Feeling pretty lonely in my occult practice

[CyanTheRedPanda]

Right now I'm living in a city that doesn't really have a big occult scene like other places in my province (Ontario). All I have are a few Wiccan covens that require you to be 21 to join (I'm 18) and an AMORC chapter that I'm not too interested in. On top of that I don't have any irl friends who practice the occult, so it just feels really lonely right now. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with this loneliness?

 

[Tryp]

Maybe it's not what you'd like to hear, but I believe occult practice is essentially a solo endeavor. Then again, I have never joined a coven or any practice organisation, so I cannot vouch for group practice either. Aside of a few conversations in person where I shared ideas with people curious or receptive (not practitioners, to my knowledge) the only interactions I've had with other practitioners over the years have been online. Hell, I haven't even practiced sex magick with a partner.

I'd say you have to work in transforming that loneliness into solitude. But I'm more than twice your age, so it might be easy for me to say that. I can imagine how, if I had been starting at your age, I'd be longing for partners in crime as well. But perhaps if you manage to have a social life outside of your magical practice, you'll be able to cherish it as a space of your own.

For whatever it might be worth, my paradigm helps. I couldn't sustain a psychological model for very long. Both my way of thinking and my experiences progressively moved me to a spirit model. And there you are never alone. If that works for you, and you manage to establish relations with Other (whether it is through ancestral work, animism and plant spirits, pacts or devotional communication...) that feeling of loneliness will change.

And well, in the meantime we are here

 

[CyanTheRedPanda]

Maybe it's not what you'd like to hear, but I believe occult practice is essentially a solo endeavor. Then again, I have never joined a coven or any practice organisation, so I cannot vouch for group practice either. Aside of a few conversations in person where I shared ideas with people curious or receptive (not practitioners, to my knowledge) the only interactions I've had with other practitioners over the years have been online. Hell, I haven't even practiced sex magick with a partner.

I'd say you have to work in transforming that loneliness into solitude. But I'm more than twice your age, so it might be easy for me to say that. I can imagine how, if I had been starting at your age, I'd be longing for partners in crime as well. But perhaps if you manage to have a social life outside of your magical practice, you'll be able to cherish it as a space of your own.

For whatever it might be worth, my paradigm helps. I couldn't sustain a psychological model for very long. Both my way of thinking and my experiences progressively moved me to a spirit model. And there you are never alone. If that works for you, and you manage to establish relations with Other (whether it is through ancestral work, animism and plant spirits, pacts or devotional communication...) that feeling of loneliness will change.

And well, in the meantime we are here

Aww, thanks. Maybe doing more spirit work is what I need then.

 

[MorganBlack]

Hey, you found us here. Everybody here are better company than I had for most of it . I don't know what I would do is I did not have people here just to bounce my thoughts off of.

I feel you. I was alone for most of it. I’m a Grim trad Verum guy here. Gen-X. Spent time in OTO - which I loved and did not take advantage of enough. Good folks. I met my sweetheart there, so for that I am grateful. Also Haitian Vodou which taught me alot, but it was a hard path.

Magic folk are pretty weird - and either live in abstractions or are very power focused. I say, just get out there and meet some folks. The best thing about 1990s Wicca and OTO was a lot of cool folk just chillin’ - before it got weird. It is harder now, I think. Before the internet, which speciated it all into hot takes, cliques, cults of personality, and worship of the ego, we all had a shared language.

My son goes to a Catholic church for the community, and it’s all octogenarian Polish couples or young Latino families, and his Spanish is terrible. I wish we had a way to have people come hang without making it into sex, power, status, or an ego trip .

Maybe Neville Goddardian New Thought as an “outer court” and then something more sublunar for the inner court, but only for folks who are balanced emotionally. Having started a couple of working occult groups, I can say this it is a hard pickle.

 

[Faria]

Does anyone else have advice on dealing with this loneliness?

YMMV... My approach is to limit my occult related real-life discussions to a couple of people and keep it otherwise invisible.

