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I use the principles of others… simply look at the psychonaut field manuel comic book lol. i‘ve used a similar premise as that to build my craft around, I take some ceremonial practice ideas, some newer science methodology to keep in mind but the biggest influence was Austin Osman Spare, without him I doubt I woulda ever got intrigued with the occult, it’s all thanks to Animism.
I enjoy other Chaos Magicians works but I rather adapt my own style. 2 years ago I was told I would be blind for life by a retina specialist and my heart would never work at normal capacity according to my cardiologist, I’d likely need dialysis for the rest of my life, I refused physical therapy and in 6 months I couldn‘t walk unaided, I was running, I couldn’t see I was taking shots with a bow that I couldn’t do before, I stopped needing dialysis a few Weeks after the kidney specialist told me I’d likely need to be on it for life,
I experiment, I find what works for me and I use it, the First day in the hospital the docs had me sign my last wishes with a notary and 2 witnesses. They couldn’t give me any painkillers because my liver, spleen, kidneys, heart ect were failing, they could only give me a small dose of ketamine.(the pain was causing my heart to fail but any opiate would cause my heart beat to slow)
they said people in my condition usually have a 70%+ chance of dying in 12 hours, I was at about the 36 hour mark, they said if I did ever wake up the infection would most likely go to my brain and there would be nothing they could do.
I just nodded said ok, went over my last wishes (didn’t want a funeral just a natural burial in a linen, wool or silk sheet, no casket, no priest no hymns or prayers, no blood draining to preserve my corpse,)
and it was about 6 months after Signing them I was able to do what they said was literally impossible.
there is o way in hell with a shredded aortic valve I should be close to a semi pro athlete leve in heart strength, there is no way in hell tat extensive scarring leaving me blind would heal to the pojnt my vision was better than before. I could go on but you get it, I don’t “do” magick, it was a craft I Honed, it’s a craft I need to live.
i take inspiration in myself, not others, I take pride in discipline, (in others and in mine) it didn’t come over night I was was up 2am walking up and down stairs, struggling, falling getting back up, and continuing, standing up too fast would cause me to black out. I worked hard but it would be in vein if it wasn’t for the meditations, visualizations, the craft I honed for nearly 2 decades, it gave me the discipline, it gave me back my eyesight, it gave me the willpower and most importantly the knowledge that THEIR limits were Not MY limits.
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^ also I needed 3 blood transfusions, B+ but there is a microbe in my blood, they called all over the US, only got 2 bags for transfusions. They tried regular B+ but it burned really bad and even though I could take the pain, my heart couldn’t.
