i once experienced the void, my only memory from any of the times i died between death and conciousness... i was in my "self-body", kind of in a cocoon or womb type energy bubble, but i remember just being in aw of the complete and utter nothingness.... and feeling so, so, so, SO deeply at peace... a type of rest id never felt before. it was just blackness, i have a vague impression of a tron-like black grid of nothingness.... but in the moment it was just profound peace and quiet. When i came to, surround by paramedics, i realized i was already well in to a diatribe cursing the paramedics to hell - "why?? why??? why did you bring me back?? you fucking bastards" type attitude....
it always tripped me out that i
experienced ----nothingness---- seems impossible.
skip to the emoji

if you dont want to hear me over-explain you through the void and back
Another time, after years of compoundingly worse night terrors resulting in me almost dying of lack of sleep/malnutrition, i had a big ol dose of Oxytocin (not to be mistaken for oxycodone) that reshaped my entire reality and kicked off this process of awakening, knowledge and contact contact with my spirit guides, etc all came around this period....
Like i said, night terrors, life threatening sleep disorders, until this dream (a series of them, very vivid)
long story short i ended up building some kind of giant machine with all the archetypes of different hood characters... and we're in this weird forest/industrial area racing to build a giant machine out of vinyl records, old rave classics, when the police show up...
I remember they were like "you guys gotta get outta here" and i just went immediately to compliance, my mind was all. "yes sir. ok, cops say we gotta go guys, lets pack it up" - which is just SO not me, quite the opposite - and then this dykey punk lady was like "fuck no, fuck you!" and i snapped out of it like "jesus christ what hte fuck was i thinking, fuck these cops" and we proceeded to fight them, wooping their ass before they flooded the whole valley to get rid of us, but not before we built the thing.... oh yeah there was contact with a very cliche racist depiction of a native medicin man who had brought me a gift... it was a roll of heavy canvas fabric, and it had been soaked in astral-realm-quality LSD... and a medicine bundle...
Anyways, when i was coming out of the dream, usually i'll just suddenly realize im awake, and was dreaming previously. This time, i entered a sort of liminal space in between, but there was an in between these spaces where i felt like i was physically floating from one plane to another... and i hear in a booming voice (my own internal dialogue, as opposed to an external character like other experiences) say something along the lines of "sacred healing grounds, powerful medicine dream" or some shit; and i was like damn ok cool




and heres "void" number two
next thing i know i'm in an all white space, with three entities, but their shrouded by a brilliant light emanating from them, but i recognize a humanoid form, and an intense familiarity. the only visible thing besides these creatures was a giant bonfire, which we were dancing around in a ritual-trance-ceremony, a very sacred one.
i instantly recognized thta i had either been here
thousands upon thousands of times - OR - i was there, always, eternally, ritually dancing around the fire with these other characters... i often long to find myself there again. maybe stay, even.
anyways yo ucan see how different it was from the other void i experienced, in that it wasnt actually a void... there was fire, and light. but then again, there was some kind of structural... thing in the void too... but that may be me painting old memories with my own brush