The number one criteria for becoming a true magician is to heal thyself. Overcoming Anxiety can be done in a couple of weeks with a simple breathing exercise while at the same time once you complete this two-week breathing exercise you will have put a divine forcefield of protection around you where if you were attacked by a dog or another human they would be flung back without you even touching them
Hello, I'm a newbie to magick as well. Though I started becoming serious more than two years ago, still I can't put everything in order and try to make sense of where to begin.
One suggestion is to do research, a lot of it! There aren't many books which will categorically put all the styles of magick in one single volume. Read a lot on the internet before you buy any book. If you are the type who will be fine with knowing a method and then doing it, you will find lots of cook books.
If you can stick to a system and work on your skills before you practise actual magick then you can try quareia.com
Join several forums, reddit, etc., to know more as part of your research.
The reason why you're having a hard time finding information on the internet on books libraries it's because becoming a true magician requires that you become a student of someone who is connected to a lineage because most of the information that you will find out is not in books you're going to have to pull them out of the ethers.. I belong to an Ancient Order which dates back 76 trillion years whatever information that you're seeking I can provide it to you