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I’ve recently been quite drawn to the prospect of actually worshipping a deity, which is quite odd for me. I’ve never felt compelled to do so before, but I suppose something must have shifted alongside my rapidly changing life. I digress. The purpose of this exploration is both as a way to sort out my own thoughts on this topic and to encourage others to think on it themselves.
I feel a bit of background on the deity in question is in order. She is a Chinese deity known as Húxiān Niángniáng, translated as variations of Lady Nine Tail Fox Immortal or Lady Nine Tail Fox Fairy (or shortened versions of either). I will refer to Her as Húxiān from here on, but keep in mind that “Húxiān” refers to most fox spirits in Chinese mythology, while here I only mean Húxiān Niángniáng– a specific deity. She is a goddess of fertility, foxes, seduction, persuasion, passion, beauty, desire, and messages. I see seduction and persuasion as two sides of the same coin; both require a level of charisma and understanding of the mentality of those you aim to affect. In general, beauty is a running theme in the background of nearly all of the things Húxiān presides over, so I’m sorting through different ways to enhance my appearance and devote specific portions of it to the goddess.
I’ll begin with a question I’ve been pondering: whose standard of beauty should I strive towards? This is a Chinese goddess, so should I try to conform to Chinese standards of beauty? Or should I just aim towards my own, since I already have a rather distinctive style? I have some pretty distinctive piercings that I really don’t want to remove, and I have a few tattoos (and will get more eventually– I’m planning on becoming a tattoo artist, after all). So, I think I’ve settled on a combination of the two, which I shall go into more in depth, along with my reasoning.
I’ll start with hair, as it is a rather common (and important) part of different religions and spiritual sects. From the hijab of Muslim women, to the veils of Catholic nuns, to the long, braided hair of various indigenous peoples of the Americas (and far more, of course). Húxiān is typically portrayed as a beautiful woman from ancient China, so She abides by the standards of that time. That means very long, uncut hair bound up in a traditional style. I am already growing my hair out for spiritual reasons, but I struggled with deciding whether I should maintain my bangs or give them up. On one hand, if I were to dedicate my hair to the goddess, would it be disrespectful to continue to trim bangs? On the other, bangs have been a permanent feature of my appearance since I was a child. If I were to give them up, would I lose my sense of self to a degree? Honestly, I’m still undecided. I think I’ll continue to grow my hair out, and see how I feel once my bangs get long again (they usually drive me mad once they reach my mouth, so I guess I’ll see in a month or so).
On to tattoos; I absolutely love them, and I wouldn’t give up getting tattooed for any reason– divine or otherwise. I know some magic practitioners and pagans get tattoos related to their practice or worship, and I think I will follow that example to an extent. I’ve been mulling over the subject of a full back piece I wish to get at some point, and I think I’ll dedicate that large portion of skin to a depiction of Húxiān. As for the rest of my tattoos, for this area I will subscribe to my own standards, even if they’re a bit off-beat from what’s considered “normal” or “acceptable” by wider society. I do have my own boundaries with tattoos, mostly from an “I don’t want my tattoos to ever get sun-damaged” standpoint: any tattoo placement I cannot always hide with clothes is a placement I shall never get. This also lends to my individual take on modesty.
For modesty, I essentially divide how I dress in two: sun-up attire and sundown attire. My sun-up attire covers every part of my skin save my face and hands. It typically leads to those around me thinking I have damn-near Victorian views on modesty (despite being rather alternative-looking), and take issue with exposing my body in any way. I simply believe that one does not have to wear revealing clothing to be enticing (and that only goes for when I want to be enticing), and don’t like the sun. Sundown attire is more fun for me, as I get to expose my tattoos and wear anything I’d like, without fear of sun damage. As for how I plan on changing how I present myself in this area, I think I’ll start to put more of an effort into my sun-up outfits, so it’s more put-together (and aesthetically pleasing) than an oversized hoodie paired with baggy pants. The time styling outfits could be a daily section of time specifically set aside for the goddess. Additionally, I could add colors associated with Her (mostly white and red) as accent colors to my all-black wardrobe.
Makeup is something that I use as a confidence-booster, an activity to do when I’m jittery, and a way to influence the way others perceive (and subsequently treat) me. An example I like to use is the time I made it look like I’d been bawling my eyes out before I had to defend a final project in a coding class to a teacher who looked down on women. I played into his expectations in order to earn both his pity and a much better grade than I would have gotten otherwise. I feel this approach to makeup aligns pretty well with Húxiān, considering her place as a deity of both beauty and persuasion (She, along with other fox spirits, is known to be rather manipulative as well).
In regards to nails, I will endeavor to keep them long (for the most part), in the fashion of ancient China, in respect to the goddess. I say “for the most part” because I am also a musician, and none of the instruments I play allow one to keep all of their nails long. Thus, in order to retain the ability to play my instruments, I will trim the essential nails while I am actively practicing. In times that I do not play much, I will allow them to grow long as well. I also plan to make traditional Chinese nail polish from beeswax, egg whites, and flowers both as offerings to Húxiān and to color my nails with.
In general, I think it would be best for me to take a blended approach to striving towards beauty; a way to both make meaningful or beneficial changes while still expressing my individual style. I encourage anyone reading to think of any ways you feel you should change yourself in order to honor deities or spirits you work with, or reasons why you shouldn’t. Just give it a bit of thought– I find it a rather interesting topic, and I’d love to hear others’ experiences and thoughts on it.
