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Journal Dancing ritual

A record of a users' progress or achievements in their particular practice.

voidcat

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Yesterday I was feeling very spiritual. Not sure why but I kept picturing a cat running in my head and kept feeling wings on my back and cat ears. Also kept feeling the sensation of my eyesight getting more focused. I took this to mean Bastet was wanting my attention. I been going through a lot and she's the goddess I'd associate with health and healing. Movement and dance.

Some important context: One big issue I'm having right now is my hemoglobin too high. Not high enough to not be able to donate blood but high enough that my body keeps falling asleep and my aunt a nurse keeps saying I need to move else I might get a blood clot. I cannot stay stationary she told me i need to move and drink lots of water. She's going to take me to a center to donate blood which should lessen the amount of hemoglobins to normal range. The meds that are causing this my doctor has lessen the dosage of so it's likely to correct itself a bit this problem. I think this may be part of why Bastet kept trying to get my attention.

Anyway so I decided to do what I been thinking of getting involved with: Dancing rituals. Rituals involving movement and music. I haven't yet read enough on specific dances to do but I know one thing I been trying to work on is getting more in touch with my body and being present in it. Also being in the moment and not worrying about looking silly just move. Keeping this in mind this is the ritual I did for Bastet as a form of worship and practice for more in depth rituals that have more of a purpose beyond what I was trying to achieve yesterday:

I got some tea. Put on my cat mask I got custom made for rituals. Lit a stick of incense that I could wave around. Played some music and focusing on it. Moving to it. After a while of drinking tea waving the incense and swaying in my chair i got the courage up to get up. Place my tea down and walk to the grass. Sat my phone on a chair music turned up as high as I can. And just dance and move in whatever ways felt natural listening to the music. Focusing on ever movement and sensation in my body. The sounds around me. The music. I kept wanting to sway my arms like wings to the beat watching the incense smelling it. The longer I did this the more I started moving and losing myself in sensation going kinda in trance. I felt like a lot of the stress i been feeling lifting from my shoulders and just moved.

My aunts husband came home let the dogs out during this time. This partly took my out of my trance and made me laugh as the dogs who saw me moving decided they wanted in on it. The problem with this is I still had incense in my hand and one the dogs tried to attack my hands trying to get me to play. In the future if I do this again imma make sure to time it for a time the dogs arent outside or if they are ill be holding something that's not incense to wave. I was worried the dog would accidently bite the part that was burning. The dogs eventually settled and went to go bug my aunts husband for a bit. I went back to dancing and moving.

Eventually the incense was almost burnt down. I kept picturing a cat running and got the urge to sit by the creek in the backyard. Turn the music off. Wave the incense and watch it move listening to the creek. Sit and listen to it. So I did. After a moment I started praying. The incense died out completely. I got up feeling lighter sat back down on the porch and drank the rest of my tea to ground myself. Thanked Bastet. Then went back inside ritual ended feeling lighter and at peace.
 
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voidcat

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There are parts I left out of here...I was focusing a lot on emotional turmoil that I had felt for months.

I didn't want to say this when I posted the ritual I did. In case I was wrong. However I think Bastet healed me. Before I did this dancing ritual I wanted to leave behind some pain.I didn't know how to control said pain. Stop from spiraling. I had other issues that were compounded from this pain. My abandonment issues from childhood came out, grief from lost relatives. I felt no matter what ill always be alone. I had a dream that made me realize what I needed to move on. I did what I felt I needed. And then kept seeing that image of a cat running feeling those wings.

When I did this ritual...I was close to moving on from spiraling. It was still very strong the pain however and i was worried. I did the dancing ritual. And I don't know how I can't word what my emotions did. They changed. I felt them changing. Like they were being worked on and moved to a manageable point. I feel at peace. I feel a wound has been mostly stitched up. I still need to tend to it im sure. And I'm sure I'll feel pain intensely as time goes and grief comes in waves. But...I'm healed to a point that I don't think I'll be consumed anymore. Im strong enough i can cope now. I could be wrong. I don't think I am.

I'm not alone. I'm connected to the world around me. I'm connected to other people and to the Divine. I'm connected to my own soul. I am not an island.
 
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