[Help] Egregore or source?

[Wannabewizard]

Right, another opportunity to look insane on a public forum.

I have a model of portable prayer I made up from evangelical chrisitanese years ago, but my intention is to petition the source, ie asking not commanding, with an incantation of thanksgiving, (basically glorifying God/source) followed buy (insert situation/emergency) request.

And through this portable prayer,
I just had and have often seen, the most blinding white light imaginable in the third eye, I mean it hurts to look at it but I cant help but see it.
And felt a pressure in the forehead along with a crackle sound of that pressure in the sinus.
I am starting to think that this really is my true power and natural light of both brain hemispheres coming together, which is was what I am after anyway.
It could even be in the HGA territory after overcoming many trials, considering the nature of my experiences and fighting to recover, and inquiring in a prophetic sense.
The effect has been kind of like an extended and incomplete inner alchemical Abramelin operation.
I have long practiced asking God/the subconscious in a sonar pinging way, queries about situations, and often found it very effective, but if comes with the risk and trouble of lying spirits who want to be the 'God'.
'Voices' are not God but God/subconscious is a voice. It's a pure place.

I think an egregore has been blocking this that can easily be confused with this light as it wants to take the credit. My visions are putting it to be this way.

I would even say this is similar to the light Paul saw on the road to damascus.
It's this kind of stuff that makes me think I should ultimatly be doing Enochian magic, if I can finish cleaning house internally I could.
So, what the heck is this light, my conciousness?

 

[armageddonz1]

If you are talking about seeing blinding white light during meditation, it is very common. There are many such experiences you will have. Seeing bright light, seeing shapes like a triangle, seeing colors, seeing an eye looking back at you, seeing light and void mix together to form a union etc. etc.

These are indicators of spiritual senses developing. But one should not focus on them, but rather focus on achieving a state of thoughtlessness.

 

[Wannabewizard]

Thoughtlessness is the basic zen, right?
The experience is akin to igniting a gaseous flame and maintaining the ignition. It is sputtering somewhat, very hot and fiery.
A lot of ego is surfacing at the same time, knowing that it is ego is a major battle, as it loves to make out that it is divine.
It sounds authentic, looks authentic, but feels wrong.
I think there is a lot of identity crisis in this as my goal is one will in healing from many fractures.

The most recent has been the Hermetic triangle/circle/square, with fire around the circle.
It's been useful for knowing where I am along a path, as I discover the meanings. It has indicators of where I am.
But there is often a false light that wants my attention at the expense of meditative growth. I stood up to it and told it to but out.
It is the same light/fire recently I had seen in vision in the kitchen blazing and filling the room with smoke. I nearly panicked and though the kitchen was on fire!

It would be easy to be distracted and call it 'god' which is what it wants, but I know better.
This is not hallucination, it is a pest from a cult long ago. I will not call anything 'god' that wants to dominate me.
I will keep meditating until it has nothing in common with me.
I may be the one who removes it at this rate, as apparently it will not go voluntarily, but what a fight.
The white light is as you say natural enough to see, but there is a temptation to boast about it, which is a trap.

 

[silencewaits]

Right, another opportunity to look insane on a public forum.

I have a model of portable prayer I made up from evangelical chrisitanese years ago, but my intention is to petition the source, ie asking not commanding, with an incantation of thanksgiving, (basically glorifying God/source) followed buy (insert situation/emergency) request.

And through this portable prayer,
I just had and have often seen, the most blinding white light imaginable in the third eye, I mean it hurts to look at it but I cant help but see it.
And felt a pressure in the forehead along with a crackle sound of that pressure in the sinus.
I am starting to think that this really is my true power and natural light of both brain hemispheres coming together, which is was what I am after anyway.
It could even be in the HGA territory after overcoming many trials, considering the nature of my experiences and fighting to recover, and inquiring in a prophetic sense.
The effect has been kind of like an extended and incomplete inner alchemical Abramelin operation.
I have long practiced asking God/the subconscious in a sonar pinging way, queries about situations, and often found it very effective, but if comes with the risk and trouble of lying spirits who want to be the 'God'.
'Voices' are not God but God/subconscious is a voice. It's a pure place.

