- Joined
- Sep 27, 2024
- Messages
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Hello, this will be my depository for my journey into high strangeness. My real name is not important, you may refer to me as Tomoko.
This journey will be difficult, but I am committed to my spiritual journey, what lofty heights I will see at the mystic's mountaintop. But first, I will need to take babysteps before I can climb.
WizardForums seems like an adequate place for my thoughts, I am with like-minded fellows, though, if I may speak my mind, a little bit of edgelordism is infused with a couple of you, plus the ghastly individuals attempting to manipulate and abuse others via love spells and the like, this isn't to mention the ones abusing energy for vampirism. Seems a bit unethical and juvenile, a misuse of magic... But who am I to judge.
My eyes are set on ars memoriae, The Art of Memory, I will use Giordano Bruno's mnemonic system, I expect this to come to fruition within 7 to 6 months of practice. Tulpa/Servitor creation for increasing synchronicities, luck, and to act an internal operating system for maintaining & "upgrading" my body, also plainly just for companionship. Lastly, increasing my meditation abilities for magical purposes. These three will be a boon to my efforts as a beginner magician.
Current matters continue to torment my mind, it is nothing of the preternatural nature, rather neurological, namely ADHD and a deeply ingrained maladaptive daydream, I take Vyvanse, but my antipsychotics nullify its effects and render it impotent. My thoughts wander into the mundane and uninteresting, chronic loneliness and a constant need for validation does not mix well with my ADHD, I wish not to delve into what the contents of my daydreams are, just know it causes me to be in a constant state of dopamine rush. I've effectively doped myself with an abstract drug.
My meditation skills are subpar, dare I say nonexistent. This will trouble me if I do not address it. However, I simply can not sit down and think about nothing, no matter how hard I try, my mind is like a wild, untamed savage. I believe I've been approaching this all wrong, I've been using the traditional Buddhist method of meditation, that which is meant for the dissolution of the mind, I do not seek to dissipate my own consciousness, so I will have to try different types of meditation methods, visualization seems like an obvious fit seeing as I will be using ars memoriae. Starting today, I will meditate on my patron deities: Hekate, Ishtar, Venus & the Goetic entity Murmur, the memory wheel, and my mental companions.
I must not waste time, I need to study more on the things I've listed, then put them into practice.
See you soon.
This journey will be difficult, but I am committed to my spiritual journey, what lofty heights I will see at the mystic's mountaintop. But first, I will need to take babysteps before I can climb.
WizardForums seems like an adequate place for my thoughts, I am with like-minded fellows, though, if I may speak my mind, a little bit of edgelordism is infused with a couple of you, plus the ghastly individuals attempting to manipulate and abuse others via love spells and the like, this isn't to mention the ones abusing energy for vampirism. Seems a bit unethical and juvenile, a misuse of magic... But who am I to judge.
My eyes are set on ars memoriae, The Art of Memory, I will use Giordano Bruno's mnemonic system, I expect this to come to fruition within 7 to 6 months of practice. Tulpa/Servitor creation for increasing synchronicities, luck, and to act an internal operating system for maintaining & "upgrading" my body, also plainly just for companionship. Lastly, increasing my meditation abilities for magical purposes. These three will be a boon to my efforts as a beginner magician.
Current matters continue to torment my mind, it is nothing of the preternatural nature, rather neurological, namely ADHD and a deeply ingrained maladaptive daydream, I take Vyvanse, but my antipsychotics nullify its effects and render it impotent. My thoughts wander into the mundane and uninteresting, chronic loneliness and a constant need for validation does not mix well with my ADHD, I wish not to delve into what the contents of my daydreams are, just know it causes me to be in a constant state of dopamine rush. I've effectively doped myself with an abstract drug.
My meditation skills are subpar, dare I say nonexistent. This will trouble me if I do not address it. However, I simply can not sit down and think about nothing, no matter how hard I try, my mind is like a wild, untamed savage. I believe I've been approaching this all wrong, I've been using the traditional Buddhist method of meditation, that which is meant for the dissolution of the mind, I do not seek to dissipate my own consciousness, so I will have to try different types of meditation methods, visualization seems like an obvious fit seeing as I will be using ars memoriae. Starting today, I will meditate on my patron deities: Hekate, Ishtar, Venus & the Goetic entity Murmur, the memory wheel, and my mental companions.
I must not waste time, I need to study more on the things I've listed, then put them into practice.
See you soon.