[Opinion] Marketable, Gross, or Just Plain Nuts?

[Xenophon]

We've all heard the put down, "Man, I could eat alphabet soup and s*** better sense than you're making!" How about that for a divinatory method? You ask the gods the question , then quaff the alphabet soup and await the answer on the morrow. If regularly successful, you could even set up shop. As the Romans had their haruspix reading goat livers, you could be a facespex. Mebbe "kakaspix" or "kakaskopus" sounds better.

Who wants to try first?

 

[HoldAll]

My, you must be really bored.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

...and unless there is something seriously wrong with your digestion, the chances of getting even one intact letter are extremely low.

 

[Tiana Silvermoon]

For that one might want to make letters from some material that isn't digestive

 

[Xenophon]

My, you must be really bored.

Waiting for one of those promised "before noon" emails that drag heels till 3:00

Post automatically merged: Mar 26, 2024

...and unless there is something seriously wrong with your digestion, the chances of getting even one intact letter are extremely low.

Such a letter would for that reason be brimming with Vril and arcane significance I should think.

Post automatically merged: Mar 26, 2024

For that one might want to make letters from some material that isn't digestive

My cooking has that base covered

 

[pixel_fortune]

Waiting for one of those promised "before noon" emails that drag heels till 3:00

for freelance work, I always put in the contract "I start charging you from the time when you said you'd get the draft to me, not when you actually get it to me" (or "when the briefing meeting was scheduled to start" etc)

alas, one cannot do this with co-workers

 

[Xenophon]

for freelance work, I always put in the contract "I start charging you from the time when you said you'd get the draft to me, not when you actually get it to me" (or "when the briefing meeting was scheduled to start" etc)

alas, one cannot do this with co-workers

Au contraire. I can turn blustering bully: bellowing, lurking, and stalking... Which perhaps hints why others are loathe to work with me, mebbe.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

For that one might want to make letters from some material that isn't digestive

"The Ooh-Aah bird is so named, because it lays square eggs."

 

[Xingtian]

If Wikipedia is to be believed,

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is a real thing. Unfortunately the article offers zero citations for this and the “further reading” section doesn’t look very promising. However if we take the notion of cosmic sympathy seriously, why not use poo? As Synesius says

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”If [prophecy] gives signs of all things through the medium of all things (because all things within that single living thing which is the kosmos are akin) and if these signs are, as it were, different kinds of writings in the book of existence – Phoenician, Egyptian or Assyrian –, and if moreover a wise man reads them (and the wise man is he who understands by nature), and one wise man learns one sort of writing and another another, and one better and one less well (just as some read syllable by syllable, some word by word, some taking in the whole context) – then, in the same way, wise men see the future, some by knowing the stars (fixed stars or shooting fires), some by reading signs in entrails, others in the cries, perches or flight of birds. To some again, what are called ‘symbols’ are clear writings of the future – voices and encounters which had quite other intentions. All things have significance for all: if birds had wisdom, they would have constructed an art for knowing the future based on observing humans, as we do by observing them. We would have been to them, as they are to us, wholly young, wholly old, and wholly competent."

 

[Robert Ramsay]

Most divination systems work by taking random selections of things and mapping them onto lists of known outcomes. Since they all use the same priniciple, I'd much rather use tea leaves than poo, but yes, if you were determined, you could do it.

 

[Xenophon]

If Wikipedia is to be believed,

Please, Log in or Register to view URLs content!

is a real thing. Unfortunately the article offers zero citations for this and the “further reading” section doesn’t look very promising. However if we take the notion of cosmic sympathy seriously, why not use poo? As Synesius says

Please, Log in or Register to view URLs content!

”If [prophecy] gives signs of all things through the medium of all things (because all things within that single living thing which is the kosmos are akin) and if these signs are, as it were, different kinds of writings in the book of existence – Phoenician, Egyptian or Assyrian –, and if moreover a wise man reads them (and the wise man is he who understands by nature), and one wise man learns one sort of writing and another another, and one better and one less well (just as some read syllable by syllable, some word by word, some taking in the whole context) – then, in the same way, wise men see the future, some by knowing the stars (fixed stars or shooting fires), some by reading signs in entrails, others in the cries, perches or flight of birds. To some again, what are called ‘symbols’ are clear writings of the future – voices and encounters which had quite other intentions. All things have significance for all: if birds had wisdom, they would have constructed an art for knowing the future based on observing humans, as we do by observing them. We would have been to them, as they are to us, wholly young, wholly old, and wholly competent."

Actually, I can think of some reasons not to use poo. Mostly aesthetic. I recall Po Campo, the Messican cook in Lonesome Dove, did spit-scrying.