Practicing privately or in secret

[Shalux]

Hi,
Following a discussion started in @ShadowRogue 's introductory post, it seems to us (@AlfrunGrima @Morell and @ShadowRogue) that it could be interesting to share experiences and tips about practicing in secret, or privately. I don't myself practice in secret (my partner knows I practice, and actually might even start getting into magic and practice at some point), but I do need privacy to practice as of now, that is I practice when I'm alone. But I do have a physical library, for instance.
@ShadowRogue does need to practice in secret, and with permission I quote here what was in the other thread (to gather things at the same place):

Yeah, I sometimes have to laugh at the lengths I go to to maintain secrecy. But at this point in my life, I believe in this work so deeply that I can’t imagine not doing it. I'm just give you a few examples of what it looks like for me these days.

If you’ve ever seen movies like True Lies or Mr. & Mrs. Smith, where someone secretly lives a double life as a spy or assassin, that’s the closest way to describe how my life sometimes feels. It can get downright comical.

• I don’t own any physical books on magic, sorcery, witchcraft, metaphysics, or psi research, no grimoires on a shelf anywhere. Everything is digital and meticulously organized across Google Drive, Kindle, Everand, and Google Books.
• I have a small altar hidden behind a concealed compartment in a rarely used room. You can only access it through a door inside our coat closet beneath the main staircase.
• I don’t keep many magical tools or instruments, but the few I have are stashed in hidden spots around the house and even in secret compartments in one of our cars. I do, however, always carry two small objects on me, nothing that looks magical, but they are.
• Any complex workings at home require serious planning, not just around astrological timings, but also when I’ll have long stretches of solitude. It’s perfect when the family’s out of town, but then I have to scrub the place afterward and get rid of any trace, especially if herbs, incense, or smoke were involved.
• I mostly work from home, but when a project takes me elsewhere in the country (sometimes for 3–5 days), I use that time for deeper workings, either in the hotel or somewhere secluded outdoors at night. It can be equal parts thrilling and terrifying, lol. I usually research the local history in advance: identifying powerful or dangerous sites, noting who or what to avoid, and considering whether there are local “others” I might need to protect myself from, or possibly connect with. If I need specific tools, oils, or herbs, I make sure they’re available nearby or adjust the plan accordingly. And of course, there’s the fun of navigating airport security, some items can’t come along, and anything acquired locally might have to be left behind on the trip home. Yeah, it’s a lot, but it’s always worth it.
• I adapt my communication style to blend in wherever I am. In a corporate setting, I sound corporate. With family and friends, I speak like them. It might sound hard, but, really, we all do these switches unconsciously, all the time. And after years of belief- and paradigm-shifting, it’s second nature to me. The trick is not clinging to one fixed identity. You’re not just one person, there are many versions of you, each with its own priorities, skills, and even beliefs. Learn to switch between them as easily as changing clothes. (See: Jungian psychology, Internal Family Systems, multiplicity theory, the protean self.)
• Sometimes, I even wake up in the middle of the night, quietly walk through the house, and silently pray blessings and protections over each of my loved ones. Then I go use the bathroom, and then sneak back into bed, lol.

There’s a lot more that I’m not willing to share publicly, but you get the idea. Practicing in private is one thing; practicing in secret is another. It can be fun, it can be frightening, and sometimes I wonder, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” But I’ll never say this path hasn’t been worth it.

@AlfrunGrima also needs to practice secretly, and wrote some text in the other thread (not sure yet I can quote, so let's wait)!
Any others interested in sharing their own experience about this?

 

[Morell]

Good job. I love this topic.

For me it depends on the particular practice. There are things I do public, some I do privately and some in secret.

To make an example, I don't shy from meditating in public. people mostly think I fall asleep, which doesn't bother anyone. Although sometimes they think it bad for me to sleep and keep waking me up. They don't mean it bad, so it's hard to blame them.

I have an altar where I do private practice, like silent prayers, visualizations, chanting and stuff. It's the stuff I don't mind if people find out, though I'm not happy about it.

And then there is stuff like blood magic that I keep in secret. Patched wounds is something people notice, but since the wounds are small and I don't do it often, no one really thinks about it much and the secret remains hidden.


