will get exhausted on emotional level within two next work days anyways and whole thing will happen again and again. Like with any work, like with any restrictions on my movement. It is simply completely incompactible within me on spiritual level and I can see that my diseases are becoming active and my scar on skin started to multiply again, exactly when I started working. I'm at this moment I'm literally getting scared visibly by my work...

There is really no escape. Either you become a sucker, a failure in life and observe as lesser men than you are receiving everything that you ever wished or you play the game. The only question remains, why you are so special? In my case, I'm willing to forsake my principles and morality. To go farther than any other human being would go. If one day I will be given a choice to raise in social layer, that is, having enough wealth to make a living purely out of it, I will take it. Doesn't matter if it takes to betray my friends, engage in shady deals or make world just generally a shittier place to live. I want to be free. I want to choose what I want to do in my life. Not to be forced down via endless cycle of debt and work. You are slaves. You use borrowed power, borrowed money. I will rather be master of nothing, but master to myself.

You can watch slaves in this show. It often represents perfectly well why humans are nothing more than that. You want your wealth now. You take loans, you make long term deals. I was shocked then I heard about 70 hours work weeks. I mean, I'm for slavery, I would implement it if people like me would rule any major nation, but really. Citizens are living worse than slaves nowadays. I would not treat my slave as average American must live their own lives (watch from the very start)...

And here we are. Do I want to sell myself out? To become a slave? To be owned by someone? I have all the power at my fingertips, I can borrow the money, start business, struggle and for that? For giving said money away in 20 years or so through life dedicated to loan shark?

No, if it comes to nothing, I'm planning to simply work in high wage country. My extreme flexibility will come as an asset in that and I shall return to Lithuania. Buy a lovely house in countryside which are dirty cheap due to emigration and depopulation. Due to massive differences in amount of money earned, wage in USA can buy there far less that in developing regions. So, I will simply transfer the wealth and retire early with nothing to my name, but myself and all the free time in the world. Becoming a king of nothing, but master to myself. You can enjoy your hellhole which you call life. My birth was the mistake and I'm not planning to play this little game more than I have to.

As for now, I will be just a little extra more grumpy and dark, but that is nothing that you aren't used to it. It is always like that then I'm at work, it puts immense pressure upon my health, both physical and emotional. I do not need demon tormenting, breaking me. I just need him to find me a job, promote me and I will break myself, lol.
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07-20-2017, 06:07 AM
Post: #33
70 hour work weeks? fuck that.ill never do it if i would not be working for myself,and even then the work i would be doing has to be something i can enjoy and care seems you hate your job and that it physically exhausts you.maybe you could do something else? moving to a cheap area with(even without) some money sounds could even make all the money you need for living in a cheap country online.that is probably possible.and get yourself checked medically if possible just in case.the system sucks,but there is escape,and you dont necessarily have to sell yourself.i know its easy for me to talk and i cant fully understand your condition but just wanted to say good life is possible and you can make it.laziness is not essentially bad,priotize what you really need,play mind tricks on yourself,make yourself believe and make yourself do it.its not easy but it can be done
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07-20-2017, 06:23 AM (This post was last modified: 07-20-2017 06:24 AM by Calicifer.)
Post: #34
It is just temporary work for two months. It is quarter done already and I'm reading books, taking naps during it already and I'm using an opportunity to exercise for weight loss program. I'm leaving afterwards for holidays to Croatia for half an year. It is erasmus, but we all know that it is student sex exchange program. I handpicked every subject from bachelors to master level and I will study everything according to my whims, but I'm more interested in forsaking studies for weeks for trips across country itself. I have to try to fail erasmus studies, so I'm not too concerned about modules, but more about myself. I have to enjoy my last years of freedom. After that, it is end of the road.

[Image: 170315-noose-feature.jpg?quality=90&...amp;w=1200]
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07-20-2017, 04:56 PM (This post was last modified: 07-20-2017 05:56 PM by almightysemiwizard.)
Post: #35
what you mean by its end of the road? that rope doesnt look good,hope you are not being literal.
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07-21-2017, 01:04 AM
Post: #36
Can we keep this thread on topic?
Head to the lounge for blog posts please.

Last weekend I got my hands on the first part of the gate way experience and have been using the meditation techniques every night and they have worked very well.
Its still pretty basic stuff so far but the guided meditations definitely help me get where I want to go quickly.
Let alone having 37 minutes seem to fly by and feeling refreshed is wonderful In of its self.
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07-21-2017, 06:05 AM
Post: #37
(07-17-2017 12:42 AM)Sammy Wrote:  Magickinqu [55] its been going On since the Roswell crash

Roswell has been at the heart of the UFO scene since in July 1947 the military sensationally announced in a press release it had found the remains of a crashed flying saucer in the desert nearby.

But the following day it retracted the statement, saying it was in fact a damaged US Air Force air balloon.

Witnesses later came forward to say there had been alien bodies within the "crashed craft", which along with the wreckage were then taken to a mysterious top-secret military base.

no shit, I have been studying Roswell for 30 years, It was Def a crashed ship and as you said they admitted to it at first.

To KNOW, To DARE, To WILL, TO KEEP SILENCE-such are the four words of the Magus! Eliphas Levi.
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07-21-2017, 09:20 AM
Post: #38
Yes, they admitted it..then retracted their statement.. the Truth is out their
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