I believe when my body dies, I will cross the veil one final time. What happens? No one knows, its the age old question.
Like so many other things in magick, there isn't an answer for us while living this life. I mean people have hedged on certain beliefs and that's fine. I am perfectly fine not knowing. Strange right? That uncertainty is just another mystery I have learned to hold and sit in.
My plan is to live this life fully. As best I can. Regrets, pain, love, happiness (and Van Halen really loud of course).
My true desire would be in that moment when I die, I hope the first thing I see is Lilith as she really is, in all her fullness. Not the filters I see her through now, the real thing. I hope the second thing I see is myself in the same fullness. All the radiance that is me.
Whatever happens after that? Who the fuck knows. I do know this though, once there, you cant change what happened here in the past. So why waste the precious present moments worrying about what happens then? Worrying about it changes nothing but fucks up a pretty great now.
I also believe it is an illusion to chase the answer. It wasn't meant for us. So its okay with me personally. Maybe in a few years I will re-read this and laugh at myself (I do that more often than you'd think.)