Journal Finding my Path

[Lou Vesper]

I'm starting a journal to plot out my spiritual history and development up to this moment and beyond. I aim to understand the main events that have lead me to where I am and perhaps find folks who may have insight into paths or traditions I would be well suited for based on my values, interests, and skills.

I start with the main traditions that have influenced me so far:
1. Christianity (I was raised Mormon, developed a strong relationship with the Nazarene, found the character of the church and the mainstream traditions of Christianity broadly to be out of alignment with the being I have come to love.)
2. New Age Spirituality: I was really interested in ESP from a young age, around 9 or 10. That lead me into westernized guided meditation, astral projection, energy work, and most significantly, lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming has become a foundational practice for me.
3. Folk Magic: My introduction to folk magic was a book of moon spells I requested for my local library when I was probably 10 or 11. Has become my main interest at this time. Particularly interested in Germanic and Celtic folk traditions. I want to avoid as much cultural appropriation as possible.
4. Buddhism: I came to be interested in Buddhism after doing a project on the Buddha for a world civ class in junior year of high school. More so after being introduced to dream yoga through Andrew Holocek
5. Marxism: while not what most people would consider a spiritual tradition, dialectical materialism has really shaped my worldview and my vision for the future.

 

[Lou Vesper]

One of my favorite texts for dream work is Gendlin's Let your body interpret your dreams.

 

[Durward]

Being a dream walker myself, I'm glad to see others following this path.
One of the things that strikes me to this day, after over 6 decades, is that I learn something new every day. The more I know, the more I realize I know nothing.

 

[Bawonschild]

What form of Buddhism if you don't mind me asking. I have studied a little bit of Mahayana Buddhism. But it's a struggle between the mind state of that and the left hand path. I found a weird balance where I kind of act as a guide to others along the path. Giving advice and etc but the struggle for me comes from the temptations of the left hand vs the right hand and not wanting in on that war.


All that to ask how do you incorporate Buddhism into your practice with out conflict mentally so to speak?

 

[Durward]

Marxism: while not what most people would consider a spiritual tradition, dialectical materialism has really shaped my worldview and my vision for the future.

My two cents: As a young person, which you still are, I had a vision of a place called the sanctuary. Where individuals engaged in labor for the collective benefit, not profits, or greed, and bartered for things. So it was a social idea. The problem is that humanity is not ready, and likely never will be, without being forced. We already know that Marxism can't work unless it is a worldwide program, and every try at social governing or systems has failed miserably, for the same reasons. You have to force it, and anyone in charge has to be a saint and never corrupt.
The underlying nature of human beings, which often has to be trained out of them at a very young age, is to be selfish, greedy, self-centered, hateful beings. The big ones are likely selfishness, dishonesty, cruelty, arrogance, manipulation, and narcissism. I did a more recent count and the population has about 1% to 5% that have an excuse because of the way the brain is wired. Then there are about 40% that are just jerks at heart, bullies, petty, liars, and don't care about the planet or being social unless they get some personal and immediate benefit from it. Like dogs, they will pee on leftover food to prevent anyone else from getting something 'for free'... Then there's the NIMBY crowd, where they live in these fake make-believe environments, and would attempt to keep the harsh reality of the homeless or less desirable out of that fake world they have created. Then the elite and those that think they are better or more superior, either by actual skill and aptitude, or by financial resources and means. Even in these mouth-breather groups, there are those that have more humanitarian views and some that see the damage this unsustainable nonsense world is causing.
There are, of course, a few gems, and some dirty gems that shine if you polish off enough shit.
But, it pays to drop the idea that humanity will be ready to be social or fair anytime in the near future. It is more likely that history will continue to repeat itself, over and over, with hate, division, war, religious wars, cultural wars, social inequality, financial inequality, abuse for profit, manipulation, brainwashing and total chaos. Perhaps this can be corrected with some genetic engineering tool like CRISPR. But the harsh reality of reality is that the bullies, tyrants, elite always end up running the show, and we have new creeps being born by the hundreds, maybe thousands, every day.
So, it can save on your own frustration level, and how many times you get run over by the scammers and manipulators, if you look at the world as it is, and not as we wish it would be.