Favorite stories, koans, anecdotes, etc.

[Pyrokar]

The priest was traveling down river in his boat when, on a shore he spotted a hermit.
The man was jumping over a hole to and fro, shouting "This one for God! - This one for me!"
Curious, the priest asked what he was doing. Praying, of course! The hermit replied.
With a sigh the priest went and taught the hermit the our father who art in heaven prayer, then went back to his boat
as he was leaving however the priest saw the hermit run along the shore, and then onto the water itself as if it were solid ground
"I forgot the prayer teach me again!" the Hermit called out, but the priest waved him away "Keep praying as you have already."

-
The zen teacher Hakuin was renowned as a chaste and honorable man, close to him there lived a family with a beautiful daughter.
One day the parents found out their daughter was pregnant and demanded to know who the father was. The daughter, unwilling to reveal
the truth had said it was Hakuin who was the father. The parents were furious and went to Hakuin who merely replied "So it's like that is it?"
Soon after they brought the child to Hakuin who had lost his reputation and good standing, and he took good care of the child.
After a year the girl could not keep her silence and revealed the father of the child was actually a young fisherman
The parents of the girl rushed back to Hakuin to apologize and beg his forgiveness and to take the child back.
But Hakuin was a step ahead, saying "Oh so it's like that, is it?" and returned the child.

-
In Russia, chess was held in very high regard and restricted to men only. One day a grandmaster brought his student to play in a park.
There, the two were accosted by a little girl who wanted to learn to play as well. Not once, but several times they told her away - it was not for her.
But she refused to back down and after watching them eagerly from afar for a while finally approached again and challenged the grandmaster and his student
"i think both of you are bad and i bet i could easily play against you both! I will not lose to either"
Annoyed the grandmaster accepted, the bet was set, two sets of chess boards were prepared on each side and the game started
It was not long before both the men found their opponent was not easy to beat at all, and after much struggle the results came to be that
the girl had defeated the student and tied against the grandmaster. A lot of gloating was in order, but only after it was over
did the two see what had happened. The girl had copied the moves of one against the other.

 

[Xingtian]

The priest was traveling down river in his boat when, on a shore he spotted a hermit.
The man was jumping over a hole to and fro, shouting "This one for God! - This one for me!"
Curious, the priest asked what he was doing. Praying, of course! The hermit replied.
With a sigh the priest went and taught the hermit the our father who art in heaven prayer, then went back to his boat
as he was leaving however the priest saw the hermit run along the shore, and then onto the water itself as if it were solid ground
"I forgot the prayer teach me again!" the Hermit called out, but the priest waved him away "Keep praying as you have already."

I believe this tale originates from Leo Tolstoy. At some point it was adapted by Vajrayana Buddhists but with the pronunciation of the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hung" being the matter of "correction".

 

[IllusiveOwl]

I have a little one by John Fowles, he calls it a "Disintoxication" story and Aquino bluntly called it a "Red Pill"

The Prince and the Magician

Once upon a time there was a young prince, who believed in all things but three. He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, he did not believe in God. His father, the king, told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father’s domaines, and no sign of God, the young prince believed his father. But then, one day, the prince ran away from his palace. He came to the next land. There, to his astonishment, from every coast he saw islands, and on these islands, strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat, a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore. “Are those real islands?” asked the young prince.

“Of course they are real islands,” said the man in evening dress. “And those stra nge a nd troubl i ng creatures?” “They are all genuine and authentic princesses.” “Then God also must exist!” cried the prince. “I am God,” replied the man in full evening dress, with a bow. The young prince returned home as quickly as he could. “So you are back,” said his father, the king. “I have seen islands, I have seen princesses, I have seen God,” said the prince reproachfully. The king was unmoved. “Neither real islands, nor real princesses, nor a real God, exist.” “I saw them!” “Tell me how God was dressed.” “God was in full evening dress.” “Were the sleeves of his coat rolled back?” The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled. “That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived.” At this, the prince returned to the next land, and went to the same shore, where once again he came upon the man in full evening dress. “My father the king has told me who you are,” said the young prince indignantly. “You deceived me last time, but not again. Now Iknow that those are not real islands and real princesses, because you are a magician.” The man on the shore smiled. “It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father’s kingdom there are many islands and many princesses. But you are under your father’s spell, so you cannot see them.” The prince returned pensively home. When he saw his father, he looked him in the eyes. “Father, is it true that you are not a real king, but only a magician?” The king smiled, and rolled back his sleeves. “Yes, my son, I am only a magician.” “Then the man on the shore was God.” “The man on the shore was another magician.” “I must know the real truth, the truth beyond magic.” “There is no truth beyond magic,” said the king. The prince was full of sadness. He said, “I will kill myself.” The king by magic caused death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered. He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses. “Very well,” he said. “I can bear it.” “You see, my son,” said the king, “you too now begin to be a magician."

