unsure where to post - induce a fast, peaceful *physical* death.

[marierose24]

Please do not judge. This is not a spur of the moment emotional upset. I thank you in advance for your time, reading this, & if you have any info or advice to offer. I’d like to start by saying I have tried absolutely everything else, whether it be spiritual, “medical/psychological help”, etc. including even trying to induce death through meditation. I have had many out of body experiences and have often felt annoyed that my body is tethered to the earth, preventing me from truly being ascended/free. At the same time, I always struggled balancing being grounded on earth and completely up in the astral plane, but I feel as though I have messed that balance up beyond repair and now my consciousness has been suffering immensely. I don’t think my highest self wants me to die but I am in, what feels like, hell. I don’t know what to do. I’d just like to start over, whichever way that may be. The entire year it’s though I have been completely blocked & things are truly at a point of no return; irreparable. The damage to this current body/mind is too severe. I would say I’m to blame for some of it but I also felt as though some outside factors contributed that were out of my control, keeping me from reaching my highest potential. I am advanced in energy work and Reiki, and even that, it will not fix or even touch the situation. My spirit and soul are stuck because of this, it feels like. They want to live, but there is just no way. I am looking to induce a fast, painless, peaceful ceasing of existence (or this specific existence) for myself. I have thought about “ending it” in a straightforward way but I have not because I have had the STRONG feeling that it would not work & would leave me worse off, that I am not meant to go yet. I don’t know if this can be altered because there is no chance for happiness, peace or stability anymore. I am 101% certain that “time” will not heal this. I am 23 years old and have been a practicing witch/spiritualist since I was 16 years old. I am not new to this. I am not looking to cause harm to anyone else, nor anymore suffering to myself. I am seeking peace, it’s all I want. Things have gone too wrong for some reasons in my control, & some out of. There is no chance for me to heal enough to live a life thats worth it, on this timeline, in this body, anymore. Unless I can genuinely go back in time & do things differently, this seems to be my only choice to avoid unimaginable suffering until it’s my time to go on this timeline.

I was thinking about & looking into using a poppet of myself to induce a passing. I have never done this type of work before. I don’t have access to yarn or fabrics- so I was wondering if this could be done with paper, maybe stapling two cutouts together, or a preexisting doll or stuffed animal, with the intention that it’s me. I was thinking about removing the parts that keep it alive, the “brainstem” & “heart”. Any practitioners who work with death, please provide me with information or instructions on how I might safely do this. Even if its not with the poppet i am open to anything else. I have never worked with death before. I am looking for it to be as fast & painless as possible & of course peaceful without any negative karmic repercussions. I am just wanting to ease suffering. I also have heard about involving dirt from a graveyard in this spell. I am unsure how to go about this in terms of how I would set this all up & ensure it brings a painless ceasing without more suffering. Do I put certain things inside of the “doll”? How do I activate it? Do I need certain ingredients, etc.?

