Alter Ego dissolution?

[Wannabewizard]

Suppose you had an alter ego, that for most of your life you were unaware of, that for the most part is a controlling menace, unpleasant, violent, sneaky and manipulative. All the usual things that pass for normal. But you have had enough of it when becoming aware of it ruining your life. What would be the best course of action? I have heard of dissolving the ego an awful lot, and I could really use a positive sense of self regardless of what anyone else thinks of it.
As I see it, Ego is a survival tool that got out of hand. It's still protecting long after the danger is gone - just in case it comes back. Primal PTSD.

Would it be safe to dissolve an alter ego, or even possible from the 'true' Ego?
I have been warned off being enlightened by John Krieter. I would consider it if there was WW3 ect, as it would be a matter of survival for positivity when all is burning. I actually had lots of small 'E' like this through the coof, it was amazing and unintentional as I focused on projects.

Now I am actually able to purposely meditate and did reach 'void' state, I have a choice as to what to do.
A lot of it has to do with clearing trauma the Alter Ego fights me over, it horrid. Intentionally keeps me out the the spiritual. Would have me waste my life on PC games
This is not schizophrenia, even if it technically is a split off.
It contaminates every intention in self sabotage, until I have a large positive event and then it lifts. It smacks of borderline personality disorder at times. Cue the emotionally absent mother baggage.
I feel I am wasting a lot of meditation effort in not knowing what to do, what direction to take.
I really need some direction in this.

 

[whome]

I suspect that your alter ego is the same as the dweller on the threshold, and referenced by Don Juan when he referred to the human mind as a "foreign installation"

I like to think in terms of the personal will. It is an intelligence at the top of the personal mind that attempts to manage the personality to protect the personal will's most important asset: self esteem.

The personal will hates to be wrong and drives the personality to get its act together to protect that self-esteem

This is a very useful function as it requires the human to control body, emotions and thought.

Eventually however the human energy system is sufficiently refined and aligned to have conscious connection with transpersonal energies. At that stage the personal will kicks up a lot of fuss but eventually transitions from being defensive to being creative - and transparent to higher intelligences.

Thus the dweller on the threshold transforms to allow the angel of the presence (HGA etc) to take increasing responsibility for the human activities

Of course I could be wrong

 

[Wannabewizard]

So its like a gate guardian? If your worthy you may pass? Fight it to enter in?
In the Christian trauma recovery books I have they describe a shadow figure that seems similar.

I would prefer to be creative but it takes energy and finances. How do I get through it?

Also lots of door visions in meditations. And entities.

 

[whome]

The primary means is lifting the consciousness into the higher mental and into the heart.

You just grow above the personal will and therefore can manage it

 

[Wannabewizard]

Is there a practical guide to do this?

 

[whome]

Love yourself, love others

Forgive yourself, forgive others

When meditating, put attention in the heart

Avoid negative thoughts/feelings

Avoid adverse people, places, lifestyle, work

Consume food/drink that has good energies

 

[Yazata]

Suppose you had an alter ego, that for most of your life you were unaware of, that for the most part is a controlling menace, unpleasant, violent, sneaky and manipulative. All the usual things that pass for normal. But you have had enough of it when becoming aware of it ruining your life. What would be the best course of action? I have heard of dissolving the ego an awful lot, and I could really use a positive sense of self regardless of what anyone else thinks of it.
As I see it, Ego is a survival tool that got out of hand. It's still protecting long after the danger is gone - just in case it comes back. Primal PTSD.

Would it be safe to dissolve an alter ego, or even possible from the 'true' Ego?
I have been warned off being enlightened by John Krieter. I would consider it if there was WW3 ect, as it would be a matter of survival for positivity when all is burning. I actually had lots of small 'E' like this through the coof, it was amazing and unintentional as I focused on projects.

Now I am actually able to purposely meditate and did reach 'void' state, I have a choice as to what to do.
A lot of it has to do with clearing trauma the Alter Ego fights me over, it horrid. Intentionally keeps me out the the spiritual. Would have me waste my life on PC games
This is not schizophrenia, even if it technically is a split off.
It contaminates every intention in self sabotage, until I have a large positive event and then it lifts. It smacks of borderline personality disorder at times. Cue the emotionally absent mother baggage.
I feel I am wasting a lot of meditation effort in not knowing what to do, what direction to take.
I really need some direction in this.

