[Help] Its a bit long

[Dragonborn]

I had a concerning dream that might be related to my magical workings . For context I have been recently involved with draconian magic that is centered around Tiamat and the invocation of her children. For example I had tried to make a pact with mussussu/mushussu who I ended up dreaming of her altar having been destroyed and sunk at the bottom of a lake and so I tried to revive her using the voice and authority of another being .Recently I had this idea that I would like to give more power to the demon gods and Tiamat and give them a greater sacrifice so I decided to try to kill Marduk and give the demon gods his heart and body. All this was executed in a ritual and I later had the following dream. " I am running down an arched tunnel through a crowd of people and to get them out of my way I draw the seals of marduk from the necronomicon on paper and throw them at the crowd and they run in fear out of my way. I keep going down the tunnel and reach a temple courtyard and run to the main temple wanting to destroy it. As i get closer I shift my form into that of a giant or god wearing regal clothes and holding a spear or staff and raising a sun over the temple and at the moment I thought I had turned into the form of Marduk I had devoured. I then split my consciousness from this body and run around the temple before transforming into a dragon which I though was a form of Tiamat and fly over mountain before swooping down over the temple with a horde of monsters following close behind to attack the temple and I land on the top of the temple right next to the god form I had mentioned before. The dream shifts and i am suddenly on a sandy desert approaching a destroyed temple. I enter a chamber of the temple and try to summon the deity the temple is attributed to. I leave for home to get my dagger to defend myself against the entity when they arrive. At home I find multiple books with pictures of dragons and multiple sigils. Once I return to the chamber I notice a lion cub and back away knowing its mother must be close-by. It appears and I close the chamber gate while it claws at it. Behind me are two more lions approaching and i manage to jump over them and run into the desert when I notice a crowd of people playing. I run through the crowd so the lions can devour them and try to jump over a wall. Sand washes over the wall pushing me and making it hard for me to climb over when the dream ends." Could anyone share their thoughts on this and help me understand what's going on

 

[Yazata]

Please give your threads titles that describe your question, and use paragraphs next time.
Only thing I know is that dreams normally end with you being or going into a building (why you couldn't get over the wall) that represents yourself.

 

[ATOD]

Here's an attempt: you are angry. (my summary). You are using magic to separate yourself from others/community (throwing the seals) and you want power/glory (march into the temple: temple is usually your own subconscious/superconscious) si you have called Tiamat to you to do that, and she is willing, however, the end result is destruction/emptiness/fruitlessness (destroyed temple) because you are fearful of your own incipient magical power (lion cub) and you run away hoping it will hurt others and not you but you can't get away because the lions are you. I am also struck how often you summon only to destroy or fight and wonder if this carries into your daytime life in your interactions with people. Probably not consciously: you seem nice enough in this forum.

 

[Dragonborn]

Here's an attempt: you are angry. (my summary). You are using magic to separate yourself from others/community (throwing the seals) and you want power/glory (march into the temple: temple is usually your own subconscious/superconscious) si you have called Tiamat to you to do that, and she is willing, however, the end result is destruction/emptiness/fruitlessness (destroyed temple) because you are fearful of your own incipient magical power (lion cub) and you run away hoping it will hurt others and not you but you can't get away because the lions are you. I am also struck how often you summon only to destroy or fight and wonder if this carries into your daytime life in your interactions with people. Probably not consciously: you seem nice enough in this forum.

You may be right because I had thought of Marduk as a target for my anger towards the limitations of base reality. Actually one of the reasons I had delved into draconian magic is because of the chaotic energy. I had hoped that it would weaken what I call the veil and Marduk representing order I figured would stand in my way. Up until recently I had never really practised Baneful magick since I have always been defensive . I really do appreciate the temple and lion analogy since I had never considered them to be a part of me. Thank you