I’d like to reframe something here, because I think it matters. If a woman can “screw up” your magick, then maybe your magick, or your structure needed tweaking to begin with. Can you hold space for the feminine without performance? Without cracking? If not, then yeah, it’s a mirror. And yeah, that's hard as hell sometimes. Its a challenge, its something I have had to grow into rather than intellectualize. Each woman I encounter present different challenges for me (not to be read as a bad thing).
I agree with Anziel that gender is in everything. As men, we carry an inner feminine (anima), and if you’re not in touch with her at all, you’re more likely to trauma match than truly connect with a woman (Meaning seeking a woman to complete you, etc) That doesn’t make her the disruption. That just makes her the catalyst.
As for how this works for women? I’ll let those with lived experience speak to that.