There is a ritual called IOB (or IOS) which stands for Identify Objectify Banish (or Severe - I am uncertain now)
It is described in DMK's Modern Magick:

You basically visualize unwanted traits as a separate entity that is attached to you with a thin "string". Then you trace a circle around yourself with the other outside of it, and cut the rope and banish the undesired.

 

[Doorman]

Your Alter Ego reminded me of Jung's "Shadow". Maybe the right way to deal with it is not to "dissolve" but integrate it to your personality.
There are many meditation and practices to help integrating your shadow out there that you can find. Hope this helps you out...

 

[HoldAll]

There is a ritual called IOB (or IOS) which stands for Identify Objectify Banish (or Severe - I am uncertain now)
It is described in DMK's Modern Magick:

Great idea! I've just uploaded an e-book version of Modern Magic, it's indeed "Identify Objectify Banish" on PDF p. 251. However, you need to know the LBRP + Middle Pillar to use it but I'm sure those can be substituted with another form of banishing.

I sometimes question the whole reintegration and transmutation business of shadow work. On paper it sounds great but what do you do with addictions, for example? Can they be really turned into an asset at will? Maybe the best strategy would be to take an inventory as described by Bardon in his Soul Mirror exercise, for example, take a good sober and realistic look at one's personality/psyche and then decide what can be in fact transmuted/reintegrated and what should be gotten rid of completely.

 

[Mars]

Nigredo stage.

If you kill it you just create more problems. Instead take a look into you and see where this is coming from. It is part of you. It is endogenous, not exogenous. You created it and wanted it. And now you want to kill it?

Most people lack the will or strength to do this. As it is very unpleasant to accept and whiten it.

Man up and face it, accept it in all its entirety, dominate it and then merge with it. Like a man beds a woman

 

[Ziran]

Suppose you had an alter ego, that for most of your life you were unaware of, that for the most part is a controlling menace, unpleasant, violent, sneaky and manipulative.

OK.

All the usual things that pass for normal. But you have had enough of it when becoming aware of it ruining your life. What would be the best course of action?

Make a change.

I have heard of dissolving the ego an awful lot, and I could really use a positive sense of self regardless of what anyone else thinks of it.

Based on what you have written. You already have a positive sense of self. It is the self that recognizes controlling, unpleasantness, violence, deception, are negative qualities in your current life path. That recognition is coming from a positive sense of self in a form which Is counter-intuitive. It is positive as a consequence of opposing negative in spite of being ... combative.

As I see it, Ego is a survival tool that got out of hand. It's still protecting long after the danger is gone - just in case it comes back. Primal PTSD.

... Protecting ...

From your perspective the ego's prime motive is protection? I think that's highly significant.

Would it be safe to dissolve an alter ego, or even possible from the 'true' Ego?

Safe? It's safer with good preparation. But, no, I would not describe it as "safe". The risk is that whatever it is that replaces the ego will be worse in one way or another. In my experience, these sort of personality adjustments, for lack of better words, tend to work, but, it gets worse before it gets better.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 11:44 PM

I feel I am wasting a lot of meditation effort in not knowing what to do, what direction to take.

I recommend continuing to address the trauma. It's natural and normal for an individual with a history of trauma to over-react in a manner which presents like BPD, like they're on a "hair-trigger". This is because the trauma response doesn't cease eventhough the traumatic event is in the past. The trauma response is always running in the background of the mind-and-heart like a malicious computer virus. The mind-and-heart, the psyche, naturally will work very hard to prevent and avoid re-experiencing the trauma even in the tiniest ways. This is what produces the very rapid reaction which feels or seems excessive to others. It seems that way because they have not experienced the particular set of traumatic experiences which sets up the psyche for immediate fight-or-flight. It's also what produces the craving and the relief from immersive PC-game play. It's avoidant.

It's extremely taxing on the psyche to operate this way, with a trauma response running in the background. Most who have not experienced it, cannot imagine how exhausting it is. The remedy is closure. It's "ending-task" on the "malicious-code" which is running in the background of the psyche. There's various ways of accomplishing this. Usually it involves classical psycho-therapy where the traumatic experiences are examined in detail. This examination, in a way, puts the event into a cognitive box, and closes it so that it is no longer hovering, fluttering, over day-to-day activities trying to prevent, and protect against a repeat occurrence which is never going to occur again.

Now I am actually able to purposely meditate and did reach 'void' state, I have a choice as to what to do.
A lot of it has to do with clearing trauma

It contaminates every intention in self sabotage, until I have a large positive event and then it lifts. It smacks of borderline personality disorder at times.