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With all respect: I am curious, what made you expected here on WF that there is a lot more discussion about familiars? There are occultists with familiars, but many many more without. The peeps here are so different from each other that it is almost a wonder that there is so much shared ground.
There is a familiar in my life, but it is a private thing. Just like my relation with my husband, things between him and me are private.
IDk, it's what defines a Witch in popular culture? A cat, or something? I'm rather new to all this, I just made assumptions. She didn't know any different either, I guess She wanted connection too? While She is all I have, perhaps I am all She has too? Just speculation on my part. More likely, She has more than I, She told me to join here. See, I just changed my sig, b4 your post.
Well, I'm getting really sore from lying down from the flu and fever the whole day, so let's climb out of bed for a decent answer about familiars and a little bit about what I observed here on the forum. I will not talking about my personal familiar. It is, as been said, a private thing.
First the forum, there are to my knowing only a few active witches here on WF. So there is not so much talk directly about witchcraft. There a non-witch occultists who have a familiar in their life, outside witchcraft however it is a little less common. Occultists can call demons and ask them to provide a good familiar. I don't know if that is a route worth while. Others probably can tell much more about this process, so I keep my mouth shut about that. Regarding to be present in the online community I lived under a stone for the last, let's say, 25 years. It's quite possible that on witchcraft forums there is more talk about the familiar. And regarding to defining witchcraft: most witches tend to self identify. That makes it terribly difficult to define what witchcraft it. I have engaged in discussions IRL about that, spend talking all night long on a camp fire (and in living rooms too) with the only conclusion that it is almost impossible to define witchcraft, that some witches intertwine neo-pagan religion in their praxis, that some only do spells, that some develop a complete own form of myths and stories to work with and others are secular and very local. I am in the last 'group'. With apostrophe, because there is no real group. That makes it hard to use the existence of a familiar as a proof of being a witch. It is interesting to mention that Owen Davies points out the regional nature of the familiar, since there are almost no mentions in the region of Wales, and few in northern England. The belief is strongest in East Anglia. Here in there Netherlands there were some witches with familiars. I left the scene about 18 years ago so I don't know if there are any now.
So I am a witch and will only talk about the witch side of the story, it is better not to talk about the things I am not specialized in. Over thirty years of witchcraft I have talked with quite a few witches IRL and yes we talked about familiars too. And we discussed it deeply. And that is nothing like what you can read on blogs, online articles or books. First of all to take away all the confuse: not every witch has a familiar in his or hers life. I have met peeps with and peeps without, both were fine on their path. I will give you some insights of the things we talked about in those IRL conversations. I can't share everything, some things are to private. In the above reaction, I was a little bit hars, but sometime I use that as a litmus proof to see where a person stands in a topic. And I want to know for sure that there is a genuine and deep-felt interest before I start. I think it is good to talk about, there are misconceptions and not all witches have the importunity to talk in depth with other witches IRL about this subject.
A confusing thing for outsiders: not all witches are happy to have a familiar in their life. Familiars can be quite confronting too and there are witches who can't really control their collaboration with the familiar. Familiars can lend their eyes to the witch to see things, but the witch has to be in charge in that process in most cases. If the familiar is stronger willed than the witch, things get out of control and the witch founds his/herself often 'flying'or travelling with the familiar when it is was not expected or even wished. Every witch has a mundane life too and you need be stay grounded in that. There are moments that the familiar needs to be quiet or not involved. So, to have a good workable relation with a familiar, it is quite important to have clear what you want from each other (or not). This boils down to having good agreements with each other, but the familiar is a seperate spirit. So sometimes the Familiar doesn't show up when you want it be there, and sometimes it does. So there is not something as a hundred percent control.
A thing that is never been talked about is that familiars can and will feed on you. If you give them attention, they grow stronger but they can feed themself on your being too. They can be malevolent because of taking to much from a witch. It is not always wise to be the food of your familiar, so there is another field to control. There are for example witches who forbade their familiar to be with them when they are ill or tired. It can be the other way around too: the witch is fed by the familiar which is a more beneficial process. This is something that a witch needs to figure out. You need both to know when to give or take. And there are familiars who are asking offers, sometimes physical, sometimes in acts. The exception is most always when a witch needs protection: then the familiar is there and feeds the witch, no matter how much it costs. But that will need to be fed beforehand. So there are witches feeding their familiar blood, sometimes mixed with milk of wine. That takes control over the proces of feeding, because of the witch decides when to feed, why to feed and how much to feed. I can't really talk about how much and when I feed, but I tend to feed in other ways too: selfmade objects with certain metals and oils in it. But still, the blood offer is there every once and a while.
