[Help] How to punish an avoidant as you know it

[Hund]

Punishing somebody is easy, but for an avoidant i finding out it's quite hard.
Which processes an avoidant should go in order to make them regret (and you notice it).

I was obsessed about that girl a month ago and i let it go. Now i look at this situation as an experiment, an opportunity for being a better practitioner.
As far as I understand, you need to change the person’s perception of value—the difference between the cost and the value of a bond needs to be altered. And it needs to be done surgically, in a way that makes sense specifically within the context of that bond. For example, if I were doing it to her, it would have to be based specifically on the bond between her and myself.

Also there's a common problem with love magick. People are stupid. It takes an annoying amount of time to realize their own feelings if they are a regular person.
How to make this stuff more.. noticable? to themselves?

 

[Hund]

Use your energy to find someone else who reciprocates your energy. It's not worth trying to override another person's free will.

i definitely would suggest the same thing to somebody else. but i want to look at this subject as some sort of science and experiments. Like I said, I don't hold a grudge, I don't harbor anger. But I want to do it. I'm not begging to have my lover brought to me. This is a self-development opportunity. Honestly, until a few weeks ago, I couldn't have said the same thing — I was truly upset about what happened — but I've forgiven her within myself. Currently this situation is like a puzzle, like some lego set.

 

[Nembra]

This is a much more useful way of looking at it, and it helps me form a more coherent idea of what those necessary virtues should actually look like. But I think the reason behind the sacrifice matters too. I'm not going to turn her into a saint just for the sake of it, after all. But I think the point that needs to be touched is starting to become clearer.

I'm not sure you actually can turn anyone into a saint, but the idea is actually oddly interesting. If you want someone to be a saint you kind of start becoming one yourself. It would mean you want what's objectively best for her happiness, which is acidentally a better quality of love than you'd give willingly. A saint would be able to easily tell you're quite a slimy individual, but if you made one yourself...? It's not exactly possible to stay cynical while genuinely working for someone's improvement. Man, this is absolutely ridiculous, I love it.

 

[Hund]

I'm not sure you actually can turn anyone into a saint, but the idea is actually oddly interesting. If you want someone to be a saint you kind of start becoming one yourself. It would mean you want what's objectively best for her happiness, which is acidentally a better quality of love than you'd give willingly. A saint would be able to easily tell you're quite a slimy individual, but if you made one yourself...? It's not exactly possible to stay cynical while genuinely working for someone's improvement. Man, this is absolutely ridiculous, I love it.

whatever makes you smile i suppose. I believe that if you properly touch the soul, body, and mind, and maintain the right conditions around them, you could engineer some sort of saint. But obviously, that's beyond the scope of any one person — hence why systems exist. Still, that's not my aim, and that's not my position. I just need to strike a one right spot, and I'm trying to understand where that spot is. And in pursuit of that, I'm hearing you guys out.

Post automatically merged: Sep 1, 2026

oh also honestly, I could have just gone the traditional route — I could have made sure she constantly experiences intense emotions, keeps thinking, brings the events in her life to me, and so on. There are tons of resources and solutions for this purpose. I could have reached my solution that way too, but right now I'm curious about the inner workings. but that's the "destroying your target" situation. i'm looking for the key, i'm not breaking any lock.