Finding meaning in the occult?

[cofe267]

Hey everyone, I have been interested in the occult for a very long time now despite being christian for the majority of my life but have finally decided to break away from it. This is simply because I never really felt any sort of connection whatsoever. I consider myself an extremely anxious person and would often lean on God for any sort of comfort. At first I believed that perhaps nothing worked because I wasn't putting in enough effort. I began fasting, reading the bible each day, praying, going to church, helping out at homeless shelters however I never felt at all close to God in any way. This was deeply upsetting to me and because of this I began to explore other areas such as Buddhism, Islam, Paganism. I even tried psychedelics out of sheer desperation but all of this only led me to feel an even greater sense of disconnect.. What I mean by this is I constantly feel as if the world around me is not real, regular maladaptive daydreaming and an intense feeling of not really being "here". The best way I can describe this feeling is as if someone else is controlling me while I watch. For instance, I will look down at my hands and not believe that they are mine, I will look in the mirror and I get a strange feeling that I don't know the person looking back at me. Not only this but I have very extreme anxiety, to the point where basic tasks, while achievable are very difficult for me, such as going to college, getting on the bus or even just going for a walk. Because of this I hate myself deeply, to the point where it is almost violent, despite not feeling so real. I am quite young but I believe if I allow this to persist, it will begin to ruin my life.

So, I apologize for rambling but my question is; is the occult a viable solution? Will it help me feel a greater sense of purpose, or even just a way for me to understand myself and the world to a greater degree and maybe allow me to let go of the things that don't truly matter?

 

[St. Stephen]

I'm not entirely sure that "the occult" is a viable solution to your issues as it seems the root of the issue based off your description seems to be almost crippling anxiety and self destructive thought patterns. "Occult" is a pretty broad term and covers an incredibly diverse set of worldviews, systems, deities, practices, etc. Now, some of these paths will provide some means and methods to help you discover some things about yourself and get you started on some form of spirituality outside of the Christian framework. Poke around the library and see what seems interesting. I have plenty of recommendations if you are interested.

When it comes to your anxiety, I can only offer the following advice. For one, try meditation. Try to clear your mind and think about nothing for even as little as five minutes in a relaxed position. If sitting, try and keep your back straight and your legs/feet relatively close together and uncrossed with your hands rested flat on your thighs. Any time a thought or worry creeps up just acknowledge it, let it go and repeat that process over and over. At the end of it take notes in a journal on what the recurring themes or worries were. Learning how to meditate and exercise some degree of control over your mind is often the first step in almost all occult practices.
Anxiety is a bitch, but you can overcome it. You mentioned not believing that the hands you look down at are not yours and looking that you don't know the person you're looking at in the mirror sometimes. This is called de-realization and de-personalization. It is a strange feeling indeed, and I've been there myself a few times. Don't panic. It can be oddly amusing under the right circumstances. It can be driven by anxiety, but considering you're now on an occult forum seeking help I'd argue its your mind and spirit having an argument and seeking some type of enrichment or development so, who knows, you might be exactly where you need to be. Don't let anxiety dictate your day-to-day. It's easier said than done, I know, but look at this way. "God" or some creator being way beyond our comprehension created a world for you to explore and discover on your own terms through your own free will. My worldview is (and you can totally disregard it, I'm not saying you need to adopt it) that we incarnate into a physical vehicle (the human body) here ultimately to gain experience and knowledge that feeds into this creator being as he attempts to know himself through his own creation. We go through countless cycles of this until our spirit or conscious entity, whatever you want to call it, gains enough experience and wisdom to where it advances to other dimensions or realms and serves a different purpose, ultimately becoming one with the creator over an undefined and incomprehensible period of time. You may disassociate occasionally as your spirit may not fully recognize the body you are in but the more you cultivate it and develop it the more at ease and comfortable it will become with the body and mind. The point being, approach life for what it is - an experience for you to ultimately enjoy while at the same time feeling and embracing every human emotion on the spectrum. Being worried about what might happen next or about what happened in the past strips everything away from what truly matters most - your experience in the present. God is always with you and within you. In my humble opinion, all you owe to him is to pursue what you truly enjoy in this life and to embrace all that the present has to offer you. Leave the bullshit behind you, and if you're gonna look forward, look forward to all of the opportunities you will have in your future. An occasional moment of gratitude when you have those happy/good moments goes a long way. Don't overdo it and don't overthink it. Anyways, like I said, you can DM me once you have enough posts around the forums and I'd be happy to share some beginner material with you if you're really interested.

 

[cofe267]

I'm not entirely sure that "the occult" is a viable solution to your issues as it seems the root of the issue based off your description seems to be almost crippling anxiety and self destructive thought patterns. "Occult" is a pretty broad term and covers an incredibly diverse set of worldviews, systems, deities, practices, etc. Now, some of these paths will provide some means and methods to help you discover some things about yourself and get you started on some form of spirituality outside of the Christian framework. Poke around the library and see what seems interesting. I have plenty of recommendations if you are interested.

