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When you try a new ritual, do it every day for 7 days. The first day you feel awkward. The second day maybe you're tired and in a bad mood. The third day you're distracted by work and it's too hot. But if you do it 7 times, ONE of those days, the metaphorical stars will align and you'll feel the full intensity of what's supposed to be there.
Relatedly: orthopraxy trumps orthodoxy. Don't worry if you feel silly or you're doubting yourself or you feel dull and cut off from the magic. Complete the ritual and do it again tomorrow. Trust that the connection will return. It's like being married: you don't end your relationship because you have a day when you're not feeling particularly loving [my younger self didn't know this either though]. Sometimes these emotionally dry patches happen, but they don't last, and they don't need to be a cause for handwringing and existential drama. Just keep doing the work.
(I guess that's what Pyrokar said except it's "don't let lack of emotions rule your decisions")
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"Unashamedly follow what's beautiful to you without worrying whether it's rational or not - you're not going to go crazy if you deprioritise rationality every now and again, you don't need to hold onto it with a deathgrip."
(Almost all advice is great for 50% of people and absolutely terrible for the other 50%. That strongly applies here. A lot of magicians could stand to worry a lot more about whether something's rational or not. But that's not what my problem has been)
Out of curiosity, is there anything specific that your younger self picked up and then abandoned that you're like, "you should have stuck with that until you'd mastered it, Tiny Xenophon"?
Out of curiosity, is there anything specific that your younger self picked up and then abandoned that you're like, "you should have stuck with that until you'd mastered it, Tiny Xenophon"?
I would not say anything, but leave a copy of Ouspensky’s The Fourth Way on my doorstep, with a little note, “from a special friend, with love”. A good timing for this would be my 18th birthday.
Out of curiosity, is there anything specific that your younger self picked up and then abandoned that you're like, "you should have stuck with that until you'd mastered it, Tiny Xenophon"?
I had the dubious good fortune to have started with the Crowley corpus. You know, his many many Liberwurst on wry offerings. I decided the whole thing was too labyrinthine and life too short. Like playing thirty-card monte. I wandered off into Stephen Flowers and found fairer pastures. Though I have since been de-Flowered, I don't regret avoiding the Crowley tarpits.
...does that mean... when you imagined giving your Younger Self advice, and you said "master one book/tradition" - you were deliberately giving your Younger Self bad advice? (If so, I gotta say, that's a power move. Fuck that guy, you don't owe him anything!)
Your advice isn't applicable to me (I probably live in safer / less religious surroundings) but it reminded me of a quote I liked from the fantasy book Sidewinders, when the main characters' mentor is advising them to keep their identity secret:
"Take twice the care you imagine necessary. You can step out from the shadows whenever you like. You can never step back in."