Another misconception: a familiar is not always an animal. It can live in a humanoid shape also, or a fable spirit, a plant or hence even presents as an object. And, it can change it's shape if it wants. It can ask to change it's name also. The latter is reality when a familiar became stronger and more wise. Witches I talked with, revealed that this was an interesting and intense process. I recognize that as well, the familiar is not so easy satisfied with a new name.
About the malevolent side of familiars, not everything what the familiar shows the witch is worth while. They can be really tricksters also. That is not because they are eager to do so. That is because of the process of absorbing information, which is not always an easy task for them. Or it happens when a witch is not clear enough. There are witches who concluded afterwards that the information given leaded them to astray. So if a witch gets information, she still has to decide if the information fits in the patterns that she is observing or not. And if it's not, she has to discover why not. The witch has to decide, not the familiar. And if the information didn't fit in the pattern all the time, the witch should train herself to give better prompts or commands in order to get better information.
Familiars are sometimes part of a family, if there are more people who are working with magic and the unseen. From first hand experience: not every member of a family wants to use it's abilities. A familiar wont show up to them by then. They can be given away to another family member, however I heard of cases that the familiar was not really cooperative. ... I don't think every human has a familiar. A lot of peeps would feel disgusted about the idea that they possibly could have one. Most of the people in the western world are not in the occult or even involved in religions that disavow and hate occultism. And for occultists in general, having a familiar is still not for everyone. Which is true for everything in magic because everyone has his/hers own path. One teaching about that I got in real life: place an object somewhere and draw a big circle around it and let people stand on a place on that line where they feel comfortable. Give them a pen and a piece of paper and let write about what they see in the middle of the circle. You will get as many observations as you have people. That was my first group lesson about the occult and still think it is the best one I ever encountered.
Then about being private about the relationship one haves with the familiar. There are good reasons for it. Information is power. That is in the occult world as it is in the mundane world. Giving to much information can be used against the witch or against the familiar. another thing i already covered, a lot of witches feed their familiar which makes that the familiar has parts of the powers of the witch in its being. You don't want to water down that powers. And what I personally find disturbing: if people know to much about your magic, things get attached to your magic that you are not expecting which affects the outcome. So there is a lot in to keep silent. That is why I, mostly, only speak in retrogade about my magic processes or share only the methods and rituals that I did a lot of years ago. Even about the feeding I was not completely honest, because i have found another way to feed that I won't share here or in DM.
So, I think I gave a lot if insights for the ones who are in search of information about the witch familiar.
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A thing to add: it can be really good to have a special diary wherein one writes about the interaction with the familiar. that prevents a little bit of the take-over in control that familiairs can do, it is way be in charge of everything. One need be aware of how to ground the information you got from the familiar into your praxis and writing and reading contributes to that. But it still needs some discernment.
Saved, for a good long read offline. But a few points. I do journal, I have stacks and stacks of them. My Familiar journals too. It's a trip to watch.
She has specified clear and firm boundaries about what I can and can't share about her. Many, many boundaries. Know the Geas? (I'm under one.)
I’m glad this thread exists. I don’t have a familiar myself, but I’ve always wanted one because they will be one of your most loyal spirits you work with. If your familiar nudged you to join WF, I’d take that seriously. Have you asked her why? Whether it’s someone you’re meant to meet here, or something specific you’re meant to learn?
I actually ended up here by accident. I was looking for something completely different and wasn’t searching for an occult forum at all, but I don’t think it was a coincidence. It felt like one of those moments where you’re nudged to do something for a reason, so I decided to register.
Familiars are spirits that wanting to help you. That support can be about your practice, everyday life, or both. Whatever it is, they’d go the extra mile for you. They could teach you magick too if you so wish to learn from them. They can help with developing psychic senses if those aren’t open yet. That’s also one of the reasons why in some practicing families, children may be introduced to a familiar or two early on. Often in a form the child connects with, like a bird, cat, or dog, etc. So the familiar can help them develop their senses sooner.
I know some of this differs from what AlfrunGrima shared, but I’ll add my perspective anyway. I don’t see familiars as feeding on you. If anything, they do the opposite, and they can help give you an extra energy boost when you’re run down. Familiars are always creature looking spirits, they don’t change their shape or tend to manifest as something else other than what they look like.
If a familiar isn’t cooperative with someone else in the same family, it doesn’t always mean anything bad. It can simply be that the person is on a different path and would be better guided by a different familiar. Familiars can resist being pushed into working with someone they haven’t chosen.
In general, I think the best approach is to stay communicative with your familiar and keep checking in. That will teach you more than general opinions ever will about familiars.
I’m glad this thread exists. I don’t have a familiar myself, but I’ve always wanted one because they will be one of your most loyal spirits you work with. If your familiar nudged you to join WF, I’d take that seriously. Have you asked her why? Whether it’s someone you’re meant to meet here, or something specific you’re meant to learn?
