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So, I grew up in a conservative home. I was taught to first love and revere truth.
At my youngest age that I remember such things, I asked God, the power of purity, for the wisdom of Solomon.
At a young age, and one of the earlier (but still later than before) things in memory, is that I made a pact. It was open ended: my soul for all the power and wisdom of God, such that I become it entire.
I don't know if anything became of that, because I will not attribute "causality" to "causal adjacency". But I do acknowledge "The Tinkerbell Effect".
I was given a number of tomes I was told contained truth, and nothing but, and truth entire. Which tomes those were is unimportant.
I read them, studied them, studied them, studied them some more, and then was grossly betrayed by someone who purveyed those tomes, according to the principles I learned from the tomes, as the tomes described them.
This cast doubt upon the tomes first recieved and this was my core lesson in learning the power of doubt.
I doubted very hard, and learned the academic purpose of doubt. How to and why to be academic about things, and to why and first how to describe them precisely. This is first where I started to learn the low magic.
But even so, I felt some other higher magic dying inside me for some time. I did not understand that, and so abandoned my academic pursuits for a time. It did not help that I had a deleterious romantic involvement, but whatevs.
I joined the army, after this walkabout. It is perhaps the culmination of it! I got some new tomes to study, and my magic veritably assaulted with the low parts of the Darwinian world.
I actually studied the tomes though. And I learned something useful:
Trust but Verify.
The shape of doubt changed for me in that moment.
While I was in the army, I joined the wiccan chapter, which was more just a general group for occultists and spiritualists. For what is worth I learned much about the surface shapes of what they believed and they had a resemblance in the structure of their understanding tightly resembling that of the first people with the first tomes.
Among them is the first time I claimed the title "Wizard" though not in truth.
It did not bear up under academic scrutiny in that format. I trusted for a while, but failed to verify
i also learned who I am, and that who I am, while a lover of peace and love, am capable of direct action. I have since pushed "the leverage game" twice, escalating to the maximum violence I had available to me in the time.
Shortly after that, my interests in my consensual sexual partners was revealed to be divergent and I was then no longer in the army.
i returned to the academic setting, and learned further the skills of logic and doubt, now armed with trust and a history. I joined (perhaps rejoined; memory gets fuzzy along the military boundary) a forum for skeptics and atheists. There I spent 10 years or so turning my academic mind full of it's razors of doubt, holding first all the ideas of Gods, Demons, Faeries, and so on with trust and trying to actually see, with an academic precision, what it was I was holding in the first place, not with intent to crush it but to merely observe with a fully unclouded third eye.
I discovered what gods may and may not be, what definitions and also what capabilities depending on definition, and I also learned in a backhanded way that I am a god. Not god of this universe, as far as I can tell (unless you consider the God of this universe to be all entities who know the true name thereof, by a very specific and not-very-useful definition of the word).
Since then, have learned that to discuss metaphysics with academic precision, metaphysics which define such powerful ideas as "'mutually compatible self-actualization' is the most powerful basis of strategy in nonspecifically goaled game theory" which is itself, when taken in the context of the use of math, the mathematical name of a particular definition of "God with a capital G" for whatever knowing it is worth to you, one must use language that is precise and take care not to conflate.
Most importantly, I use all this in my pursuit to summon the creation of pure imagination into reality.
At any rate, I am a Wizard: a person who applies the academic model and all according precision to all of metaphysics for the sake of better wielding the power to summon the pure creation of imagination into reality, and for which the foundation of that academic model is doubt.
I'm here now, because as a good friend said just the other day, "go as far as you wish on your own, but do remember to stop back and compare notes from time to time."
At my youngest age that I remember such things, I asked God, the power of purity, for the wisdom of Solomon.
At a young age, and one of the earlier (but still later than before) things in memory, is that I made a pact. It was open ended: my soul for all the power and wisdom of God, such that I become it entire.
I don't know if anything became of that, because I will not attribute "causality" to "causal adjacency". But I do acknowledge "The Tinkerbell Effect".
I was given a number of tomes I was told contained truth, and nothing but, and truth entire. Which tomes those were is unimportant.
I read them, studied them, studied them, studied them some more, and then was grossly betrayed by someone who purveyed those tomes, according to the principles I learned from the tomes, as the tomes described them.
This cast doubt upon the tomes first recieved and this was my core lesson in learning the power of doubt.
I doubted very hard, and learned the academic purpose of doubt. How to and why to be academic about things, and to why and first how to describe them precisely. This is first where I started to learn the low magic.
But even so, I felt some other higher magic dying inside me for some time. I did not understand that, and so abandoned my academic pursuits for a time. It did not help that I had a deleterious romantic involvement, but whatevs.
I joined the army, after this walkabout. It is perhaps the culmination of it! I got some new tomes to study, and my magic veritably assaulted with the low parts of the Darwinian world.
I actually studied the tomes though. And I learned something useful:
Trust but Verify.
The shape of doubt changed for me in that moment.
While I was in the army, I joined the wiccan chapter, which was more just a general group for occultists and spiritualists. For what is worth I learned much about the surface shapes of what they believed and they had a resemblance in the structure of their understanding tightly resembling that of the first people with the first tomes.
Among them is the first time I claimed the title "Wizard" though not in truth.
It did not bear up under academic scrutiny in that format. I trusted for a while, but failed to verify
i also learned who I am, and that who I am, while a lover of peace and love, am capable of direct action. I have since pushed "the leverage game" twice, escalating to the maximum violence I had available to me in the time.
Shortly after that, my interests in my consensual sexual partners was revealed to be divergent and I was then no longer in the army.
i returned to the academic setting, and learned further the skills of logic and doubt, now armed with trust and a history. I joined (perhaps rejoined; memory gets fuzzy along the military boundary) a forum for skeptics and atheists. There I spent 10 years or so turning my academic mind full of it's razors of doubt, holding first all the ideas of Gods, Demons, Faeries, and so on with trust and trying to actually see, with an academic precision, what it was I was holding in the first place, not with intent to crush it but to merely observe with a fully unclouded third eye.
I discovered what gods may and may not be, what definitions and also what capabilities depending on definition, and I also learned in a backhanded way that I am a god. Not god of this universe, as far as I can tell (unless you consider the God of this universe to be all entities who know the true name thereof, by a very specific and not-very-useful definition of the word).
Since then, have learned that to discuss metaphysics with academic precision, metaphysics which define such powerful ideas as "'mutually compatible self-actualization' is the most powerful basis of strategy in nonspecifically goaled game theory" which is itself, when taken in the context of the use of math, the mathematical name of a particular definition of "God with a capital G" for whatever knowing it is worth to you, one must use language that is precise and take care not to conflate.
Most importantly, I use all this in my pursuit to summon the creation of pure imagination into reality.
At any rate, I am a Wizard: a person who applies the academic model and all according precision to all of metaphysics for the sake of better wielding the power to summon the pure creation of imagination into reality, and for which the foundation of that academic model is doubt.
I'm here now, because as a good friend said just the other day, "go as far as you wish on your own, but do remember to stop back and compare notes from time to time."
