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- May 15, 2026
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Greetings,
it's been 9 weeks since i have discovered magick ( and 2 since i discovered this forum
)
and i wanted to talk about some struggles i've been having in these days that i pretty much breathe and sleep magick ( i'm hyper focusing the topic while i make all my work using NotebookLM to use only the references i already used in prior classes and generate a presentation of a topic i already teach for years now ).
1. Concentrate in meditation is too easy, and it feels awful...
Yes. this is a problem, and a very hard problem.
As i try to make meditative exercises to help me build my concentration... I do it in seconds and can focus on the place and swift focus from a part of the body to another pretty fast. Like, I did an exercise from the Quareia course of puting a finger into my forehead and my nose to only feel the finger in my forehead and nothing more. it took me 19 seconds to do so. I just cleared my mind for a bit and poof, full concentrated.
And the issue here is that in many books, we learn that learning meditation skills builds at the same time concentration, self-awareness, visualization and mostly... PATIENCE.
The fact i concentrate too fast makes it harder to keep the meditation session longer, simply because i do the exercise, it goes smoothly in seconds or like something about 2 or 3 minutes, and that's it.
And so, I'm trying to solve this by doing every meditative exercise with time-based goals instead of achieving a goal.
I begin my practice by closing my eyes, rotating an analogical 1-hour kitchen alarm clock in an angle around 11° up to 62° and hide the clock ( in a way that i more or less know if it will take a while or not, but at the same time i don't know the exactly time that will pass) than i go to my most comfortable chair and meditate until the time runs out.
2.Creative imagination vs exclusive tastes.
Lately, I've been messing with servitor magick and sygils.
Sygil magick was quite ok.
Simple, easy learn, easy done.
But on the other hand, servitors were... well... quite a mess.
creating, giving a purpose of life, a sustenance source and animating a magickal artificial life is the easy process.
Making their physical structures, naming and creating a kill switch is the hard part. But once you get the first and see the results ( which are pretty fast if you build them very specific), it is easy to find yourself creating a ton of them.
Because try are easy to build, easy to manage, and gives great results as you specify them.
I ended up with 137 different species of spectral birds working for me just
TWO... DAYS... AFTER... I... LEARNED HOW TO DO IT...
They are all named over the specific epithet of the bird, all the characteristics of each species, but the difference is that they are more opaque and translucid than their real- world counterparts. But anatomically and physiologically, they are the same. They all have te same kill switch, state their call word, name and that they look just like their real world counterpart. And their food/sustenance is the energy that leaks from me right after the event that is their sole purpose of existence is ( find me clients, brings me inspiration, sit on my head and stay there whenever i feel lonely until i do not feel it anymore), wth also specifications like, it doesn't eat on weekends, or it eats up to 40 times a week and up to 8 times per day, as it feeds on the energy that leaks out of me right after i do an 45 minutes of work.
Needless to say that on the day after i made these gigantic flock of birds, i used the kill switch on almost everyone ( except the one that sits on my head. that one is fine), because i felt so drained but at the same, very anxious to do every task in my daily routine because "if i forget laundry, the spectral Robin won't eat", or " i must forget no to lunch, or else the spectral bluejay will starve".
So, i made a rule to create servitors only if they are not my specific taste.
So far, i made a mini pterosaur to find me clients because it is a loophole. It is not a sauropod, but it flies and looks like a dinosaur too.
Aside of that there was only 1 time i tried to, but it was ending up as making a Toad from Mario, so i aborted the process.
3. Listen more to to your instincts than your reasoning. But always listen to reasoning.
Cognitive rigidity and methodic reasoning might make me feel like stupid while performing ceremonial rituals and stucks me in many paths simply because it looks ridiculous or makes no sense, but also helps me not falling for the pseudoscientific "new age quantic self health life coaching from the UFO guides of new Atlantis".
Meaning that, some stuff, like the LBRP seems illogical.
" point to east... say the names of god... the angels are the elements... but are 118 elements, do i have to make a pentagram for the angel that represents Calcium too? "
And it was a hell of an exercise to understand that these stuff were not made with the periodic table in mind.
Or else, we would divide Air as being the columns A5 to the noble gases, Fire as the transuranic elements, the A1 and A2 column ( which is pretty reactive and always donate elements through the bonding), Earth as almost all the B columns. And water the rest of the A columns.
it took me a while to understand that when people says 4 elements, they are speaking in both the state of matter, in its' conductibility, reactivity, radioactivity, and reaction between two bodies of matter.
And as we should consider some kind of knowledge not using the scientific nomeclature, many others are willing to use science as a punchbag, describing their knowledge as superior to the "narrow minded". And being really honest here ... I saw a lot of topics in the WF forum doing the same. It is pretty much counter intuitive and counterproductive. Skeptical thought is part of understanding and creating new knowledge. Accepting everything without rationality is also bad. Because there are so many stuff that looks nice, feels nice, but it achieves literally nothing. Or stuff like it starts as a traditional practice, but them you go to an astral trip where the spirits of the ancestors were in fact...Aliens!
So, keeping an eye, but also accept reading is the key. If you feel that book you're reading brings something good. keep doing it. If you think it is ridiculous, stop, try something else.
And yeah... that's it for now.