I think an egregore has been blocking this that can easily be confused with this light as it wants to take the credit. My visions are putting it to be this way.

I would even say this is similar to the light Paul saw on the road to damascus.
It's this kind of stuff that makes me think I should ultimatly be doing Enochian magic, if I can finish cleaning house internally I could.
So, what the heck is this light, my conciousness?

I don't think this light is just an 'egregore', a word I find to be quite overused in modern magical contexts. Our brains, or psyche, use symbolic frameworks in lieu of directly perceiving what's behind those symbols. Such perception is in the realm of empathy and takes a quite of bit time to refine and be made useful. Symbolic frameworks make it easier to comprehend and then use such energies. You attempt, with these prayer-type workings, to connect with this universal power and use it to make change or receive information. You seem to have been answered or had that connection made clear in a way that you can interpret within an Abrahamic framework.

There is also something to be said about workings that take place over an extended period of time and involve connecting with a higher or divine power. They might involve prayer, fasting, purification, or other ascetic practices. One starts to become dead to or disconnected from this world in order to connect with another one. You can even see this process in the grimoire tradition, done so that the evocator can become closer to "God" and call upon that authority to evoke and command spirits. You might find it fruitful to look into the monastic practices of whatever denomation piques your interest.

That being said, I do not follow an Abrahamic tradition, so I don't have very much experience to call upon with your specific situation. In spite of that - I hope my thoughts were in some way helpful.

 

[Wannabewizard]

This is very good, thank you.
It is only very loosely Abrahamic in the essence that I am familiar with it, or at least the way I perceive it.
I don't really get involved with the religions as I once was dropped into it, but I am enjoying decoding my interpretation of the magical/esoteric of new and old testament books, which why the bible is called the spell book of god as far as I can see.
It's getting closure of many things programmed into me via 'Sunday school' learning I can use to my advantage.
It does not have to agree theologically with anything, I can see in the heart what it means to me and there is power in that. I have even written my own poems as spells based on that format.
Its kind of how Hoodoo started blending things together, that's my take on it.
I may have made a new, mildly Abrahamic religion for Autistic psychics

This seemed to an approach that worked to get around the Egregore that was bugging me, I have stood up to it and told it no.
I had for a long time a desire to know how the early church really was, and this thing was not interested in that at all, only evangelical stuff, obedience and collecting money.
So it's my way of fighting back and expanding into new Witchy things as I heal my psyche.

Going even deeper is the connection to the sympathetic and parasympathetic central nervous system problems of emotional deregulation, this is were the 'lights' seem to be affected as parts of my spiritual mastery grow.
Dislodging more spiritual blockages, for more light and exposing resistance.
I had a vision of a gold light, infront of the white light behind a door, I tool it to mean this religious thing gettting the way of my true light.

A monastic life would be a good thing for me, blending bits of stuff together, keeping my developing psychic intact. There is still earthly stuff I like to do, I choose it to be grounded, but there are times when I 'ascend the mountain' to meet with God.
In doing so, nothing else exists at that time. I think its the bliss the Yogis talk of.
I think Hermetic things kind of work that way, which I why I want to make the Psalms the basis and expand on that.
My framework would be, an Abrahamic, prophetic, bhuddic, Shamen, mixed with Witchy bits.