Thank you for reading & thanks for your responses. 🩵

-Marie

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 1:54 AM

Please do not judge. This is not a spur of the moment emotional upset. I thank you in advance for your time, reading this, & if you have any info or advice to offer. I’d like to start by saying I have tried absolutely everything else, whether it be spiritual, “medical/psychological help”, etc. including even trying to induce death through meditation. I have had many out of body experiences and have often felt annoyed that my body is tethered to the earth, preventing me from truly being ascended/free. At the same time, I always struggled balancing being grounded on earth and completely up in the astral plane, but I feel as though I have messed that balance up beyond repair and now my consciousness has been suffering immensely. I don’t think my highest self wants me to die but I am in, what feels like, hell. I don’t know what to do. I’d just like to start over, whichever way that may be. The entire year it’s though I have been completely blocked & things are truly at a point of no return; irreparable. The damage to this current body/mind is too severe. I would say I’m to blame for some of it but I also felt as though some outside factors contributed that were out of my control, keeping me from reaching my highest potential. I am advanced in energy work and Reiki, and even that, it will not fix or even touch the situation. My spirit and soul are stuck because of this, it feels like. They want to live, but there is just no way. I am looking to induce a fast, painless, peaceful ceasing of existence (or this specific existence) for myself. I have thought about “ending it” in a straightforward way but I have not because I have had the STRONG feeling that it would not work & would leave me worse off, that I am not meant to go yet. I don’t know if this can be altered because there is no chance for happiness, peace or stability anymore. I am 101% certain that “time” will not heal this. I am 23 years old and have been a practicing witch/spiritualist since I was 16 years old. I am not new to this. I am not looking to cause harm to anyone else, nor anymore suffering to myself. I am seeking peace, it’s all I want. Things have gone too wrong for some reasons in my control, & some out of. There is no chance for me to heal enough to live a life thats worth it, on this timeline, in this body, anymore. Unless I can genuinely go back in time & do things differently, this seems to be my only choice to avoid unimaginable suffering until it’s my time to go on this timeline.

I was thinking about & looking into using a poppet of myself to induce a passing. I have never done this type of work before. I don’t have access to yarn or fabrics- so I was wondering if this could be done with paper, maybe stapling two cutouts together, or a preexisting doll or stuffed animal, with the intention that it’s me. I was thinking about removing the parts that keep it alive, the “brainstem” & “heart”. Any practitioners who work with death, please provide me with information or instructions on how I might safely do this. Even if its not with the poppet i am open to anything else. I have never worked with death before. I am looking for it to be as fast & painless as possible & of course peaceful without any negative karmic repercussions. I am just wanting to ease suffering. I also have heard about involving dirt from a graveyard in this spell. I am unsure how to go about this in terms of how I would set this all up & ensure it brings a painless ceasing without more suffering. Do I put certain things inside of the “doll”? How do I activate it? Do I need certain ingredients, etc.?

Thank you for reading & thanks for your responses. 🩵

-Marie

I also want to make it known that I have not worked with or purposefully ever invoked any demons. I have begged for help from God, confessed any “sins” that I may have done- & I am in the same place still.

 

[voidcat]

Im the same age and started paganism and witchcraft around the 16. Ive had suicidal ideation before. This post makes me really sad as a result i can relate in some way but not fully. I don't think I could help here. But it sounds like you are really struggling. I would say you are very young. And your higher self probably knows if that balance can be fixed you have a lot in store for you. A lot you could do for the world.

Aside from that I don't have much else to say. I don't understand those feelings very well the feelings regarding balance, one foot being in the astral plane one here...

I also feel you likely aren't as experienced in witchcraft as you think. I say this because of your age and because of starting at 16. I'm not very experienced for example and most people with similar backgrounds where they start in teens and are in early 20s aren't either. There's a lot of understanding with the occult that is a lot easier to understand the older you get. Perhaps an older healer could help heal that astral balance

 

[marierose24]

Im the same age and started paganism and witchcraft around the 16. Ive had suicidal ideation before. This post makes me really sad as a result i can relate in some way but not fully. I don't think I could help here. But it sounds like you are really struggling. I would say you are very young. And your higher self probably knows if that balance can be fixed you have a lot in store for you. A lot you could do for the world.

Aside from that I don't have much else to say. I don't understand those feelings very well the feelings regarding balance, one foot being in the astral plane one here...

I also feel you likely aren't as experienced in witchcraft as you think. I say this because of your age and because of starting at 16. I'm not very experienced for example and most people with similar backgrounds where they start at 16 and are in early 20s aren't either. There's a lot of understanding with the occult that is a lot easier to understand the older you get. Perhaps an older healer could help heal that astral balance

