[Help] How do you balance (religious) tradition and personal spiritual exploration?

[shadowstalker]

I’ve been reflecting on my spiritual journey and the challenges that come with it, and I wanted to share my thoughts and seek your insights. As someone deeply interested in exploring different practices, I face certain cultural and practical obstacles that make this path a bit more complicated.

I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic, but my fascination with occult practices began when I was just 12 years old. I also don’t want to dabble Christian mysticism as much as possible. Over the years, I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with esoteric materials, often juggling between curiosity and the constraints of my upbringing. Being Filipino and a Christian comes with its own set of challenges when it comes to exploring the occult practices. Because in our culture, there’s a strong adherence to religious dogmas, and stepping outside these boundaries is often met with judgment or fear. This rigid tradition frustrates me, as it leaves little room for spiritual exploration beyond what is deemed acceptable by the Church. Especially the belief that Christ is the only way, because the bible says it, it creates an environment where any deviation is considered heretical. Like many Filipino families, we live together in one house, and I even share a room with someone. This makes it nearly impossible to perform the rituals and/or practices I’m deeply interested in. My initial fascination was with ceremonial magic. Over time, I discovered resources like the Gallery of Magick, while their methods have intrigued me, I’ve always wanted to expand my practice by incorporating elements from other grimoires, particularly those focusing on planetary influences to incorporate to a single conjuration. I fear being misunderstood or mocked, especially since there’s a widespread belief that anything remotely related to the occult equates to summoning demons or practicing witchcraft. This fear is intensified by the misconceptions within Christianity, where even invoking Abrahamic entities outside traditional prayers can be seen as dangerous or even blasphemous. Like I shouldn’t invoke the name Allah because it’s Islamic, and Yahweh/El/Adonay because it is part of Jewish practice. It’s frustrating because I see this as a form of spiritual exploration and empowerment, not as an act of rebellion or malevolence. I do understand that religion and spirituality can complement to each other but also acts differently. One is a dogma; one is a practice. Something a religious person would like to argue about (but I am not going to debate with them either). While religion or religious tradition can serve as a foundation or gateway for spirituality, they don’t always have to overlap. Spirituality can exist outside the boundaries of religious dogma, allowing for a more flexible and personal approach.

I also recall an incident when I was fourteen. My family discovered that I owned a booklet about our folk magic being sold online, I printed a copy of it. Their immediate reaction was one of caution, urging me to be very careful with such things, as they believed it could be dangerous. It kind of reflects a cultural sentiment toward the practice of “Lihim na Karunungan,” or “Secret Knowledge.” Here in the Philippines, this term encompasses various esoteric and mystical practices, a folk magic tradition, but unlike the structured systems found in Western grimoires. This esoteric tradition of ours seems to lack clear roots or consistent methodologies. Each booklet or text within this tradition often contains orations—invocations, prayers, chants, or spells—but provides little to no context and/no guidance on how to use them safely or effectively. The practice feels enigmatic and perilous, as without proper instructions or safeguards, practitioners are left to interpret the materials on their own, often risking misapplication or unintended consequences. This tradition is part of our faith-healers or shamans, even Christians got to believe in them, even if it is said to be effective. But It’s fascinating, yet also troubling, how these local practices are simultaneously revered and feared. They occupy a gray area in the cultural psyche, where curiosity is often overshadowed by a deep-seated fear of the unknown.

I know some of you might suggest renting an apartment for rituals, and I do plan to take that step eventually. For now, I was thinking about focusing on building my own system, the one that draws inspiration from various traditions and grimoires. I often feel constrained by my limited options, as sticking solely to Christian mysticism seems insufficient to meet my spiritual needs or address the practical limitations I currently face. So, I was thinking that by building a system that integrates elements from different traditions while remaining adaptable to my circumstances (thus performing syncretism), I hope to create a practice that is both personally fulfilling and workable within the confines of my current environment. Which this approach requires a careful balance respecting the integrity of these sources while innovating to suit my unique situation.

Being bound by cultural and religious expectations, limited privacy in a shared living space, and the fear of being misunderstood or judged. I would like to ask if, how do you think someone in my situation can navigate these obstacles while staying true to their spiritual path? What perspectives or approaches could help balance respect for tradition with the desire for personal growth and exploration? I’m interested hear any suggestions or perspectives that could help me further refine this system or navigate my current limitations effectively.

 

[Ziran]

@shadowstalker ,

Hello friend, I read your post, and I relate to your observations and experiences. Sadly, I am fully engaged in other matters, so, I cannot reply in depth or in detail.

In general, there are 3 pieces to this puzzle. Once you have these 3 pieces, all that's needed is to orient them properly and link them.

1) There's scripture that is used to grant permission for the occult aspirant, but, they're only useful to convince yourself. They won't convince your family.

2) Acknowledge that your friends and family will never understand or appreciate what you choose to do. That's one good reason to keep it concealed. It's called occult for good reasons.

3) The altars and other utensils in ritual are, tbh, props. They're a crutch. Good. Useful. Handy. But not needed. I'm telling you this to encourage you. If you work diligently, I think you'll find ways to improvise so that you can continue on your path, wherever you choose to take it with increasing discretion.

