I see a problem as you mentioned St Cyprian I think. Magic used by the magician.
I mention Cyprian because of the whole balance thing. Jason Miller covers St Cyprian in his book,
Consorting with Spirits. If one focuses exclusively on Angels or Daemons, one can become imbalanced, imo. Cyprian works with both. You want results, right? Maybe drop the Anglo way of doing things (the hard way, you know, with that damnable Anglo Work Ethic which says it's gotta hurt before you deserve to earn a dollar), and find an intercessor you can put faith in. Set it and forget it. Make your petitions known and simply know that it's being taken care of.
Your continued conscious maneuvering is only confounding the success you desire. My god, I never thought I'd say this again, but
Have Faith! You say you have faith? Your faith shows in your works, the things that you say and do. The horse pulls the cart, not the other way around. Why should the magician drag both horse and cart along with his teeth gritted from the strain? Your faith will be demonstrated by the outcome of the union of your conscious mind and inner timeless soul. This Union only happens when you
let go of the idea that you must be in total conscious control all of the time. The horse knows its way home even if the magician is dozing off in the cart.
The Sorcerer's Call to St Cyprian
1 In the name of the great and mighty power of God I invoke the
sublime influence of St. Cyprian, in Christ Jesus. I ask that
you be my mentor and my master by virtue of the grace
bestowed upon you by God omnipotent who was, who is,
and who will ever be.
2 You learned to control storms on Mt. Olympus, the casting of
enchantment and illusion in Argos, the mysteries of the
Witches' craft at Taurapolis, Necromancy among the
graves of Sparta, and incantations in Memphis. Finally in
Antioch, drawn by power, you found grace of Christ.
3 Oh holy Cyprian, you who equally partakes of the mass and
the sabbat, bless my efforts to follow you in your path. You
who commingled with Angels, devils, and earthly spirits,
grant the power to command the spirits as you did, and as
Solomon and Manasses did before you.
4 I thank you lord for the many gifts of nature and grace with
which you enriched the spiritual treasure house of your
most faithful servant St Cyprian. I thank you, my protector,
for the special favors I have received by your powerful
intercession.
5 Oh Cyprian holy thaumaturge: saint and Sorcerer, martyr and
magus, bless me. Take my prayers and spells and make
them your own. When the lord hears them, he will not
ignore them, they will cease to be my words, but yours.
Amen [...]
In the [fourth] verse we thank God for empowering St Cyprian to
work on our behalf. Then we thank St Cyprian for past intercession.
If you have not received anything yet, thank him anyway. It shows
faith he will pull through. - Consorting with Spirits by Jason Miller, pages 104-105.
Was referring casually to Judaism and Christianity.
Now, as for Judaism, the real strength there from what I understand is community, being part of the tribe. It's even stronger within certain of the sects. So, are you going to join the tribe? No? What are you wasting time on their holy book for then? Job, Abraham, Moses, Solomon, David... yeah I read the Old Testament, and some parts of it several times back in the day. Familiarity breeds contempt, at least for me. I would have no problem using a Psalm in an evocation/invocation as the need may arise, and I am at times using Hebrew words in ritual. It's all the same with using elements of Hinduism or the magical arts of the Far East. Become a scholar if you wish, but know that it only fills your conscious mind with busy work.