I appreciate your reply. But for my whole life I’ve been gifted & my spirituality is all I’ve ever known. I also have struggled with mental health & suicidiality and it’s always been able to be fixed or eased in one way or another. This is something different. Its not even just about witchcraft it’s about energy work, that connection, which I did even as a kid without knowing what it was. I intuitively know this cannot be fixed, no one can help me in any other way, not any older healers either, as I have many in my life who have truly tried. I appreciate the reply, but I do know what I am talking about. There isn’t a way to fix this unless I could genuinely undo things so that’s why I am looking to cease the suffering so I don’t have to endure the horrors that I intuitively see coming for the next many decades.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 2:45 AM

As a general statement to anyone coming across this post, yes it is all pretty complicated & I don’t expect anyone to fully understand or fix it in any way. I guess you’ll just have to take my word on certain things. I’m moreso looking for the specific help/info on the poppet & other ways to do this. If you don’t agree thats fine, I understand. I am looking to reach maybe people who can offer me assistance. Thanks everyone.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 2:46 AM

It’s also hard to put this into words in a way that makes sense & conveys my experience.

 

[voidcat]

I appreciate your reply. But for my whole life I’ve been gifted & my spirituality is all I’ve ever known. I also have struggled with mental health & suicidiality and it’s always been able to be fixed or eased in one way or another. This is something different. Its not even just about witchcraft it’s about energy work, that connection, which I did even as a kid without knowing what it was. I intuitively know this cannot be fixed, no one can help me in any other way, not any older healers either, as I have many in my life who have truly tried. I appreciate the reply, but I do know what I am talking about. There isn’t a way to fix this unless I could genuinely undo things so that’s why I am looking to cease the suffering so I don’t have to endure the horrors that I intuitively see coming for the next many decades.

Outside perspective...

Have you tried severing the connection to the suffering? Not fix the pain. But severing the connection to it. Like the ability to feel the suffering? A wall if you will. I'm reminded if supernatural where Sam in the show his soul is shredded by being tortured in hell by the devil himself. Death puts up a wall to block him from that pain. He told Sam not to scratch that wall it didn't end well but this is real life not a show.

I'm thinking...if you can't fix the pain then maybe doing a spell to ease that pain to bareable levels like block it could help. Like put away the pain not so it's fully gone but enough you can bare it. As time goes on you can introduce more if that pain to be processed as you learn more coping skills to be able to deal and possibly fix things.

Death doesn't seem like the answer if some part wants to live

 

[marierose24]

Outside perspective...

Have you tried severing the connection to the suffering? Not fix the pain. But severing the connection to it. Like the ability to feel the suffering? A wall if you will. I'm reminded if supernatural where Sam in the show his soul is shredded by being tortured in hell by the devil himself. Death puts up a wall to block him from that pain. He told Sam not to scratch that wall it didn't end well but this is real life not a show.

I'm thinking...if you can't fix the pain then maybe doing a spell to ease that pain to bareable levels like block it could help. Like put away the pain not so it's fully gone but enough you can bare it. As time goes on you can introduce more if that pain to be processed as you learn more coping skills to be able to deal and possibly fix things.

Death doesn't seem like the answer if some part wants to live

Yes, I have. It’s not really pain. It’s only suffering because my consciousness is very damaged & so it affects EVERYTHING. Absolutely nothing helps or offers any relief. Whether that be energy work, anxiety meds, exercise, sleep, etc.

 

[voidcat]

Yes, I have. It’s not really pain. It’s only suffering because my consciousness is very damaged & so it affects EVERYTHING. Absolutely nothing helps or offers any relief. Whether that be energy work, anxiety meds, exercise, sleep, etc.

Understood. I'm going to back out this thread. It's out of my wheelhouse. I don't got any advice and I just worry about if part of you wants to live death may not be the answer. That's why I asked about alternatives. Since you know your situation I don't understand enough to ease your pain and it feels too hard for me to think about this because I see myself in you. I see someone with a lot of potential whose mind doesn't want their life to end but is suffering a lot and has tried everything they can. This makes me want to give you a reason to live. Since you want to. And you seek death to relieve pain that I don't know enough on to help you solve so you don't have to die.

