"How to Cope With Finding Out You're Not Autistic"

[IllusiveOwl]

(Hugs) sorry to hear that was your experience.

That's all I can say there

A comfortable & easy life isn't ideal, I'm very fortunate to have touched life's extremes and live to tell about it, I don't want pity. This world is a gymnasium for the soul. We aren't here to flounder and laze around like cattle in mindless bliss. I've met countless adults who have had it easy and are nothing more than unconscious reaction automata, finding definition in their weaknesses and handicaps. I can say from firsthand experience that adversity fans the inner flame, but it should not be clung to for identity.

Psychology is a science vaguely applied to something that does not obey any rules or laws. Look at those resilient few that found their true invulnerability in concentration camps. A dead person can be mapped, manipulated, and predicted by psychology, but a living one is beyond all chains (diagnosis) or probability.

 

[voidcat]

A comfortable & easy life isn't ideal, I'm very fortunate to have touched life's extremes and live to tell about it, I don't want pity. This world is a gymnasium for the soul. We aren't here to flounder and laze around like cattle in mindless bliss. I've met countless adults who have had it easy and are nothing more than unconscious reaction automata, finding definition in their weaknesses and handicaps. I can say from firsthand experience that adversity fans the inner flame, but it should not be clung to for identity.

Psychology is a science vaguely applied to something that does not obey any rules or laws. Look at those resilient few that found their true invulnerability in concentration camps. A dead person can be mapped, manipulated, and predicted by psychology, but a living one is beyond all chains (diagnosis) or probability.

I haven't had an easy life. I have cptsd from years of struggle. I'm not pitying you. It's more that I know life can hurt. And that situation sounded like it hurt. Having your pain dismissed sucks. Particularly by fplk who are supposed to help. Even if a difficult life you can learn a lot from it doesn't mean you can't be sadden by pain. Or not work towards making life easier for yourself as you strive for a life of knowledge and one you can be proud of.

Life is difficult. Everything we can do to make less needless suffering for yourself and others is great. Yes difficulty can be good but sometimes it's hindering and can stop you from learning and growing. I've always said trauma didn't make me stronger but I grew despite trauma.

The reason I hugged you wasn't pity. It was more an understanding that I knew that a therapist dismissing you like that must've hurt. I'm glad you've grown despite the lack of help from them.

This ties into the op...
That's the point in diagnosises. To help solve problems and know how to deal with them.

Post automatically merged: Dec 28, 2024

It's not to chain you down but to help with understanding and help connect with other people with said issues and help each other grow. To help everything click in your mind and explain your struggles.

Post automatically merged: Dec 28, 2024

My diagnosis of autism has helped me immensely figure out how to navigate my disability so much easier then if I never knew of it

 

[Xenophon]

I once had a therapist tell me I was fine and that it was no longer nessecary for me to see her. It was then I found out that lots of "normal" fully functioning adults walk around with swirling black holes of misery and revulsion in their chest cavities, that its evidently a staple to grown-up existence to have life's natural course rip your heart out.

Thankfully it doesn't matter how you feel, you can act and be whoever you damn well please if you set the course and build the discipline to keep your hands on the wheel through the storm.

I've never gotten the whole "horror of everyday life" routine, beyond suspecting that it's a hangover from the Romantic era (all that Sturm and Drang and no place to go.) There are indeed many awful things. And man's kinds have been learning to deal with these from the aeons whilst Gynning gaped down till pretty recently. Say until modern media and social media made an entire lifestyle of parading problems in public. Then normies discovered the dirty joys of cultivating misery as a species of exhibtionism.

 

[IllusiveOwl]

I've never gotten the whole "horror of everyday life" routine,

Well our domesticated lifestyles prevent us from experiencing a lot of the realities of life that could set that vibe. A wolf pack eats the youngest to survive the winter, birds make lifestyles on eating the children of their neighbors, drug addicts commit crimes to pay for their next fix, more people live in literal slavery today than ever in the world, etc. There's a wild documentary showing the life of a family who's 3 generations are all working every day making bricks in the desert, all day every day.