When I was younger, being useful to other people was a great way to develop my work and have fun in the meantime. There are other people who find magic useful besides criminals... probably.

Also recommend conventions and events, especially for someone like myself who cant stand a lot of people around me or having to make time for things. Get into an industry and go to conventions. You think the quilt people get together and fucking quilt?? Lol no its hippies doing drugs. Nobody goes to a jewelry convention for the jewelry, its about the pool. Just saying you don't need to find other magic people to get away from loneliness, and there are lots of ways to meet friends who can go back on the shelf when the event is over.

 

[CyanTheRedPanda]

When I was younger, being useful to other people was a great way to develop my work and have fun in the meantime. There are other people who find magic useful besides criminals... probably.

You worked with criminals? Sorry to pry, but I'm curious as to what you meant.

 

[Faria]

You worked with criminals? Sorry to pry, but I'm curious as to what you meant.

The guys I knew from the private school were a bunch of rapists but the hood thugs were cool so I hung out with them instead. They were mostly thieves, very little violence but massive amounts of larceny just about every day. Criminals love magic, and there's a "sink or swim" element to doing magic to make their crimes work. And not just workings to improve crime, they had all sorts of personal dramas where magic was the answer. None of them were into it, but still being among them gave me an opportunity to practice the Art and also have buddies who respected it.

 

[Ztrangr]

Right now I'm living in a city that doesn't really have a big occult scene like other places in my province (Ontario). All I have are a few Wiccan covens that require you to be 21 to join (I'm 18) and an AMORC chapter that I'm not too interested in. On top of that I don't have any irl friends who practice the occult, so it just feels really lonely right now. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with this loneliness?

I can understand how you feel, I also don't have anyone around me who practises magick or is even interested in esoteric subjects, so I don't talk to anyone about it. Even so, people regard me a a little strange. It sometimes feels lonely because the concersations people have a lot of the tie atr just boring and superficial to me. So I' glad there's Forums like this one, youtube channels and most of all my meditation practice, so that's what I could recommend

 

[Francesca]

Right now I'm living in a city that doesn't really have a big occult scene like other places in my province (Ontario). All I have are a few Wiccan covens that require you to be 21 to join (I'm 18) and an AMORC chapter that I'm not too interested in. On top of that I don't have any irl friends who practice the occult, so it just feels really lonely right now. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with this loneliness?

I totally get you, im from Chile and in my city there's not any type of group of some sorts that practices the occult (or they are just well hidden) and I feel like i have no one to talk with about these things

 

[Beyond Everything]

Right now I'm living in a city that doesn't really have a big occult scene like other places in my province (Ontario). All I have are a few Wiccan covens that require you to be 21 to join (I'm 18) and an AMORC chapter that I'm not too interested in. On top of that I don't have any irl friends who practice the occult, so it just feels really lonely right now. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with this loneliness?

I've found it more worthwhile to befriend/date cool people who are open-minded (or into things like yoga), and that's due to the general quality of people focused on the occult.

Real occultism is a solitary pursuit. In the end, you are -if successful- left alone with your Self. If you can't tolerate and then transmute loneliness, you'll always be playing in the shallow end of the pool.

 

[kusuri]

I agree with a lot here. I live way out in the countryside away from the cities.

Online spaces have been way more beneficial for me than some irl ones. While in Portland OR I visited local OTO chapters and stuff, and it just isn't the same. Most of my life I enjoyed my time with TOPY/AIN23 and most of that was online. There are even some cool cats from IOT if you can find them.

At the end of the day what we do is mostly in private, and you can even orchestrate rituals over the internet to good result of everyone involved knows what they are doing.

 

[Digiquo]

Try looking into Unitarian Universalist churches around you. While the services themselves will likely be very banal and generic, the individuals attending are all there because for one reason or another they do not feel welcome or accepted at a typical denominational church. They may not be occultists per se, but they will almost surely have a unique perspective on their personal spirituality that could be a vital piece to your own practice.