Because of this I'm stepping out of this thread and wish you peace.

 

[marierose24]

Understood. I'm going to back out this thread. It's out of my wheelhouse. I don't got any advice and I just worry about if part of you wants to live death may not be the answer. That's why I asked about alternatives. Since you know your situation I don't understand enough to ease your pain and it feels too hard for me to think about this because I see myself in you. I see someone with a lot of potential whose mind doesn't want their life to end but is suffering a lot and has tried everything they can. This makes me want to give you a reason to live. Since you want to. And you seek death to relieve pain that I don't know enough on to help you solve so you don't have to die.

Because of this I'm stepping out of this thread and wish you peace.

I really do appreciate you. It’s moreso my soul and highest self knows there could have been more but my mind in this earthly body is too broken & there is nothing more that can be done to fix that. Take care

 

[voidcat]

I really do appreciate you. It’s moreso my soul and highest self knows there could have been more but my mind in this earthly body is too broken & there is nothing more that can be done to fix that. Take care

I will say if you do go through with this and those are your dogs in the photo you'll need to find a good home for them. Make sure they dont pass or get hurt because there's no one to care for them.

I don't think you should end your life but I can't help you here. So at the least I'm going to say you need to make sure the dogs are cared for.

 

[marierose24]

I will say if you do go through with this and those are your dogs in the photo you'll need to find a good home for them. Make sure they dont pass or get hurt because there's no one to care for them.

They are my mother’s dogs. I would never be so selfish as to not think of a pet’s needs…

 

[voidcat]

They are my mother’s dogs. I would never be so selfish as to not think of a pet’s needs…

I didn't think you would be. Just I would be irresponsible to not bring them up because I do not know you.

 

[Wintruz]

Please do not judge. This is not a spur of the moment emotional upset. I thank you in advance for your time, reading this, & if you have any info or advice to offer. I’d like to start by saying I have tried absolutely everything else, whether it be spiritual, “medical/psychological help”, etc. including even trying to induce death through meditation. I have had many out of body experiences and have often felt annoyed that my body is tethered to the earth, preventing me from truly being ascended/free. At the same time, I always struggled balancing being grounded on earth and completely up in the astral plane, but I feel as though I have messed that balance up beyond repair and now my consciousness has been suffering immensely. I don’t think my highest self wants me to die but I am in, what feels like, hell. I don’t know what to do. I’d just like to start over, whichever way that may be. The entire year it’s though I have been completely blocked & things are truly at a point of no return; irreparable. The damage to this current body/mind is too severe. I would say I’m to blame for some of it but I also felt as though some outside factors contributed that were out of my control, keeping me from reaching my highest potential. I am advanced in energy work and Reiki, and even that, it will not fix or even touch the situation. My spirit and soul are stuck because of this, it feels like. They want to live, but there is just no way. I am looking to induce a fast, painless, peaceful ceasing of existence (or this specific existence) for myself. I have thought about “ending it” in a straightforward way but I have not because I have had the STRONG feeling that it would not work & would leave me worse off, that I am not meant to go yet. I don’t know if this can be altered because there is no chance for happiness, peace or stability anymore. I am 101% certain that “time” will not heal this. I am 23 years old and have been a practicing witch/spiritualist since I was 16 years old. I am not new to this. I am not looking to cause harm to anyone else, nor anymore suffering to myself. I am seeking peace, it’s all I want. Things have gone too wrong for some reasons in my control, & some out of. There is no chance for me to heal enough to live a life thats worth it, on this timeline, in this body, anymore. Unless I can genuinely go back in time & do things differently, this seems to be my only choice to avoid unimaginable suffering until it’s my time to go on this timeline.