 

[Baranova Alya]

Это очень хорошо, спасибо.
Мне он знаком лишь в очень общих чертах, по сути, или, по крайней мере, в том, как я его воспринимаю.
Я не особо увлекаюсь религиями, как когда-то, но мне нравится расшифровывать свою интерпретацию магических/эзотерических текстов Нового и Ветхого Завета, поэтому Библию называют книгой заклинаний Бога, насколько я понимаю.
Это позволяет мне избавиться от многих вещей, запрограммированных во мне с помощью обучения в «воскресной школе», и я могу использовать это себе на пользу.
Это не обязательно должно согласовываться с чем-либо теологически, я могу видеть в сердце, что это значит для меня, и в этом есть сила. Я даже написал свои собственные стихи как заклинания, основанные на этом формате.
Это своего рода способ, которым Hoodoo начал смешивать разные вещи, вот как я это воспринимаю.
Я, возможно, создал новую, слегка авраамическую религию для аутичных экстрасенсов.:РЖУ НЕ МОГУ:

Мне показалось, что это подход, который помог обойти беспокоивший меня Эгрегор. Я выступил против него и сказал ему «нет».
У меня долгое время было желание узнать, какой на самом деле была ранняя церковь, а эта организация вообще этим не интересовалась, только евангельскими делами, послушанием и сбором денег.
Так что это мой способ дать отпор и расширить свои возможности в области ведьмовства, одновременно исцеляя свою психику.

Еще глубже прослеживается связь с проблемами симпатической и парасимпатической центральной нервной системы, связанными с эмоциональной дерегуляцией, именно здесь, по-видимому, затрагиваются «световые эффекты» по мере роста моего духовного мастерства.
Устранение большего количества духовных блоков, получение большего света и разоблачение сопротивления.
У меня было видение золотого света, на фоне белого света за дверью, я интерпретирую это как нечто религиозное, что становится путем моего истинного света.

Монашеская жизнь была бы для меня хорошим делом, смешивающим разные вещи вместе, сохраняющим мою развивающуюся психику нетронутой. Есть еще земные вещи, которые мне нравятся, я выбираю их, чтобы быть заземленными, но бывают моменты, когда я «поднимаюсь на гору», чтобы встретиться с Богом.
При этом в это время ничего больше не существует. Я думаю, это блаженство, о котором говорят йоги.
Я думаю, герметические вещи работают именно таким образом, поэтому я хочу взять за основу Псалмы и развить их.
Моя структура была бы авраамической, пророческой, буддийской, шаманской, смешанной с колдовскими элементами.

If you are still close to a church, and there is strength responding to you there. Try this ritual. To open your power, and to open your third eye. Clairvoyance. For this you will need a big thick church candle, and an icon of the “all-seeing eye”. buy the smallest one, or even print it out and just consecrate it in church. For 40 days, every morning and evening, light the candle and recite a prayer. In front of the icon. All these 40 days you must not drink alcohol. Perhaps you will succeed, the ritual is not fast, but in the real magic is not easy.


GOD BLESS, GOD HELP.

IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF THE SON AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. AMEN.

IT IS WRITTEN, “HE WHO HAS EYES, LET HIM SEE.”

BLESS THE HEAVENLY FATHER AND LET HIM SEE,

TO THE MYSTERIES OF HIS CREATION,

THAT WITH SPIRITUAL EYES YOU MAY SEE ALL THINGS.

BLESS ME, O GOOD AND MERCIFUL FATHER.

OPEN MY EYES WITH THE LIGHT OF YOUR TRUTH,

WITH THE GRACE OF INSIGHT,

LET ME SEE AND KNOW, KNOW AND UNDERSTAND.

HOLY SPIRIT, SPIRIT OF TRUTH, KING OF HEAVEN,

♪ FALL UPON ME WITH YOUR HOLY WINGS ♪

“WITH THE BREEZE OF TRUTH OVERSHADOW ME AND MOVE ME,

GIVE ME SPIRITUAL VISION AND GLORY.

I GLORIFY THEE, HEAVENLY FATHER,

GLORIFIED IN THE HOLY TRINITY FOR EVER AND EVER,

EXALTED BY THE CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM,

FATHER AND SON AND HOLY SPIRIT,

NOW AND EVER AND UNTO AGES OF AGES.

Amen.