Concerning the books, I have small physical library and vast electronic one, of course. Among the electronic ones which I cannot buy I sometimes find the most useful texts and make homemade books. But among paper ones I have few that I'm really proud to have, like still incomplete collection of Thursakyngi books (I have numbers 1 and 3, hoping to buy 2 from Ixaxxar, when they make reprint) Not exactly hidden stuff, except one book that I consider so dangerous that it must be locked away. But people around me do not really explore my books with interest to read anything. (and they cannot read English much so it's safe on that too)

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Well, I was not in secret practice when I lived with my younger brother in the city. I even had a MSN group on the internet about witchcraft. I had tools and an altar. But, I moved back to the little catholic farmer village because of loving a man who grew up in that same village. The way he grew up and the bonds he and his family has within the village, makes that I am in secret practice. I know that it can hurt the family. My hubby, although very be loving, would understand zero of it. I made the choice not to hurt, but do my own thing in silence. I am in the lucky position of not feeling guilt or mental blocks concerning religion/Christianity. I can go perfectly to the chapel of saint Mary in the morning or sing Glory to God (Bach, Weihnachtsoratorium in this period, Ehre sei Gott) in the choirs and do in the evening my own private/secret thing.

Things like meditation and mindfulness are a little bit a kind of buzzwords the last years. So I figured out that, if I perform all magic in my mind, no one would have a clue what I am doing. Even not my hubby. To do so I had be much, much, much more better in visualization. Oh my, I was so bad in visualization at that time. But the learning curve was a steep one and after a while I could perform complete rituals just comfortably sitting in a chair, doing physically nothing, eyes closed. I have my favorite spots in house or the garden. I think it is worthwhile for every practitioner to learn this ability. For myself I made exercises and procedures to learn things. I have posted one in the tutorial section of the forum last week. I have to add, that I tend to learn better if I make my own exercises. That is even the same on oboe. Concerning rituals: over time when performing everything in mind, I stripped things down to it's very base... I have to admit that chaos magic did set me on a way of thinking that works.

I work a lot with plant/tree allies too. And this is where walking the dog becomes a very elegant and handy solution. I have even names for of my allies and our smart beagle dog knows them. If I say, lets go to ..... the dog start to walk to the particular ally. The funny thing is, hubby and other people walk very often the same routes, but dont have clue. I have posted something about plant allies in the witchcraft a while ago, if you are interested.

In the garden I grew some ingredients that other people won't notice. As example: I grew in my little green house a bhut Jolokia pepper (very hot!) and harvested the seeds as ingredient. I have a collection of seeds for the garden, so nobody would notice. And nobody knows why the taxus tree is in the front garden. And for other spell ingredients, there is a lot in my kitchen cupboard from which other people including hubby think that it is for cooking. And while cooking: it is easy to cut for example a sigil in a potato before throwing the potato in the hot boiling water. Works perfectly fine! Other sigils are in my drawing book. For others it is only a drawing book and bunch of sakura pens, for me it is a book of magic. I am a kind of hobby person with making quilts and so on. Drawings I don't wanted to be seen are in the cupboard with hobby stuff. I have protected the drawing book however with a thoughtform, just to be safe and I have a lot of clues that the thoughtform doing its job.

Concerning incense, hubby hates incense. But as a kind of home perfumes he and a lot friends around us, like the essential oils I am damping every once in a while. For me it is a great mood booster to get in the zone. The only candles are waxine lights. On another place on the forum, I saw a concern about not having the right candle colors for a ritual. I solved it by projecting/visualization an ascending spiraling energy line coming from the flame in the color I need. It takes practice to learn, but it works!

Books: I have everything on my laptop and on my e reader. I have to be thankful for WF because of finding here so much books on PDF. If my income has a little grow next year I will be for certain a benefactor. I have no hardcopy books anymore.

Due to work rhythms, I am most of the time earlier out of bed than hubby so I can practice in the morning in silence with as a only sound the ticking of the clock. The ticking of the clock has become a stimulus for practicing. I count the ticking clock as my most important tool now.

Hopefully you get the idea how things worked out.