[Help] I Am In A Very Bad Situation About Occultism

[Anomander Rake]

I'm in a very bad situation. I'm struggling with everything related to occultism. Even if I wanted to, I just can't do it. I find it extremely difficult. I feel lazy. It feels way too heavy.

For example, the simplest thing: I used to meditate every single day. I used to feel an immense pleasure from meditation. It was like a drug. I wanted to meditate all the time. I never wanted to stop. I would do it several times a day. But now, even the thought of meditation feels incredibly heavy. Even if I force myself to start, I give up after a minute—I just can't take it. I can't even read books about occultism anymore. It feels too hard.

I do feel a bit more eager to doing magic, evocation and divination compared to other things, but still, something feels missing. I lack purpose. What would I do magic for? What do I even want? Since I can't find an answer, I can't do magic or reading either. About evocation or invocation... I guess I want to do it but since I didn't meditate for few months, I feel I can't. And like I said above, I cannot meditate to do evocation

My whole life, my most precious thing, has been occultism. So now I feel like my life is passing by completely empty. What should I do?

 

[Mannimarco]

I'm in a very bad situation. I'm struggling with everything related to occultism. Even if I wanted to, I just can't do it. I find it extremely difficult. I feel lazy. It feels way too heavy.

For example, the simplest thing: I used to meditate every single day. I used to feel an immense pleasure from meditation. It was like a drug. I wanted to meditate all the time. I never wanted to stop. I would do it several times a day. But now, even the thought of meditation feels incredibly heavy. Even if I force myself to start, I give up after a minute—I just can't take it. I can't even read books about occultism anymore. It feels too hard.

I do feel a bit more eager to doing magic, evocation and divination compared to other things, but still, something feels missing. I lack purpose. What would I do magic for? What do I even want? Since I can't find an answer, I can't do magic or reading either. About evocation or invocation... I guess I want to do it but since I didn't meditate for few months, I feel I can't. And like I said above, I cannot meditate to do evocation

My whole life, my most precious thing, has been occultism. So now I feel like my life is passing by completely empty. What should I do?

You say you still feel eager to do divination. What does your divination say?

 

[Anomander Rake]

You say you still feel eager to do divination. What does your divination say?

I didn't ask because I don't know what to ask and moreover, I can't read yet :/ I mean, I have not experience.

 

[hollowglasd]

take a break. breath a little. and put practice aside for a while. there is no rush. come back when the time is right. i myself took a years break from the occult and came back ready and refreshed open to new ideas and so on.
my best advice is take a break. the world still turns. go with it

 

[OberonFromTheHills]

take a break. breath a little. and put practice aside for a while. there is no rush. come back when the time is right. i myself took a years break from the occult and came back ready and refreshed open to new ideas and so on.
my best advice is take a break. the world still turns. go with it

I agree. Sometimes the best thing you can do is stopping and getting back at it later.

 

[Accipeveldare]

Take a break until you feel more grounded, my friend. That laziness you feel? It is ungroundedness. You need to build a solid foundation in the mundane before you fiddle with the metaphysical.

 

[Anomander Rake]

take a break. breath a little. and put practice aside for a while. there is no rush. come back when the time is right. i myself took a years break from the occult and came back ready and refreshed open to new ideas and so on.
my best advice is take a break. the world still turns. go with it

dude... it is so hard. Should I force myself till I can or just leave it be?

 

[Aeternus]

Take a break until you feel more grounded, my friend. That laziness you feel? It is ungroundedness. You need to build a solid foundation in the mundane before you fiddle with the metaphysical.

Exactly! The metaphysical cannot go without the solid foundation in the mundane and vice versa. There is the essential need of the intrinsic union between the two to achieve both metaphysical / spiritual success and also to not literally lose your marbles.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 10:28 PM

dude... it is so hard. Should I force myself till I can or just leave it be?

Do not force yourself till you can. Nothing will worke if you force yourself. Leave it be, the evolution will come naturally

 

[Anomander Rake]

Take a break until you feel more grounded, my friend. That laziness you feel? It is ungroundedness. You need to build a solid foundation in the mundane before you fiddle with the metaphysical.

my life is suck. But thank you for advice.

 

[Kepler]

Your situation reduced to signs on an initiatory path sound similar to when I approached the threshold of K&C. There was a locking in, a deep freeze, that there was a reason for on hindsight.
During which there wasn't any desire to deviate from the magical work along the fine taut golden thread.
Books that were once leading toward the goal, which were read eagerly, now repulsive for leading away.
There were other indicators too that all pointed to that same thing, but will stay to those listed in the op.

Mitigated with new interests and that helped by enriching but that would get locked in too.

If it's that then the momentum of your own initiation will in theory propel you, and your IFS parts, through eventually

Did you know an enchanted forest is a place of transformation?

 

[Anomander Rake]

Your situation reduced to signs on an initiatory path sound similar to when I approached the threshold of K&C. There was a locking in, a deep freeze, that there was a reason for on hindsight.
During which there wasn't any desire to deviate from the magical work along the fine taut golden thread.
Books that were once leading toward the goal, which were read eagerly, now repulsive for leading away.
There were other indicators too that all pointed to that same thing, but will stay to those listed in the op.

Mitigated with new interests and that helped by enriching but that would get locked in too.

If it's that then the momentum of your own initiation will in theory propel you, and your IFS parts, through eventually

Did you know an enchanted forest is a place of transformation?

Thank you. I really appreciate your comment <3 I hope it is like that, even though I don't think so.

 

[Kepler]

even though I don't think so.

I didn't either with mine at the time.
It wasn't even a consideration. With everything going on I thought the encounter hostile!
This definitely contributed to a defining aspect of my angelic experience as Jacobian.

 

[坛中一瓢雪]

Try taking a break and resting for a while. If delving into the occult is causing you pain, stepping back is a very wise choice, especially before any irreversible mistakes are made.

Try to discover the little beauties in everyday life. For instance, the weather is beautiful today, and my mood is just as bright. The flowers in my neighbor's yard are in bloom, bringing a breath of spring that fills me with joy, and letting inspiration flow within me once again. But remember not to rush things, for being too eager can often be counterproductive