I was thinking about & looking into using a poppet of myself to induce a passing. I have never done this type of work before. I don’t have access to yarn or fabrics- so I was wondering if this could be done with paper, maybe stapling two cutouts together, or a preexisting doll or stuffed animal, with the intention that it’s me. I was thinking about removing the parts that keep it alive, the “brainstem” & “heart”. Any practitioners who work with death, please provide me with information or instructions on how I might safely do this. Even if its not with the poppet i am open to anything else. I have never worked with death before. I am looking for it to be as fast & painless as possible & of course peaceful without any negative karmic repercussions. I am just wanting to ease suffering. I also have heard about involving dirt from a graveyard in this spell. I am unsure how to go about this in terms of how I would set this all up & ensure it brings a painless ceasing without more suffering. Do I put certain things inside of the “doll”? How do I activate it? Do I need certain ingredients, etc.?

Thank you for reading & thanks for your responses. 🩵

-Marie

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 1:54 AM

I also want to make it known that I have not worked with or purposefully ever invoked any demons. I have begged for help from God, confessed any “sins” that I may have done- & I am in the same place still.

As I said to a recent acolyte threatening to make his exit: "Why kill yourself? There are so many others to get to first". In all seriousness...

What makes you presume that killing your body would halt the energies that are attached to you and working their way out in your life? Why do you think that "starting over" is even an option?

If you believe there's something more than this (and you talk of "negative karmic repercussions" so I presume you do), practically every tradition the world has ever known says that you carry the lessons with you until you face them. There's no reset. There's no opt out. They're not attached to your body. The longer you don't face the lessons you've been given, the harder they become. I don't know what your specific challenges are, though your talk about "highest potential" sounds like you are labouring under a false idea of what your life should be like (we're not here for happiness, stability, social success or fun - we're here to Work). However, I do know that it will take less energy to say to yourself "I will face this now, get it over and done with and do the best I can with the hand that I've been dealt" than it will take to try to run, only to be brought back to the same pattern again and again.

There is also a possibility that your longing for death is actually a sign from your highest self, not to kill your body, but to kill your ego. If you can do that, you can contend with your lessons without them bothering you.

My advice? Set aside the practices and the internet for a while. Turn down the noise. Engage in some serious physical self-care and then write down an action plan for tackling your challenges one by one.

I wish you strength and love for your journey.

 

[marierose24]

As I said to a recent acolyte threatening to make his exit: "Why kill yourself? There are so many others to get to first". In all seriousness...

What makes you presume that killing your body would halt the energies that are attached to you and working their way out in your life? Why do you think that "starting over" is even an option?

If you believe there's something more than this (and you talk of "negative karmic repercussions" so I presume you do), practically every tradition the world has ever known says that you carry the lessons with you until you face them. There's no reset. There's no opt out. They're not attached to your body. The longer you don't face the lessons you've been given, the harder they become. I don't know what your specific challenges are, though your talk about "highest potential" sounds like you are labouring under a false idea of what your life should be like (we're not here for happiness, stability, social success or fun - we're here to Work). However, I do know that it will take less energy to say to yourself "I will face this now, get it over and done with and do the best I can with the hand that I've been dealt" than it will take to try to run, only to be brought back to the same pattern again and again.

There is also a possibility that your longing for death is actually a sign from your highest self, not to kill your body, but to kill your ego. If you can do that, you can contend with your lessons without them bothering you.

My advice? Set aside the practices and the internet for a while. Turn down the noise. Engage in some serious physical self-care and then write down an action plan for tackling your challenges one by one.

I wish you strength and love for your journey.

I thank you for your input. I’d like to say that I did kill my ego already. I think so much of what got me to this point is that I ascended so much that I became almost disinterested with this earthly existence. My entire life had been challenges so this is not me wanting the easy way out. I always loved the challenge, the transforming, the transmuting. There is no challenge really other than the fact that my consciousness is irreparably broken for several reasons. I am unable to live I am just suffering everyday. I have tried it all. Especially all forms of self care.

 

[Lurker]

I recall long ago when I was in my early twenties, I went to bed one night in a suicidal depression over a variety of things that seemed irreparable. If I had owned a gun, I'm sure I would have shot myself in the head.

