Introduction Berni Emilia

[Bercookie]

Hello everyone. I'm honored to have entered this magick site. I want to tell you about my life. I bought hundreds of little bottles of moisturizer, makeup, and perfume, only to realize that people don't like me for who I am and they don't like my body.
I'm a 35-year-old woman, and I'm writing to you because I feel lonely and very sad.
It seems like a good site; people make an effort to fill out the "post" text boxes properly. I guess there are mostly Europeans on this site. I'm European. I'm related to Maculay Culkin and Lucas Grabeel. I should be with them in the UK, happily, as family.
Do you know what family is? Pure, true feelings. Not conditional, tainted love.
Pure feelings, the truth. How much would I pay to have that in my life? Someone faithful, sincere to share time with and relax with. Not like here in Chile.
I'm bisexual. If I stir and shake a lot, I'll start to feel attracted to my own sex. With the people I live with, and my family from this home, we live together, we live with these qualities of mine. Bisexual. I'm a biological woman, but a lesbian.
But I'm not aggressive. It takes a lot to make me angry, or crazy. I'm sensitive.
One says, "Why aren't lesbians respected?" because they're full of prejudices and too two-dimensional.
I'm intelligent. I'm very good at learning languages. I have a good artistic flair (drawing). I'm empathetic. I'm tender. If I don't understand, I clench my butt and concentrate. Until I figure it out.
I was a goth at one point in my life. I was from 14 to 19. And our people know that being icy cold is good for the blood and the heart. Like in Iceland, which is a northern polar region. Very cold. My dad reversed the bleaching and freezing process because he has very dark curly hair. But I want to be white.
I was chosen for veganism. Lots of nutrients, clean blood, just caring for the plants and keeping the human body from getting sick. The locals brainwash me with that. They want my friendship, but they don't realize they're abusing me (very harshly) and don't love me with true love. Why do I have to have discipline if I see that it never bears fruit?
It's despicable treatment that I don't wish on anyone.
Because I'm not aggressive. I'm gentle, like drizzle. And I'm fun.
Ethnic diversity exists. Very little solidarity on their part.
A photo of my dad:

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Since I eat raw vegan food, my mind is very clear, my blood is very strong, but no one wants to be with me. It's an outrage. It's bad for the mind and the heart.
Like my sister Rosita, who is also European. She doesn't eat vegan, but she's very physically strong, works out at the gym, and stays afloat (she's a paramedic) with her two pet cats.
My gray cat, Mokona, died recently sniff how sad. Just remembering.
I can't imagine not having a like-minded, friendly companion, like I know exists far away. A companion who matches my personality, tastes, and style. And for gangsters, everything is about money, status, and profession. They tell me that if I don't have a profession and money, I can't make it to Scotland. And I'll never be able to be with you.
There are also violent men who threaten to kill me for being such a lesbian. And it's alarming, because here in Chile, they die.
It's also super important to have sex appeal. To be attractive, fresh, and seductive. My breasts have lost shape (sagging), and I have a lot of belly fat. I have to correct those mistakes if I want attention.
But again, there's violence and physical concepts. Do I have money? Do I have sex appeal?
Am I lucky?
I hope to find, through this forum, like-minded and very nice people. With whom I can share everyday events, the Truth, and give each other love. Like a family.
I completed high school. Through Euroinnova, I paid for a haute couture course. I have vegetable seeds. I have books on agriculture, vegetarianism, and veganism.
I have a car to get around.
Luckily, I'm never short of money because my dad is a fisheries engineer (remember the very big coastal and sea frontier of this country). That's why I'm never short of money, and we also have plenty of money.
My dad is talented. He listens to music. He plays chess. He's warm and sensual. I say he should have more of a sex life and find another woman.​

I am aware of many things like nutrition, biology, human energetic field. I would like to learn magick, potions, charms, rituals of gratefulness and lifestyle of nordic people.
My site:

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Thanks for reading.​

 

[IllusiveOwl]

Welcome to the forum!

I sense you have a very potent egoic center, and it may be getting in the way of things for you, making life difficult and blocking connections with others. Many magic disciplines begin with a cleansing and self-reflective stage of meditation practice to disentangle oneself from one's narrative & ego.

I would strongly recommend forms of non-tangible self cultivation first before moving on to anything else, no physical treatments or remedies will improve you, because the problems you face are intangible.

I wish you luck on your journey, and your father looks like a lovely guy, I also agree that he should have more of a sex life.

 

[Bercookie]

Hello IllusiveOwl.

I sense you have a very potent egoic center, and it may be getting in the way of things for you, making life difficult and blocking connections with others. Many magic disciplines begin with a cleansing and self-reflective stage of meditation practice to disentangle oneself from one's narrative & ego.

That sounds like a potent solution. My egoic center is messing with me. The Truth must come out. People have to make sex more powerfully.

And that of intangible solution is very accurate.

Thanks for answering.