I feel a bit of background on the deity in question is in order. She is a Chinese deity known as Húxiān Niángniáng, translated as variations of Lady Nine Tail Fox Immortal or Lady Nine Tail Fox Fairy (or shortened versions of either). I will refer to Her as Húxiān from here on, but keep in mind that “Húxiān” refers to most fox spirits in Chinese mythology, while here I only mean Húxiān Niángniáng– a specific deity. She is a goddess of fertility, foxes, seduction, persuasion, passion, beauty, desire, and messages. I see seduction and persuasion as two sides of the same coin; both require a level of charisma and understanding of the mentality of those you aim to affect. In general, beauty is a running theme in the background of nearly all of the things Húxiān presides over, so I’m sorting through different ways to enhance my appearance and devote specific portions of it to the goddess.
I’ll begin with a question I’ve been pondering: whose standard of beauty should I strive towards? This is a Chinese goddess, so should I try to conform to Chinese standards of beauty? Or should I just aim towards my own, since I already have a rather distinctive style? I have some pretty distinctive piercings that I really don’t want to remove, and I have a few tattoos (and will get more eventually– I’m planning on becoming a tattoo artist, after all). So, I think I’ve settled on a combination of the two, which I shall go into more in depth, along with my reasoning.
I’ll start with hair, as it is a rather common (and important) part of different religions and spiritual sects. From the hijab of Muslim women, to the veils of Catholic nuns, to the long, braided hair of various indigenous peoples of the Americas (and far more, of course). Húxiān is typically portrayed as a beautiful woman from ancient China, so She abides by the standards of that time. That means very long, uncut hair bound up in a traditional style. I am already growing my hair out for spiritual reasons, but I struggled with deciding whether I should maintain my bangs or give them up. On one hand, if I were to dedicate my hair to the goddess, would it be disrespectful to continue to trim bangs? On the other, bangs have been a permanent feature of my appearance since I was a child. If I were to give them up, would I lose my sense of self to a degree? Honestly, I’m still undecided. I think I’ll continue to grow my hair out, and see how I feel once my bangs get long again (they usually drive me mad once they reach my mouth, so I guess I’ll see in a month or so).
On to tattoos; I absolutely love them, and I wouldn’t give up getting tattooed for any reason– divine or otherwise. I know some magic practitioners and pagans get tattoos related to their practice or worship, and I think I will follow that example to an extent. I’ve been mulling over the subject of a full back piece I wish to get at some point, and I think I’ll dedicate that large portion of skin to a depiction of Húxiān. As for the rest of my tattoos, for this area I will subscribe to my own standards, even if they’re a bit off-beat from what’s considered “normal” or “acceptable” by wider society. I do have my own boundaries with tattoos, mostly from an “I don’t want my tattoos to ever get sun-damaged” standpoint: any tattoo placement I cannot always hide with clothes is a placement I shall never get. This also lends to my individual take on modesty.
For modesty, I essentially divide how I dress in two: sun-up attire and sundown attire. My sun-up attire covers every part of my skin save my face and hands. It typically leads to those around me thinking I have damn-near Victorian views on modesty (despite being rather alternative-looking), and take issue with exposing my body in any way. I simply believe that one does not have to wear revealing clothing to be enticing (and that only goes for when I want to be enticing), and don’t like the sun. Sundown attire is more fun for me, as I get to expose my tattoos and wear anything I’d like, without fear of sun damage. As for how I plan on changing how I present myself in this area, I think I’ll start to put more of an effort into my sun-up outfits, so it’s more put-together (and aesthetically pleasing) than an oversized hoodie paired with baggy pants. The time styling outfits could be a daily section of time specifically set aside for the goddess. Additionally, I could add colors associated with Her (mostly white and red) as accent colors to my all-black wardrobe.
Makeup is something that I use as a confidence-booster, an activity to do when I’m jittery, and a way to influence the way others perceive (and subsequently treat) me. An example I like to use is the time I made it look like I’d been bawling my eyes out before I had to defend a final project in a coding class to a teacher who looked down on women. I played into his expectations in order to earn both his pity and a much better grade than I would have gotten otherwise. I feel this approach to makeup aligns pretty well with Húxiān, considering her place as a deity of both beauty and persuasion (She, along with other fox spirits, is known to be rather manipulative as well).
In regards to nails, I will endeavor to keep them long (for the most part), in the fashion of ancient China, in respect to the goddess. I say “for the most part” because I am also a musician, and none of the instruments I play allow one to keep all of their nails long. Thus, in order to retain the ability to play my instruments, I will trim the essential nails while I am actively practicing. In times that I do not play much, I will allow them to grow long as well. I also plan to make traditional Chinese nail polish from beeswax, egg whites, and flowers both as offerings to Húxiān and to color my nails with.
In general, I think it would be best for me to take a blended approach to striving towards beauty; a way to both make meaningful or beneficial changes while still expressing my individual style. I encourage anyone reading to think of any ways you feel you should change yourself in order to honor deities or spirits you work with, or reasons why you shouldn’t. Just give it a bit of thought– I find it a rather interesting topic, and I’d love to hear others’ experiences and thoughts on it.