 

[Pyrokar]

I believe this tale originates from Leo Tolstoy. At some point it was adapted by Vajrayana Buddhists but with the pronunciation of the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hung" being the matter of "correction".

it's not tho kek
it's an orthodox christian story about a particular saint

weather or not my boys stole it from somewhere else is something i can't guarantee.

 

[Xingtian]

it's not tho kek
it's an orthodox christian story about a particular saint

I've seen Orthodox Christians adapt this story, assuming it's from some ancient source (there are a lot of similar anecdotes in the lives of the Desert Fathers, for instance) but it does seem to originate with Tolstoy (whose Christianity was decidedly not orthodox but who was enormously popular and influential in Russia).

Post automatically merged: Oct 30, 2024

From Anthony Kaldellis' book A Cabinet of Byzantine Curiosities:

An early experiment in steam power was performed by the architect of Hagia Sophia, Anthemios (early sixth century). He had a neighbor, Zenon, a lawyer, who had blocked his view with a structure. Unable to defeat him in court, Anthemios contrived the following. In a part of his basement that was underneath Zenon's house, he built vats and connected their sealed lids to the beams of the floor above. He brought the water inside them to a boil, making the floor shake and causing Zenon to rush out into the street in terror. Zenon was mocked for asking whether others had suffered damage from the earthquake. Anthemios earned the nicknames "Zeus the Thunderer" and "Poseidon the Earth-Shaker" (Agathias, Histories 5.6-8.).

 

[Pyrokar]

but it does seem to originate

i doubt it but im waiting for source to prove it.

-
Details are foggy, but if memory serves this one was in Japan (?) where blessings worked as sorts of Charms or sigils - put down on paper
and hung at the entrance to the house. So a nobleman asked for this service and was notoriously difficult to please.
The last to take up his demand was a priest who simply wrote: The father dies, the mother dies, the child dies.
Furious he ordered the priest brought to him and demanded satisfaction "but this is right." replied the priest, yet the nobleman
would not have it. So the priest came with a fix. The new charm read "The child dies, the mother dies the father dies"
Now even further shocked at this, the nobleman wanted explanation until he was made to understand death is unavoidable
but it can be far crueler than it needs to be.Humbled, he accepted the first original charm and knew that it was the best possible course of fate.

 

[HoldAll]

An atheist goes to Hell where he’s duly met by the Devil who shows him around the infernal abode where the atheist has been damned to spend the rest of eternity: babbling brooks, blooming trees, lush meadows, majestic mountains in the distance, altogether a very charming scenery. "I can’t believe this is Hell!“, exclaims the atheist when he suddenly hears faint screams and notices the smell of burning sulphur coming from a small grille in a cliff face. He peers inside and sees naked sinners being cooked alive in huge kettles, prodded with sharp tridents by an army of demons, tortured with red-hot tongs, etc. The atheist says "I knew it!“ and asks the Devil, "What’s this then?“ – "Oh, these are just the Christians, they want it to be this way.“

 

[IllusiveOwl]

babbling brooks, blooming trees, lush meadows, majestic mountains in the distance, altogether a very charming scenery.

I dont think it's related to the punchline, but I find it very charming that the Athiest hell is the same as the Buddhist Samsara. It's as though he never died in the first place!

A very nice story overall though.

 

[sherab]

Very old, but it still comes up:

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."