When it comes to your anxiety, I can only offer the following advice. For one, try meditation. Try to clear your mind and think about nothing for even as little as five minutes in a relaxed position. If sitting, try and keep your back straight and your legs/feet relatively close together and uncrossed with your hands rested flat on your thighs. Any time a thought or worry creeps up just acknowledge it, let it go and repeat that process over and over. At the end of it take notes in a journal on what the recurring themes or worries were. Learning how to meditate and exercise some degree of control over your mind is often the first step in almost all occult practices.
Anxiety is a bitch, but you can overcome it. You mentioned not believing that the hands you look down at are not yours and looking that you don't know the person you're looking at in the mirror sometimes. This is called de-realization and de-personalization. It is a strange feeling indeed, and I've been there myself a few times. Don't panic. It can be oddly amusing under the right circumstances. It can be driven by anxiety, but considering you're now on an occult forum seeking help I'd argue its your mind and spirit having an argument and seeking some type of enrichment or development so, who knows, you might be exactly where you need to be. Don't let anxiety dictate your day-to-day. It's easier said than done, I know, but look at this way. "God" or some creator being way beyond our comprehension created a world for you to explore and discover on your own terms through your own free will. My worldview is (and you can totally disregard it, I'm not saying you need to adopt it) that we incarnate into a physical vehicle (the human body) here ultimately to gain experience and knowledge that feeds into this creator being as he attempts to know himself through his own creation. We go through countless cycles of this until our spirit or conscious entity, whatever you want to call it, gains enough experience and wisdom to where it advances to other dimensions or realms and serves a different purpose, ultimately becoming one with the creator over an undefined and incomprehensible period of time. You may disassociate occasionally as your spirit may not fully recognize the body you are in but the more you cultivate it and develop it the more at ease and comfortable it will become with the body and mind. The point being, approach life for what it is - an experience for you to ultimately enjoy while at the same time feeling and embracing every human emotion on the spectrum. Being worried about what might happen next or about what happened in the past strips everything away from what truly matters most - your experience in the present. God is always with you and within you. In my humble opinion, all you owe to him is to pursue what you truly enjoy in this life and to embrace all that the present has to offer you. Leave the bullshit behind you, and if you're gonna look forward, look forward to all of the opportunities you will have in your future. An occasional moment of gratitude when you have those happy/good moments goes a long way. Don't overdo it and don't overthink it. Anyways, like I said, you can DM me once you have enough posts around the forums and I'd be happy to share some beginner material with you if you're really interested.

Thank you for your reply. I usually try to meditate at least once every day and have recently started using the gateway techniques. And while I admit, I have definitely noticed being far more relaxed coupled with my mind being less crowded, my anxiety usually returns just as intense as its always been.
But moving away from that, I suppose I am interested in the occult as im hoping it will provide an alternative explanation about God and why we are here. I have always had a strong inkling that there is a God, a creator or whatever you wish to call it but through religion I have somehow never been able to feel at all connected to it. However after taking psychedelics I believe this has shifted slightly, although a part of me thinks that it might be more to do with my de-personalization perhaps? But anyway, during my trip I got a very strong feeling that visual experience of my life was more so just a screen that my consciousness used to perceive reality. This is quite difficult for me to put into words clearly but, I became aware of consciousness itself, as if it were an all-consuming ball of light it felt as though my consciousness itself had pressure and it was everything and the reality I was apart of was just a small part of its nature.
Or maybe i'm just a schizo, idk
But yes of course id be happy to dm you whenever possible

 

[DaveMaverick]

Anxiety is the symptom of modern post-human winds of our reality that are stripping away connection to ourselves, divine spark and each other
Had the insane crippling anxiety with no help from many different meds,
after that it was time to take matters into own hands, first things which I did was check the blood and hormone levels
Mineral levels, vitamin levels, hormone levels... Guess what, the years of average quality of food, sleep and quality of life caused almost all levels of many things to be off and outside of norms, especially levels of vitamins B and D, (K2 and A also help with absorption of vitamin D, btw epidemic of insanely low levels of Vitamin D is a known thing today, people dont get much sunlight and if they do, its like only less than 10 percent of body is covered, and it is said that over 30% of deadly chronic diseases and inflammation wouldnt exist if people just had normal levels of vitamin D, which also affects anxiety)
After that started taking minerals, like magnesium , zinc, melatonin (with v D) before sleep, that helped greatly
After that tried many meditations and yoga, that also was great,
including the challenge 90 days of no lying, no fap, and cold showers and moderate exercise,
also important: each day same time waking up, and eating healthy with proper personal food plan designed for you by nutritionist
Boom, anxiety - gone, 10 year old destructive depression - gone, many insecurities/undecidedness - gone
and no doctor told me anything even close to try, they just wanted to sell me meds
So yeah, you gotta take care of the Temple first, before taking care of the Holy of Holies
Take care Bro!

 

[Flavius]

I think being around people might help with the anxiety. It is almost like sitting under a cold shower and slowly adjusting to it.

As for this purpose you are looking for I would say the most important for any of us is to know ourselves as the divinely inspired Pythian oracle said. This basically means through your divine part to know things divine and through your mortal part know those things that are mortal. Strive to be like the gods.