Little bit of back story:
Ate 5 grams of mushrooms with the intention of having great time, did not took it seriously at all.
The reason I took 5 grams is because I bought 5 grams and I thought, If I split it between 1 gram and 2x 2 gram doses even though it might be more manageable, then I will never had achieved the heroic dose which is 5 grams,
Mushroom trip:
Ate 5 grams of mushrooms, put on the headphones and wrapped myself into a big thick blanket that I had.
30 minutes pass by and I feel amazing, literally euphoric, the colors are more vivid, involuntary smile took over my face, my body started feeling heavier. 10 more minutes pass by and I start seeing first signs of movement, I had TV on and the colors of my TV hitting the ceiling started to wave. It was very beautiful.
About an hour into my trip, I'm super relaxed in this super enjoyable state. And then it felt as if a got electrocuted straight into my brain (my body literally contacted), in a split second I went from laying down in deep relaxation, to sitting up and grabbing onto my head. The electrocution lasted only a split second but it left me shocked. At this second I understood that I've played around a bit too much, especially in these doses.
As this electrocution happened, the very intense visuals started happening, even when I closed my eyes.
So I close my eyes. There were these different geometric shapes spinning and moving (closest resemblance is mandalas), it was terrifying not because it was scary, but because it felt so real. I started praying my rosary. This very visual stage stopped when I had second electrocution to my brain. After which I moved into the void.
I appear in the void, no body, 360 visual of everything. And I'm still very scared, so I continued praying for God to help me. And that when this light being appeared. It was like a light source, the appearance of it was that it was made out of every color but at the end it all merged into white, it had no shape. At this point, I'm still not fully surrendered to this trip and I keep making small movements with my body in order to not be absorbed fully into this void and to have some sort of a grip on the reality.
Now I'm starting to realise that this is not going away anytime soon, and this light being keeps telling me 'relax, relax'. So I say to it (telepathically/in my mind), 'please be gentle with me'. And that's when I fully relax and submerge into this void. This entity acts like my guide. At first I started to see the stars, and the beauty of the universe (there were these galaxies with all of these different colors, green, purple, blue). I'm flying trough all of these galaxies, it was such a profound feeling, It felt peaceful.
Then I asked this entity 'tell me how the universe works', that's when we flew to this eternal library. At that point I understood that it's impossible for human brain to comprehend the complexity of the universe. That's when I saw this vision, A single leaf falling from a tree, to airplane high in the sky, to a single strand of grass moving are all interconnected somehow and that nothing is random in this universe. Absolutely nothing.
The tour of the library ended, that's when I asked the light entity the second question 'What is my purpose in life?'. Again, another vision. I appear in some woman's womb (I don't think it was my mother) as a baby. The feeling was even more peaceful than before. I'm in womb, inside the womb is some sort of liquid, and I'm surrounded by the liquid. If I open my eyes (not physical eyes, but the babies eyes) I see this liquid which has a red taint to it because of the surrounding flesh, Everything that this woman feels, I feel. I'm not breathing, the breathing is done by the woman and I get my oxygen trough the umbilical cord. Me and the woman are one. The woman then started feeling some sort of stress. I get out of the womb and I'm now on this very large hand, it was males hand. Whilst laying down on this hand, surrounded by the void, that's when I experienced the peak of peace, the peace was so strong that if I were to die there and then, I would've been happy because I knew that I'm safe on this hand. That's when my life's purpose was revealed to me by this hand, not going to share here because it's very personal and to be honest, nothing fancy.
The hand disappeared and I returned to the void with my guide. And I asked quite an important question to me, 'Is Jesus Christ God ? and what about other religions ?'. That's when I was told that every religion is true as long as it leads you to love.
For this question there was no vision, just a simple question and answer.
This entity wanted to show me something more, so I followed it. From far away I could see light and that we were moving towards it. We came to the light source and it was like opening in the void, and inside this opening there was this white realm, the most beautiful white I've ever seen. There were this family (family consisted of father, mother, son, daughter) guarding this realm, and for some reason when we approached, my guide disappeared. So I was told by the guarding family to enter the white realm, but the feeling of the white realm was so overwhelming that I was scared to enter it and I refused to enter it. When I refused, the guarding family got really angry at me because they viewed me as an unserious explorer who disrespected their realm and started chasing me, I started running away and my guide appeared and helped me to get away. When I got away from the family, my stay in void was coming to the end, so me and my guide said goodbye to each other, and he said this 'see you next time and enjoy the rest of your trip' and I said 'Hope not' this answer was answer this his 'see you next time', then it felt as if the veil was sealed in front of me.
Even though I came back from this void, my mushroom trip did not end there. After I came back from the void, the trip was visually very chaotic. I could see eyes watching me, there were thousands of eyes all around my room, and I realised that the eyes were not someone else, but those eyes were my consciousness watching myself. I could see fireworks exploding in my room, I could see mushrooms dancing in my room, basically, I think after saying goodbye to my guide and closing the veil the trip became symbolically dead so there is no point in writing about it.
If I understand correctly, the symbolism is, and maybe you could help me with it:
The library - is the Akashic records
The womb - is rebirth
The hand - ?
The white realm - ?
The guide - Some sort of sub-conscious manifested protector ?
The guardians family - ?
Also other symbols which I might not put enough importance on.
