When Was the Last Time Magick Cracked You Open?

[FireBorn]

When was the last time magick left you in wonder, in awe?

What was it? A ritual? A spell? An experience? What cracked you open most recently?

What did you walk away with? How did it change you, or didnt?

 

[StarOfSitra]

I especially remember one event that you could say was canonical. It happened about 13 years ago. I was rigorously practicing from Franz Bardon's manual, Initiation into Hermetics—which, for those who don't know it, is a book of daily exercises, a theoretical-practical guide divided into phases. Every day, there are physical, mental, and psychic exercises that must be practiced until mastered, for weeks, months, years...

I was practicing psychic exercises on the transmutation of consciousness into inherent objects (it sounds spectacular, but it's almost at the beginning, which shows the high level of commitment required). I collapsed from exhaustion and went to sleep; well, the strange part came when I woke up. I started to feel as if my consciousness was connected to my body by a thread, with me being distant, like a puppeteer controlling a body—or, to use a modern example, as if I were playing a video game and controlling my body with a controller.

That made me ponder many things about the reality we live in, but it also produced tremendous paranoia in me. I stayed like that for several days until, finally, I decided to burn the book. I know it wasn't a super wise decision because it was a good book, but at that time, it seemed very dangerous to me.

 

[FireBorn]

This is the kind of answer I was hoping this thread would pull. Thank you for that!

 

[AbammonTheGreat]

I'm currently in the middle of an initiation into Thoth-Mercury which is involving a lot of kabbalah, astrology, and spirit conjuration. Slowly I have been collecting sigils for this multiplicity of celestial spirits and my medium has been doing a lot of autowriting in which she hands me symbols that just randomly come to her. I don't really "try" to crack any codes I just record the information that comes to me and her in our sessions.

About two months ago I was looking at a star map and noticed a star cluster that looked a lot like one of the sigils I had collected and overlaid it onto the star map. It was a perfect match, and not only a perfect match but in the exact place in the sky the relevant planet had to be in in order to conjure the spirit that gave me the sigil. This kicked off a little bit of a manic episode where I spent a few days digging through our grimoires and overlaying all the sigils I had collected onto a star map. I found that these sigils I had been, and my medium had been, collecting were actually star clusters based around Arabic indicator stars. This really kind of floored me as even in accepting the reality of spirits these kind of experiences are like being slapped across the face with the strangeness of the cosmos. It messed with me psychologically a little bit and during the comedown a friend forwarded an 11th century Arabic grimoire on talismanic alphabets. Within the grimoire I found many of the same sigils we had been collecting, which further pointed out to me that not only were we extracting some kind of communication with the stars during our sessions but that other magicians in history have had the same experience as us.

Its a combination of beautiful synchronicity, being smacked by the hermetic axiom, and also this strange mixture of awe and fear at the magnitude of just what exactly we're engaging with in magic. These experiences reinvigorate and humble me on the path. Something I like to say to people is "if your magic doesn't scare the shit out of you, are you even doing magic?".

 

[Fr. Maximagus]

well this doesn’t seem real earth shattering but reading it was a huge lightbulb moment for me (Though for the life of me can’t remember where I read it)
“An advanced practitioner of magick has his intent synchronized with manifestation. Thus they are as much a product of magick as the magick they perform“

that blew my mind and has continued to since, when you realize you actually BECOME your magick lol pretty cool imo

 

[FireBorn]

First, I want to thank you all for sharing what you shared. This is awesome, and super interesting. Real experiences, and it matters.

My turn to step into the circle. I had two experiences that left me in awe very recently. One not sharing openly, the other is as follows:

I was meditating one day, moving my energy (my fire) through my body as one does. I start with heart and go up, then back to heart and go down (this helps me avoid stirring Kundalini energy by accident). Anyway, I moved my energy up and light up my throat, 3rd eye and crown, really got em humming. Before I could think about it, my energy went lateral. Out from my heart to each side, like all by itself. I didn't do that. I'm not saying it was like wings, just fire burning over my head on each side (wings would be cool though lol). I cant visualize, I just felt my energy hot af on each side. Just a full circle of fire around me that I could see with my minds eye. Then it dawns on me, this fire IS me. Speechless. Total awe. Finished moving my energy down to the root and my whole body was light up, I mean really lit up! It felt like nothing else. Like I am the fucking magick. Hard to put into words without sounding ridiculous (or more than I already have).

I looked it up later to see wtf it was. Oh cool. Its a thing (thank fuck, I'm not losing it). What do I do with this awesome thing? No clue, I dont follow a system of what do with this sort of thing. Downside? I have no fucking clue. Up side? I dont have any stupid rules or dogmas blocking me. Luckily I have group of friends decades into this stuff from different currents who can tell me where I'm retarded and what it is, we have a good laugh and its helpful.


I am constantly amazed how magick works in my life. I am not super interested in how it works mechanically, just enough to keep doing it.




Lastly, for the Real Ones out there, I know you are there. This thread is for you, respectfully.

 

[Morell]

I especially remember one event that you could say was canonical. It happened about 13 years ago. I was rigorously practicing from Franz Bardon's manual, Initiation into Hermetics—which, for those who don't know it, is a book of daily exercises, a theoretical-practical guide divided into phases. Every day, there are physical, mental, and psychic exercises that must be practiced until mastered, for weeks, months, years...

I was practicing psychic exercises on the transmutation of consciousness into inherent objects (it sounds spectacular, but it's almost at the beginning, which shows the high level of commitment required). I collapsed from exhaustion and went to sleep; well, the strange part came when I woke up. I started to feel as if my consciousness was connected to my body by a thread, with me being distant, like a puppeteer controlling a body—or, to use a modern example, as if I were playing a video game and controlling my body with a controller.