Yes, I know exactly why. I've been isolated; emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually for months. True, I can leave and go out in public,
unlike someone in solitary confinement, be with other human beings, but connecting? A different matter. Smiles don't reach eyes,
conversation is purposeful but shallow. I'm still alone. She, to her credit, tried her best to help me, introduced me to other Fae.
That helped for a bit, but my perceptions and attitudes and outlook shifted. Fae, even those who help you, are not human.
They have a different reality with different priorities, attitudes, and outlooks. And when I started adopting those into my own world view,
she called an end to that. 'Go touch grass', go be with humans. Easier said than done, in my case. I have no friends. No family (anymore).
It gets worse, but that should be enough. I may need those Fae connections again, regardless. Friday nights I fully channel Her. I'll find out then.
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I've not been able to read AlfrunGrima post yet, had to deal with car trouble so necessary to go get vital life-sustaining meds.
Too tired now to try, my Familiar has told me to 'back off' here, sage advice, I tend to annoy humans excessively.
Not annoying me if thats any consolation. If you want back off from here thats chill. But I get it isolation can make in my expierence trying to interact with people hard.
I know some of this differs from what AlfrunGrima shared, but I’ll add my perspective anyway. I don’t see familiars as feeding on you. If anything, they do the opposite, and they can help give you an extra energy boost when you’re run down. Familiars are always creature looking spirits, they don’t change their shape or tend to manifest as something else other than what they look like.
It your good right to see it different. You do you. And I appreciated that you want to help the OP, so kudos for that. But if you haven't a familiar yourself and are not in the practice, how do you know about that? You never experienced it. If you always wanted a familiar, like you expressed above, the best option is to be open for all kinds of experiences and not limiting yourself to the thoughts you have about a subject. Everyone who had the chance to work with spirits, can tell you that there are a lot of things happened to their surprise.
And yes, when you run down they give you an extra boost but there are some things that people with familiars experienced that are simply are there. The feeding thing is not only something that me and other witches have experienced (most to their surprise, they didn't know before there was a familiar in there life) it is known from historical records too. The feeding thing, is not a negative thing. The familiar needs some of your essence to be able to work with you life long, it needs to keep itself alive. It is not a parasite thing, a familiar asks not for more if it doesn't need it. Only the timing can be a little bit awkward sometimes and it is there were the witch sets her boundaries. A familiar is spirit and can't always feel or understand how it is to be in a human body and a human mind. A spirit is a spirit, a human is a human. Indeed what @Sedim Haba says, spirits have a different reality with different attitudes and a different outlook.
The feeding thing is a working and being together proces that can be quite intimate and even beautiful too. It is as intimate as sex and it is feeding each other. That being said, there are tons of ways to feed the creature, attention and communication are the most important. And some parts of the feeding happens on a subconscious level, so it is not say that all witches are aware of a creature taking their essence.
They are not always creature looking spirits, there were and are witches with familiars that are not look like a creature. Those object like spirits do exactly the same for the witch as the creature like spirits and those witches have the same experiences as the witches with the creature like familiars. They had the experience and it was to their surprise. (Interesting enough outside witchcraft there are people experiencing sometimes exact the same things with a diety, Lilith is more often mentioned in this)
And yes, they TRY to help you. But they are not ALL knowing creatures who always know what is the best for you. They provide the witch with information, but you still have to be clear about things. As mentioned, there have been witches who reported that they had gone astray. That is not because the familiars did want to harm, but the witch who had be better in deciding things. (All occult practice needs some discernment from time to time, that is nothing new) And not every witch is in control with the proces, and that can be a thing in every occult proces. Seasoned occult practicioners have seen a thing or two of people who got in trouble.
There are in any occult proces darker sides. Like the Geas and the boundaries @Sedim Haba expressed about her familiar, it is simply there. Better to not deny the darker sides.
Yes, I know exactly why. I've been isolated; emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually for months. True, I can leave and go out in public,
unlike someone in solitary confinement, be with other human beings, but connecting? A different matter. Smiles don't reach eyes,
conversation is purposeful but shallow. I'm still alone. She, to her credit, tried her best to help me, introduced me to other Fae.
That helped for a bit, but my perceptions and attitudes and outlook shifted. Fae, even those who help you, are not human.
They have a different reality with different priorities, attitudes, and outlooks. And when I started adopting those into my own world view,
she called an end to that. 'Go touch grass', go be with humans. Easier said than done, in my case. I have no friends. No family (anymore).
It gets worse, but that should be enough. I may need those Fae connections again, regardless. Friday nights I fully channel Her. I'll find out then.
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I've not been able to read AlfrunGrima post yet, had to deal with car trouble so necessary to go get vital life-sustaining meds.
Too tired now to try, my Familiar has told me to 'back off' here, sage advice, I tend to annoy humans excessively.