- This was my first experience of anything psychedelic
- I was alone
- I had zero knowledge of symbols prior to going into this trip, and still to this day I don't fully understand what some things were meant to represent, so maybe you could help me with this one.
Ate 5 grams of mushrooms with the intention of having great time, did not took it seriously at all.
The reason I took 5 grams is because I bought 5 grams and I thought, If I split it between 1 gram and 2x 2 gram doses even though it might be more manageable, then I will never had achieved the heroic dose which is 5 grams,
Mushroom trip:
Ate 5 grams of mushrooms, put on the headphones and wrapped myself into a big thick blanket that I had.
30 minutes pass by and I feel amazing, literally euphoric, the colors are more vivid, involuntary smile took over my face, my body started feeling heavier. 10 more minutes pass by and I start seeing first signs of movement, I had TV on and the colors of my TV hitting the ceiling started to wave. It was very beautiful.
About an hour into my trip, I'm super relaxed in this super enjoyable state. And then it felt as if a got electrocuted straight into my brain (my body literally contacted), in a split second I went from laying down in deep relaxation, to sitting up and grabbing onto my head. The electrocution lasted only a split second but it left me shocked. At this second I understood that I've played around a bit too much, especially in these doses.
As this electrocution happened, the very intense visuals started happening, even when I closed my eyes.
So I close my eyes. There were these different geometric shapes spinning and moving (closest resemblance is mandalas), it was terrifying not because it was scary, but because it felt so real. I started praying my rosary. This very visual stage stopped when I had second electrocution to my brain. After which I moved into the void.
I appear in the void, no body, 360 visual of everything. And I'm still very scared, so I continued praying for God to help me. And that when this light being appeared. It was like a light source, the appearance of it was that it was made out of every color but at the end it all merged into white, it had no shape. At this point, I'm still not fully surrendered to this trip and I keep making small movements with my body in order to not be absorbed fully into this void and to have some sort of a grip on the reality.
Now I'm starting to realise that this is not going away anytime soon, and this light being keeps telling me 'relax, relax'. So I say to it (telepathically/in my mind), 'please be gentle with me'. And that's when I fully relax and submerge into this void. This entity acts like my guide. At first I started to see the stars, and the beauty of the universe (there were these galaxies with all of these different colors, green, purple, blue). I'm flying trough all of these galaxies, it was such a profound feeling, It felt peaceful.
Then I asked this entity 'tell me how the universe works', that's when we flew to this eternal library. At that point I understood that it's impossible for human brain to comprehend the complexity of the universe. That's when I saw this vision, A single leaf falling from a tree, to airplane high in the sky, to a single strand of grass moving are all interconnected somehow and that nothing is random in this universe. Absolutely nothing.
The tour of the library ended, that's when I asked the light entity the second question 'What is my purpose in life?'. Again, another vision. I appear in some woman's womb (I don't think it was my mother) as a baby. The feeling was even more peaceful than before. I'm in womb, inside the womb is some sort of liquid, and I'm surrounded by the liquid. If I open my eyes (not physical eyes, but the babies eyes) I see this liquid which has a red taint to it because of the surrounding flesh, Everything that this woman feels, I feel. I'm not breathing, the breathing is done by the woman and I get my oxygen trough the umbilical cord. Me and the woman are one. The woman then started feeling some sort of stress. I get out of the womb and I'm now on this very large hand, it was males hand. Whilst laying down on this hand, surrounded by the void, that's when I experienced the peak of peace, the peace was so strong that if I were to die there and then, I would've been happy because I knew that I'm safe on this hand. That's when my life's purpose was revealed to me by this hand, not going to share here because it's very personal and to be honest, nothing fancy.
The hand disappeared and I returned to the void with my guide. And I asked quite an important question to me, 'Is Jesus Christ God ? and what about other religions ?'. That's when I was told that every religion is true as long as it leads you to love.
For this question there was no vision, just a simple question and answer.
This entity wanted to show me something more, so I followed it. From far away I could see light and that we were moving towards it. We came to the light source and it was like opening in the void, and inside this opening there was this white realm, the most beautiful white I've ever seen. There were this family (family consisted of father, mother, son, daughter) guarding this realm, and for some reason when we approached, my guide disappeared. So I was told by the guarding family to enter the white realm, but the feeling of the white realm was so overwhelming that I was scared to enter it and I refused to enter it. When I refused, the guarding family got really angry at me because they viewed me as an unserious explorer who disrespected their realm and started chasing me, I started running away and my guide appeared and helped me to get away. When I got away from the family, my stay in void was coming to the end, so me and my guide said goodbye to each other, and he said this 'see you next time and enjoy the rest of your trip' and I said 'Hope not' this answer was answer this his 'see you next time', then it felt as if the veil was sealed in front of me.
Even though I came back from this void, my mushroom trip did not end there. After I came back from the void, the trip was visually very chaotic. I could see eyes watching me, there were thousands of eyes all around my room, and I realised that the eyes were not someone else, but those eyes were my consciousness watching myself. I could see fireworks exploding in my room, I could see mushrooms dancing in my room, basically, I think after saying goodbye to my guide and closing the veil the trip became symbolically dead so there is no point in writing about it.
If I understand correctly, the symbolism is, and maybe you could help me with it:
The library - is the Akashic records
The womb - is rebirth
The hand - ?
The white realm - ?
The guide - Some sort of sub-conscious manifested protector ?
The guardians family - ?
Also other symbols which I might not put enough importance on.