I'm not good with writing, specially in english ( as my mother language is brazilian portuguese) , but i hope some of my vet early experiences helps other people with high abilities and autism to find a good place starting a path to magick.
it's been 9 weeks since i have discovered magick ( and 2 since i discovered this forum
) and i wanted to talk about some struggles i've been having in these days that i pretty much breathe and sleep magick ( i'm hyper focusing the topic while i make all my work using NotebookLM to use only the references i already used in prior classes and generate a presentation of a topic i already teach for years now ).
1. Concentrate in meditation is too easy, and it feels awful...
Yes. this is a problem, and a very hard problem.
As i try to make meditative exercises to help me build my concentration... I do it in seconds and can focus on the place and swift focus from a part of the body to another pretty fast. Like, I did an exercise from the Quareia course of puting a finger into my forehead and my nose to only feel the finger in my forehead and nothing more. it took me 19 seconds to do so. I just cleared my mind for a bit and poof, full concentrated.
And the issue here is that in many books, we learn that learning meditation skills builds at the same time concentration, self-awareness, visualization and mostly... PATIENCE.
The fact i concentrate too fast makes it harder to keep the meditation session longer, simply because i do the exercise, it goes smoothly in seconds or like something about 2 or 3 minutes, and that's it.
And so, I'm trying to solve this by doing every meditative exercise with time-based goals instead of achieving a goal.
I begin my practice by closing my eyes, rotating an analogical 1-hour kitchen alarm clock in an angle around 11° up to 62° and hide the clock ( in a way that i more or less know if it will take a while or not, but at the same time i don't know the exactly time that will pass) than i go to my most comfortable chair and meditate until the time runs out.
2.Creative imagination vs exclusive tastes.
Lately, I've been messing with servitor magick and sygils.
Sygil magick was quite ok.
Simple, easy learn, easy done.
But on the other hand, servitors were... well... quite a mess.
creating, giving a purpose of life, a sustenance source and animating a magickal artificial life is the easy process.
Making their physical structures, naming and creating a kill switch is the hard part. But once you get the first and see the results ( which are pretty fast if you build them very specific), it is easy to find yourself creating a ton of them.
Because try are easy to build, easy to manage, and gives great results as you specify them.
I ended up with 137 different species of spectral birds working for me just
TWO... DAYS... AFTER... I... LEARNED HOW TO DO IT...
They are all named over the specific epithet of the bird, all the characteristics of each species, but the difference is that they are more opaque and translucid than their real- world counterparts. But anatomically and physiologically, they are the same. They all have te same kill switch, state their call word, name and that they look just like their real world counterpart. And their food/sustenance is the energy that leaks from me right after the event that is their sole purpose of existence is ( find me clients, brings me inspiration, sit on my head and stay there whenever i feel lonely until i do not feel it anymore), wth also specifications like, it doesn't eat on weekends, or it eats up to 40 times a week and up to 8 times per day, as it feeds on the energy that leaks out of me right after i do an 45 minutes of work.
Needless to say that on the day after i made these gigantic flock of birds, i used the kill switch on almost everyone ( except the one that sits on my head. that one is fine), because i felt so drained but at the same, very anxious to do every task in my daily routine because "if i forget laundry, the spectral Robin won't eat", or " i must forget no to lunch, or else the spectral bluejay will starve".
So, i made a rule to create servitors only if they are not my specific taste.
So far, i made a mini pterosaur to find me clients because it is a loophole. It is not a sauropod, but it flies and looks like a dinosaur too.
Aside of that there was only 1 time i tried to, but it was ending up as making a Toad from Mario, so i aborted the process.
3. Listen more to to your instincts than your reasoning. But always listen to reasoning.
Cognitive rigidity and methodic reasoning might make me feel like stupid while performing ceremonial rituals and stucks me in many paths simply because it looks ridiculous or makes no sense, but also helps me not falling for the pseudoscientific "new age quantic self health life coaching from the UFO guides of new Atlantis".
Meaning that, some stuff, like the LBRP seems illogical.
" point to east... say the names of god... the angels are the elements... but are 118 elements, do i have to make a pentagram for the angel that represents Calcium too? "
And it was a hell of an exercise to understand that these stuff were not made with the periodic table in mind.
Or else, we would divide Air as being the columns A5 to the noble gases, Fire as the transuranic elements, the A1 and A2 column ( which is pretty reactive and always donate elements through the bonding), Earth as almost all the B columns. And water the rest of the A columns.
it took me a while to understand that when people says 4 elements, they are speaking in both the state of matter, in its' conductibility, reactivity, radioactivity, and reaction between two bodies of matter.
And as we should consider some kind of knowledge not using the scientific nomeclature, many others are willing to use science as a punchbag, describing their knowledge as superior to the "narrow minded". And being really honest here ... I saw a lot of topics in the WF forum doing the same. It is pretty much counter intuitive and counterproductive. Skeptical thought is part of understanding and creating new knowledge. Accepting everything without rationality is also bad. Because there are so many stuff that looks nice, feels nice, but it achieves literally nothing. Or stuff like it starts as a traditional practice, but them you go to an astral trip where the spirits of the ancestors were in fact...Aliens!
So, keeping an eye, but also accept reading is the key. If you feel that book you're reading brings something good. keep doing it. If you think it is ridiculous, stop, try something else.
And yeah... that's it for now.
I'm not good with writing, specially in english ( as my mother language is brazilian portuguese) , but i hope some of my vet early experiences helps other people with high abilities and autism to find a good place starting a path to magick.