I thought of something that might help. Writing might be a good way to get creativity out. It doesn't involve a lot of people so the social pressure isn't there.
Then can post stories online or keep them to yourself. That might help. But thats just a suggestion don't have if you don't want to.
It seems like you assumed I’m not a practitioner, which I am. And just because I don’t have a familiar doesn’t mean I don’t have experience with them. I simply don’t feel the need to work with one, and there’s a difference.
As for familiars, they’re always creature like. If they aren’t creature looking spirits, they aren’t familiars, they are of a different race that get misidentified as a familiar. And a lot of those other types aren’t particularly benevolent and may require “feedings.” Simply because they just see humans as free food. That’s why some people report similar experiences when they think they’re interacting with Lilith, when they actually aren’t. Their energy is being taken by someone else that they thought was Lilith.
At this point, I don’t think there’s much value in me continuing the conversation, since you’ve already formed an impression of me that doesn’t reflect who I am.
It your good right to see it different. You do you. And I appreciated that you want to help the OP, so kudos for that. But if you haven't a familiar yourself and are not in the practice, how do you know about that? You never experienced it. If you always wanted a familiar, like you expressed above, the best option is to be open for all kinds of experiences and not limiting yourself to the thoughts you have about a subject. Everyone who had the chance to work with spirits, can tell you that there are a lot of things happened to their surprise.
Yes, I know exactly why. I've been isolated; emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually for months. True, I can leave and go out in public,
unlike someone in solitary confinement, be with other human beings, but connecting? A different matter. Smiles don't reach eyes,
conversation is purposeful but shallow. I'm still alone. She, to her credit, tried her best to help me, introduced me to other Fae.
That helped for a bit, but my perceptions and attitudes and outlook shifted. Fae, even those who help you, are not human.
They have a different reality with different priorities, attitudes, and outlooks. And when I started adopting those into my own world view,
she called an end to that. 'Go touch grass', go be with humans. Easier said than done, in my case. I have no friends. No family (anymore).
It gets worse, but that should be enough. I may need those Fae connections again, regardless. Friday nights I fully channel Her. I'll find out then.
I’ve worked with faes, and their traditions are completely different from many other spirits. Spirits in general already have very different worldviews, but the faes are on an entirely different wavelength. And in my experience, they’ve been very positive.
So if your familiar introduced you to the fae, it might be worth exploring a connection with them. I hope your channeling session helps you learn more.
At this point, I don’t think there’s much value in me continuing the conversation, since you’ve already formed an impression of me that doesn’t reflect who I am.
It was not clear from your first post, so excuse for that. There are people coming to the forum with no experience and presenting what they have read as their experience. It is not always easy to distinguish, except when people have a long and detailed introduction post. I have tried to be in earlier discussions here on WF on the safe side and laid back, but that didn't work also.
But there are practitioners with different experiences, so were the witches I talked over years with and so were my experiences. I am not saying I am the best expert in the field, because there aren't. It is not a yes or no, every experience is valid as it is. Different traditions can have different names for the same kind of thing and classify things different. So that is, why I am always open to more options. So yes, I am open for the creature like familiars, the diety like familiars and the object like familiars. No one has the complete map, three blind man touching an elephant will tell you different stories.
Interesting to say: historian Emma Wilby did study the phenomena into detail. I started to read her information last year and never did before. The most things of what she discovered, was matching my experineces and that of the witches I had the chance to talk with. In the time (1998, according to my diary) we talked about this stuff, the research of Emma was not presented in books or the internet yet. I think Emma Wilby can be a quite interesting author to read, but I don't have the titles of her books on top of my mind. Yups, I read books, but are far from a librarian. But anyway, I recommend Emma.
But I am still a little intrigued and confused: you mentioned always to want a familiar in the first post, but in the second post you are mentioning that you simply don't feel the need to work with familiars. Isn't that contradicting?
I’ve worked with faes, and their traditions are completely different from many other spirits. Spirits in general already have very different worldviews, but the faes are on an entirely different wavelength. And in my experience, they’ve been very positive.
For your work with Fae, I have no experience, so I can't talk about. It could be worth it to make complete new topic for that, I don't think there is yet a topic where it is discussed into its tiny fine details. I think you really can add to that, so I hope you feel welcome to do that!
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Added: I see I contradicting myself as well. Emma Wilby was to so far the only author who matched the experiences, the blogs do mostly not, they are repeating just each others information.
I admit this was what I always thought a familiar to be. A lesser spirit, maybe one from one of those numerous legions. This is also the only experience I have had with familiars, temporary helpers that eventually go back to where they came from. One little crow like guy from Malphas is the most notable of these for me. Got the name and sigil from seeing it in a square, it did a couple of small tasks and then I let it go. Didn't feel a need or wish to make it a longer relationship.