The next morning I woke up laughing, and laughing and laughing and laughing. I don't know why, but something apparently came to me in my sleep and made me appreciate the cosmic joke of life.

Choose life.

 

[IllusiveOwl]

You think too much of yourself. You are 23, your brain has not even fully developed yet. Yes, you may be far along the path for your age, imagine what you could possibly be when you turn 40. All of nature has conspired to generate the specific events to create you in your specific circumstances.

You are under the illusion that your consciousness is irreparably broken, this is incorrect, just to be blunt with you. You're wrong about that. Get it out of your head. That's illusion speaking, not light.

Suffering the the greatest and most transformative gift you can be given, I would argue it's why you're here in that meat suit. You are like a blade being burned, hammered, sharpened by experience. The pain may feel like it will last forever, but it won't. Just because you can't fathom the end doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is a process, and by the time it is finished, you will be a powerful, fierce, and uniquely powerful being. If you hit the eject-button early, the process will be unfinished, and you will move on weaker for it. You're going to die, that is guaranteed, and you don't have to do a thing to welcome it, it will come on it's own.

Your work here simply isn't done. Ending it prematurely is not the way to go, in fact wanting to die each day is a great strength, it allows you to live each day free, unafraid of it being your last. Suffering of that degree is also the key to one of the greatest doors you have clearly yet to open, given this degree of depression. I won't spoil it for you.

Perhaps now would be the time to read the Bhagavad Gita. Arjuna also lost the will to fight in the miserable battle of life, much like you.

 

[marierose24]

I recall long ago when I was in my early twenties, I went to bed one night in a suicidal depression over a variety of things that seemed irreparable. If I had owned a gun, I'm sure I would have shot myself in the head.

The next morning I woke up laughing, and laughing and laughing and laughing. I don't know why, but something apparently came to me in my sleep and made me appreciate the cosmic joke of life.

Choose life.

This is just insensitive, I’m sorry. Just because that was your experience does not mean it is mine. I have been in the same spot for 8 months.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 5:28 AM

it’s quite frustrating that people think they know my situation better than I do.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 5:30 AM

You think too much of yourself. You are 23, your brain has not even fully developed yet. Yes, you may be far along the path for your age, imagine what you could possibly be when you turn 40. All of nature has conspired to generate the specific events to create you in your specific circumstances.

You are under the illusion that your consciousness is irreparably broken, this is incorrect, just to be blunt with you. You're wrong about that. Get it out of your head. That's illusion speaking, not light.

Suffering the the greatest and most transformative gift you can be given, I would argue it's why you're here in that meat suit. You are like a blade being burned, hammered, sharpened by experience. The pain may feel like it will last forever, but it won't. Just because you can't fathom the end doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is a process, and by the time it is finished, you will be a powerful, fierce, and uniquely powerful being. If you hit the eject-button early, the process will be unfinished, and you will move on weaker for it. You're going to die, that is guaranteed, and you don't have to do a thing to welcome it, it will come on it's own.

Your work here simply isn't done. Ending it prematurely is not the way to go, in fact wanting to die each day is a great strength, it allows you to live each day free, unafraid of it being your last. Suffering of that degree is also the key to one of the greatest doors you have clearly yet to open, given this degree of depression. I won't spoil it for you.

Perhaps now would be the time to read the Bhagavad Gita. Arjuna also lost the will to fight in the miserable battle of life, much like you.

Well I’ve been through depression for many years and a huge list of other diagnoses. Most of that is what propelled my spiritual journeys and awakenings. This is different. Each moment is hell. I don’t even feel hunger. I can never rest. There isn’t anything that brings relief even for a moment. You don’t really know what you’re talking about.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 5:31 AM

When I asked for advice I meant on how to go about doing what I was asking. Not people trying to tell me I don’t know myself. Thanks anyway. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

 

[Yazata]

Please read the rules and etiquettes. You are discussing illegal actions. Thread closed. Thank you to everyone reporting