Best wishes and blessings,

 

[IllusiveOwl]

A grand and perilous curriculum awaits you, an adventure towards truth that will take you to places beyond your imagination.

Your circumstances remind me of the classical Alchemists, who must hide their laboratories and work on their philosipher stones in secret, under the very real fear of being burned at the stake.

Some things need to be addressed out of the gate: you cannot save those who are entangled in Dogma. You cannot share your discoveries with those entangled by Dogma. You cannot trust those who have trapped & enslaved themselves to Dogma. You have chosen the way of the individual, you wish to explore the truth yourself, to be your own guiding light, therefore you cannot trust the help of others.

It is so important too to understand that all rituals, prayer, and scripture were written by men who did not have written prayers, rituals, or scriptures to lead them. They made them to fovus their intention & magic, based off things they learned firsthand, thing you yourself have a right to learn just as they did. The reason why the details of tradition changes around the world is because each is a feeble attempt to put something into words and comprehension that our languages and logical understanding just... can't grasp.

The most powerful prayers are the ones you write yourself. The most impactful ceremonies and rituals are the ones you yourself create. I see tradition and past writings useful because they point the way to truth, but they are just guidestones most people are too afraid to leave.

I strongly suggest you read philosophies, theologies, religious histories, and take on a meditation routine. Past that, only you know how to handle your own limited situation best.

I may make one last suggestion, and that is to make your local library a home base, if your actual home is too cramped.

 

[shadowstalker]

1) There's scripture that is used to grant permission for the occult aspirant, but, they're only useful to convince yourself. They won't convince your family.

Sadly, that those scriptures or verses are only attributed to (the unnamed) God, I wouldn't call it in its human name either. So those are not really useful to convince them.

2) Acknowledge that your friends and family will never understand or appreciate what you choose to do. That's one good reason to keep it concealed. It's called occult for good reasons.

Some things need to be addressed out of the gate: you cannot save those who are entangled in Dogma. You cannot share your discoveries with those entangled by Dogma. You cannot trust those who have trapped & enslaved themselves to Dogma. You have chosen the way of the individual, you wish to explore the truth yourself, to be your own guiding light, therefore you cannot trust the help of others.

It does make sense because spiritual practices are personal, and I've heard some rumors that there is an oath of secrecy when working with specific entities. I took a view into Buddhism before, and it's funny that it has three vehicles. I’ve always been interested in the Vajrayana because it's the esoteric vehicle of Buddhism. It includes Mahayana, which leans heavily on philosophical doctrine and interpretation, Theravada, which relies on preserving original teachings while highly valuing personal meditative experience, and Vajrayana, which places less emphasis on dogma and focuses on experiential practices that often rely on empowerment (from a teacher) to access deeper esoteric methods and restricted materials/resources. Taking a view into Christianity in relation to what I said previously, most people practice the doctrine the same way as the ancients did. Some are able to interpret the doctrine with a bird's-eye view, leaning into Gnosticism, while others practice much more deeply, bringing them closer to God.

3) The altars and other utensils in ritual are, tbh, props. They're a crutch. Good. Useful. Handy. But not needed. I'm telling you this to encourage you. If you work diligently, I think you'll find ways to improvise so that you can continue on your path, wherever you choose to take it with increasing discretion.

I was kind of worried about the sigils and circles. I think it is common knowledge that a circle is meant to protect you from spirits and give them a limited space so they wouldn’t become wrathful (there are some entities that don’t want to be bothered). Sigils are like the nicknames of the entities being called. Because nicknames are given to trusted individuals only, calling them by their nickname creates a sense of familiarity or connection between you. But I also believe that sigils, when given, are personal. Some people craft different sigils for the same entity but call them in the same manner. Please convince me if my take on this is wrong. Not taking both of these into account might have uncontrolled consequences, right?

It is so important too to understand that all rituals, prayer, and scripture were written by men who did not have written prayers, rituals, or scriptures to lead them. They made them to fovus their intention & magic, based off things they learned firsthand, thing you yourself have a right to learn just as they did. The reason why the details of tradition changes around the world is because each is a feeble attempt to put something into words and comprehension that our languages and logical understanding just... can't grasp.

The most powerful prayers are the ones you write yourself. The most impactful ceremonies and rituals are the ones you yourself create. I see tradition and past writings useful because they point the way to truth, but they are just guidestones most people are too afraid to leave.

I realized that you might be right because people write based on what they believe in. And if it works for one person, there’s also a chance that it’ll work for someone else. Combining things that work for the same purpose can make the approach much more effective than an individual one. This makes sense in the grimoire traditions that compare different manuscripts under the same titles. I was once told by a ceremonialist not to perform the rituals right away but to study them first. Looking into different interpretations and versions, or at least gaining an understanding based on people’s experiences, which is something I feel this forum is about. Then, building the rituals myself. Is this why grimoires are so systematic? I mean, they seem to have everything one would need. Can I just be a silent ceremonialist like no utensils (like the one mentioned), no vibrations, just pure thought? I don’t think so... but it does seem theoretically possible. It even has some aspects that resemble yogic paths.

 

[Ziran]

So those are not really useful to convince them.

Yes. Are you convinced that your craft is permitted, and perfectly "lawful", depending on what you do with it?