There's lots to be upsetti spaghetti over, in comparison the goods and joys feel powerfully outweighed, especially when a lot of our creature comforts come at the direct expense of other creatures. When everyday life had been a horrorshow directly, some people refuse to unwind from that survival mindset and who could blame them?

Say until modern media and social media made an entire lifestyle of parading problems in public.

It is interesting, the mixed responses to people sharing how they feel. You're suggesting we revert to the good old times where men buckled it back and stuffed it down with brown?

 

[Shade]

ehh, I half agree - with the new DSM ofc autism is going to rise as people with adhd/add typically are on the spectrum, albeit usually more on the high functioning side, where as before they said that they did not have a connection. It is harder to calm the brain down during stimuli but things like visspana meditation or even zen type can help. An issue arises though when your brain is developing and a doc puts you on a large amount of amphetamines so that your brain doesn’t naturally fall into that concentrated state. Then it takes a lot more work to develop the skills Many people naturally develop. It’s on yourself to recognize how to correct the situation.
I think @IllusiveOwl put it well.

 

[IllusiveOwl]

when your brain is developing and a doc puts you on a large amount of amphetamines so that your brain doesn’t naturally fall into that concentrated state.

Not even drugs, high and consistent stress levels throughout childhood drastically alters the development of the brain too, making the whole "horror of everyday life" routine a lived and directly perceived experience, because the brain simply is developed to work in a high-stress, high-repulsive, high-danger environment. Falling into a normal calm life can be jarring after thar, ennui city.

 

[Shade]

Not even drugs, high and consistent stress levels throughout childhood drastically alters the development of the brain too, making the whole "horror of everyday life" routine a lived and directly perceived experience, because the brain simply is developed to work in a high-stress, high-repulsive, high-danger environment. Falling into a normal calm life can be jarring after thar, ennui city.

Very true… I never put those two together but that does have a very large impact.

 

[Xenophon]

Well our domesticated lifestyles prevent us from experiencing a lot of the realities of life that could set that vibe. A wolf pack eats the youngest to survive the winter, birds make lifestyles on eating the children of their neighbors, drug addicts commit crimes to pay for their next fix, more people live in literal slavery today than ever in the world, etc. There's a wild documentary showing the life of a family who's 3 generations are all working every day making bricks in the desert, all day every day.

There's lots to be upsetti spaghetti over, in comparison the goods and joys feel powerfully outweighed, especially when a lot of our creature comforts come at the direct expense of other creatures. When everyday life had been a horrorshow directly, some people refuse to unwind from that survival mindset and who could blame them?

It is interesting, the mixed responses to people sharing how they feel. You're suggesting we revert to the good old times where men buckled it back and stuffed it down with brown?

People who parade problems are identifying with problems, not dealing with them. Drinking is, at best, a short-term strategy. We are allegedly magi, no? Our alleged traditions and practices have nothing to say? As for psychology and the like, I had a hard-boiled old socialist* professor who would ask, "Are you sure you WANT to adjust to and 'function wel'l in this world?"

(*Beacon Hill, white wine and brie socialist, not National. That was her long-suffering husband.)

 

[IllusiveOwl]

We are allegedly magi, no? Our alleged traditions and practices have nothing to say?

We are yes, but the normal people who wallow and live in their miseries aren't equipped with perspectives wide enough to encompass their own perspectives and the cosmos at large. They are stuck within their personal narratives like astronauts who shit themselves, there's simply nowhere to escape to for a reprive, so its all that makes up their world and is all they ever have to talk about.

"Are you sure you WANT to adjust to and 'function wel'l in this world?"

That reminds me of that slapping quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

[Xenophon]

We are yes, but the normal people who wallow and live in their miseries aren't equipped with perspectives wide enough to encompass their own perspectives and the cosmos at large. They are stuck within their personal narratives like astronauts who shit themselves, there's simply nowhere to escape to for a reprive, so its all that makes up their world and is all they ever have to talk about.

That reminds me of that slapping quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

Yes, we have all had that experience. (And, sadly, some of us have inflicted it.) The guy who is so locked into whinging about hisself that he can't be bothered to actually follow any of the advice he solicits 24/7. The only cure is amputation from one's circle of acquaintances.