That made me ponder many things about the reality we live in, but it also produced tremendous paranoia in me. I stayed like that for several days until, finally, I decided to burn the book. I know it wasn't a super wise decision because it was a good book, but at that time, it seemed very dangerous to me.

What was the name of the book? Sounds worth having.

 

[StarOfSitra]

What was the name of the book? Sounds worth having.

Initiation into Hermetics from Franz Bardon.

 

[Morell]

Initiation into Hermetics from Franz Bardon.

Wow, I was actually guessing that it could be that one. Never dreamed though, that it could get so out of hand. Were you skipping lessons? (I know I would to get to the cool stuff)

 

[StarOfSitra]

Wow, I was actually guessing that it could be that one. Never dreamed though, that it could get so out of hand. Were you skipping lessons? (I know I would to get to the cool stuff)

No, I wasn’t skipping any of the classes, and I was practicing everything strictly. If you skip classes and go straight to the “interesting” or more advanced parts, you won’t get anywhere; daily training is what allows you to build the level needed to progress. Going straight to the advanced stuff is like asking a random person on the street to lift 300 kilos — they won’t be able to, no matter how much they want to, because they don’t have the training for it.

 

[Morell]

No, I wasn’t skipping any of the classes, and I was practicing everything strictly. If you skip classes and go straight to the “interesting” or more advanced parts, you won’t get anywhere; daily training is what allows you to build the level needed to progress. Going straight to the advanced stuff is like asking a random person on the street to lift 300 kilos — they won’t be able to, no matter how much they want to, because they don’t have the training for it.

Well, in that case I must say that you are pretty good to get that far with Bardon, even though it went astray in the end. Impressive work.

 

[Fr. Maximagus]

No, I wasn’t skipping any of the classes, and I was practicing everything strictly. If you skip classes and go straight to the “interesting” or more advanced parts, you won’t get anywhere; daily training is what allows you to build the level needed to progress. Going straight to the advanced stuff is like asking a random person on the street to lift 300 kilos — they won’t be able to, no matter how much they want to, because they don’t have the training for it.

what would you say you learned from it or what is the most valuable thing you learned?

 

[StarOfSitra]

what would you say you learned from it or what is the most valuable thing you learned?

One of the most revolutionary and remarkable conclusions I experienced is that our true Self is not inside the physical body as if it were made up of layers of energetic bodies, but rather outside of it, controlling the body through a kind of cord that connects to the pineal gland. This differs greatly from all esoteric beliefs that depict the human being as a layered entity, from the physical body to the spirit. This leaves a great mystery open: if I’m not here, then where am I? Who am I?

 

[sahgwa]

These are not HUGE CRACKED OPEN moments but those very deep kind of razor sly moments when you feel things outside of the norm that make you feel interesting or that you have made The Connection with the Other Side beyond the mundane.
A few times in just normal hygienic rituals like LBRH especially there have been these moments lately:

The feeling that I am outside of my body looking in, not in a full OBE projection sense, but that I am not 'in' the body, it is moving on it's own. The full sense that it is not me.

A physical sense of being held up by my wand. While I go about drawing the circle and hexagrams, the divinities that are present are moving me along just as much as I am moving myself. Not in a negative puppet sense, but elevating me. It's not just a banishing, its a connection.

Another session gravity was all off. At each quarter it was as if I was standing on a slope, and there was no real up or down, but more like I was going to fall physically through a portal through each hexagram. Like THEY were the floor/down maybe, and I was on the 'wrong side'.
Very interesting.

Then the other night I had a great 'vision' or evocation of PAN during the Star Ruby. I felt like I was him and giant, and all the Earth and forests of this planet were my legs and limbs, and all the elementals like gnomes etc were bowing down at my feet . I was Nature.

The lucky sessions are when there are those connections, or sensations. Then there are those we are all familiar with where you just feel heavy mundane and going through the motions. That is good training too I think.

And of course @StarOfSitra I agree with you, I have felt it too, our Higher Self/ HGA is MOST DEFINITELY outside of us. However , I feel a physical connection and conduit at heart/anahata chakra/tiphareth , and also in the 3 higher ones, especially anja and crown/sahasrara. Those are like the places we meet and download to our true self. Especially the heart. I think .

 

[MorganBlack]

Two of my major ones:

A full theophanic manifestation of the Goddess, and being abducted by a daimon from the Grimorium Verum and healed.

The Goddess now manifests for me as a sweetness and kindness within me, that makes life beautiful, and which will attenuate over about two weeks if I stop saying if her prayers . Not that she goes away, but the astral-etheric manifestation level is not 'hooked-up' without them . After saying her prayers, and others in that 'mythstream' She will occasional manifest as a fragrant odor of citrus and roses that lingers in our home , and that my beautiful girlfriend and I can smell and enjoy.

The healing-by-daimon-abduction, I shared , badly I admit, in the section I posted under my Joshua Cutchin book recommendation here (below) This is what an extreme theophanic manifestation can look like, if one steps into ritual, when it's time for you to, and When The Stars are Right.

Book Club - Recommended Reading List for Chao-Animist Necromancy

Chao-Animist Necromancy, my half-joke fancy name for just Traditional Western Magic and Witchcraft, with some modern adaptations. For newcomers who have not yet ambered in cruft their personal operative myths... I say start with Chaos Magic, then move into practices that make you calm and...

wizardforums.com