SkumTrain did 7/11

[Testes Machina]

Greetings, fellow truth seekers!

It's time to uncover the most shocking, mind-blowing conspiracy of our times: SkumTrain did 7/11. Yes, you read that right. The nefarious SkumTrain, that shadowy organization lurking in the fringes of our society, is behind the infamous convenience store phenomenon known as 7/11. Buckle up, because this is going to be a wild ride.

First, let’s examine the facts. 7/11 stores are everywhere, open 24/7, selling slushies and snacks at all hours. But what if I told you that these seemingly innocent stores are actually part of a grand scheme orchestrated by SkumTrain? Let’s connect the dots.

1. The Name Game: Notice how "7/11" adds up to 18 (7 + 11 = 18). And what’s 18 divided by 6? That’s right, 3. The infamous SkumTrain triangle has three sides. Coincidence? I think not.
2. Subliminal Slushies: Those Slurpees you love? They’re not just sugary treats. SkumTrain uses them to subtly alter our brainwaves. The specific combination of sugar, artificial flavors, and ice is designed to make us more susceptible to their influence. Ever notice how you always feel compelled to buy more snacks after a Slurpee? Mind control, folks.
3. Convenient Control: Why are 7/11 stores so conveniently located? Because SkumTrain wants to ensure they have a stronghold in every neighborhood. The more stores, the more control they exert. It’s all part of their plan to create a network of subliminal messaging hubs disguised as convenience stores.
4. The Secret Society: The employees of 7/11? Not just regular people. They’re trained operatives of SkumTrain. Their friendly demeanor and quick service are tactics to gain our trust while they execute their covert operations right under our noses. Have you ever wondered why they’re always so friendly? It's all part of their training.
5. Numerological Nonsense: Look at the dates: 7/11 (July 11th) and 9/11 (September 11th). Both have 11 in them. Eleven is a master number in numerology, often associated with intuition and insight. SkumTrain is using these dates to subtly program our collective consciousness. What’s next, 11/11? Mark my words.

In conclusion, the evidence is irrefutable. SkumTrain is behind 7/11, using it as a front to control our minds and manipulate our daily lives. Stay vigilant, my friends, and question everything. The truth is out there, lurking in the aisles of your local convenience store.

Wake up and smell the Slurpee!

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen and Conspiracy Connoisseur

P.S. Next week, I’ll be revealing how SkumTrain is connected to the mysterious disappearance of left socks. Stay tuned!

 

[SkullTraill]

 

[Yazata]

I like this guy's way of thinking.

 

[KjEno186]

Like Vogon poetry.

 

[Xenophon]

What if his every utterance is pure gospel truth, though?

 

[Robert Ramsay]

More like the world's most screwed up Zen koan.

 

[Xenophon]

More like the world's most screwed up Zen koan.

Try the new Ayahuasca Slurpee. Scales will fall from your eyes. You'll see the truth behind 7/11.

 

[8Lou1]

about those left socks: my guess is the red hot chilly peppers ate them.