Journal Morell's notes

[Morell]

Thinking about vamp ritual thread here I have, I've decided that it will be better to leave that one and start journal thread instead. After all monthly vamp rite is not all I do. So here I'm going to post some notes from my magic practice. Probably it's going to be pretty random... and might include more of pop culture stuff, but that's our current age and stuff at least I am rather surrounded with, not only because I visit a lot of comic conventions and similar events.

And just to note not all tales I share are recent. When I feel like sharing, it will be older stuff too.

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During first read of Teachings of the Immortals I noticed changes. I actually like how the book works with my mind and energy, to be honest. I'm giving it read n. 4 now. One of the mornings waiting for drive to work I had real desire to play song connected with Sephiroth so I run YT and played it. And there he was right in front of me, with strong energy and looking like wanting to devour me. I got out of my usual calmness but kept fighting and controlling myself. In reaction to that the spirit changed its expression to one of respect.

So okay, I took some exploration of Sephiroth and experienced with that one, as the tale seems similar to the Gnosticism and achievement of the goal of immortality. Worth it. Though working with this entity, or tulpa or whatever... don't know if it is part of me or not... It has a side effect, I started feeling deep desire to master katana. Decided that it's worth doing so I bought cheap bokken and planning to get metal blade later, stainless steel if possible, so I don't have to worry about rust. But there is time for that.

 

[Morell]

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Maybe better to write this down as I'm thinking about it now. In my experimenting with vampirism I went to try to "taste" spirits I was working with and those I work with nowadays. I was curious about how energy of different beings tastes, although, taste is not exact term. Sensing might be better, but I used imagination of bite and blood drinking that brought then the sensation, so I stick to speak about tasting them, or their blood.

The results were interesting. Each spirit has unique taste that changes , but keeps some specific aspect, that is specific to the being. Sometimes it can even have a "side-effect." One tasted like warm of evening sun, another like liquid soil or stone. This one caused me to become heavy, meaning that moving became impossible for me for a moment. Another one had taste of pleasant darkness. I also asked an angel, who allowed me, that one had blood imbued with light. After drinking that one my soul started to glow for few minutes, which was uncomfortable, but ever since I like to laugh at that.

All of the beings I tasted have red blood just like humans do; angels, tulpas, guides, vamps, all of them. At least I always saw or envisioned in my imagination a red blood. Sometimes usual red, sometimes darker, but blood. Since I have obviously curious fangs, I tried Sephiroth too. This time I was actually surprised, because he doesn't seem to have red blood, but more thick semi-transpared liquid with a blue hue and without any stronger "taste" or it has some I cannot sense or recognize yet.

In last few hours my brain has been running wild with a theory. In Greek mythology gods do not have blood as humans do. Their blood is called ichor and sometimes described as blue. Blue blood is indeed a term in Europe, noble blood. Another thought was the debate, especially this post (link) about two kinds of mythos. Ethernal now, a water. Ethernal change, fire. Blue and red. Blue blood, red blood... Is there a possible key to divinity and immortality? Does one has to change their blood to the other polarity, or is it achieved through gaining both and achieving equilibrium or balance of sorts? It kind of makes sense. It's wild build theory, but still...

 

[Morell]

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Lately watched impressive video, that really helped me to remind myself about value of LHP. Love this one.

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Also same author made interesting video on vamps...

It's difficult to accept the truth of learning, which is, that I'm going to fail, sometimes way more often than succeed. But it is so. When you do something first time, you are bound to make mistakes. The katana I bought I gifted to a cosplayer friend and bought myself second one. First I noticed that I do enjoy the training with sword, second I need a bokken with a saya for better practice. And third, the wooden bokken felt too fat.

So I bought a plastic one from Amazon. Was way better buy and I'm very happy with this one. It is not much thicker than metal one would be while being nicely heavy and beautiful to look at. It is interesting to try to invoke Sephiroth, especially worth being pushed into being able to wield a blade. I guess that it can later help me to intensify this practice. Wonder if I can get far enough to use Masamune (correct name of that blade type is Nodachi)

Spoiler: katana photos from Amazon

Also found a dead bat and put it into resin. Another my first attempt. Ended with one side being wavy and a lot of bubbles remained on the bat, But I love it. Found the bat already stinking with decay, but flexible enough to pose for drying. At least I know that it died without human "help." I like to focus on it occasionally. When I do, I notice a bat spirit around me. Makes me proud, because I love bats. They are very beautiful and mysterious animals, that are like unreal with their almost zero weight...

Post automatically merged: Oct 10, 2025

…maybe I should delete the photos from that post? I'm very proud of that blade, but I have no intention in advertising it...

 

[Morell]

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"Seraph Sephiroth."
Sometimes I skip because life happens, but As close as possible to chant this one daily. After evening spend with occasional physical exercise I was able to force myself to chant it for an hour. After thirty minutes I started to enjoy it and keeping it became much easier. During chanting I kept changing between body shivering with energy and pauses. First one was slight surprise but I guessed right that it was just a rest between those phases. Must say that after hour when I stopped I felt exhausted, but not physically, was kind of elusive.

It feels amazing to have the will to keep doing this stuff for an hour. Though I still have to strengthen my will. It's strange, because I think that there is nothing to be felt about willpower. That makes it truly elusive and hard to be grasped.