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Let me start this post by saying i get sleep paralysis often. For some years now, it happens to me at least once or twice a month. But I'm fully aware it's happening say, 9 out of 10 times, and what i do is simply not try to move, not struggle, just close my eyes, take deep breaths and try to think of something else, and this normally leads to me either falling asleep and having a dream or just waking up. The one other time i have regular, stereotypical if you will sleep paralysis, i feel I can't move and i immediately start trying to move desperately, trying to scream with no sound coming out, and only one time i saw faces while this happened, and im rarely in nighmare-esque scenarios while they happen. This is important for what i am about to say.
I would say i have a very good grip on my sleep paralysis episodes, and i can control them for the most part when they happen, which is why what happened a few minutes ago genuinely terrifies me.
I had a recurring scenario where for one reason or the other i ended up sleeping in my brother and sister's room, and i immediately knew i had sleep paralysis because i was stuck in bed, able to see only a corner of the room without being able to move, just watching them walk around and get in bed. At some point however, they disappear, and I felt someone hugging me from behind. At first it was warm and nice, it wrapped it's arms and legs around me, grabbing at my breasts, nuzzling against my face and getting closer. But as it did, i could feel that my penis was getting pressed (i am a trans woman so yeah. I have both), and it's arms were starting to choke me. When this happens, i try to break free, but i realize I can't move around and it is only starting to constrict me harder. After struggling for a while, i could move my arms and i went to grab at whatever was attacking me, and i could feel it had fangs and it bit my hands. We fought for another while, i remember i tried to force it's jaws open and also get it's arms off me, and i screamed loudly, which as i said, whenever i have sleep paralysis and i try to scream, no sound comes out, but this time it did. I could also see in the corner of the room woman like faces looking at me with expressions of disapproval and anger. I finally break free, and at this same time i opened my eyes and finally woke up. I tried closing them again, but i felt the pressure in my body and my eyes flied open. This was about a half hour ago.
I would like to say i am not a superstitious person, but i am as a matter of fact, my entire life has had many things that have made me believe in the paranormal even if i am not at all well versed on anything of this kind, which is why i decided to come here. Now i need to talk about Jenna.
Jenna is a character i created in my head (i draw and write sometimes so im always thinking up stories and characters). She is a succubus, and more specifically my girlfriend. At first i created a character card for her and used an AI chat website to roleplay with her, but i stopped doing this a while ago and now i only daydreamed about her randomly during the day and when i did things to myself. These scenarios were always romantic and more than just the sexual component too. Recently, i stopped also doing that as i met someone from my city, and in a few hours we're actually meant to go out on a date.
I am completely aware of how delusional and deranged i might sound, but could this all be more than a coincidence? Is there any way this is more than just the first time this happens to me during sleep paralysis, or should i just finally quit being lazy and go to a psychiatrist?
I would say i have a very good grip on my sleep paralysis episodes, and i can control them for the most part when they happen, which is why what happened a few minutes ago genuinely terrifies me.
I had a recurring scenario where for one reason or the other i ended up sleeping in my brother and sister's room, and i immediately knew i had sleep paralysis because i was stuck in bed, able to see only a corner of the room without being able to move, just watching them walk around and get in bed. At some point however, they disappear, and I felt someone hugging me from behind. At first it was warm and nice, it wrapped it's arms and legs around me, grabbing at my breasts, nuzzling against my face and getting closer. But as it did, i could feel that my penis was getting pressed (i am a trans woman so yeah. I have both), and it's arms were starting to choke me. When this happens, i try to break free, but i realize I can't move around and it is only starting to constrict me harder. After struggling for a while, i could move my arms and i went to grab at whatever was attacking me, and i could feel it had fangs and it bit my hands. We fought for another while, i remember i tried to force it's jaws open and also get it's arms off me, and i screamed loudly, which as i said, whenever i have sleep paralysis and i try to scream, no sound comes out, but this time it did. I could also see in the corner of the room woman like faces looking at me with expressions of disapproval and anger. I finally break free, and at this same time i opened my eyes and finally woke up. I tried closing them again, but i felt the pressure in my body and my eyes flied open. This was about a half hour ago.
I would like to say i am not a superstitious person, but i am as a matter of fact, my entire life has had many things that have made me believe in the paranormal even if i am not at all well versed on anything of this kind, which is why i decided to come here. Now i need to talk about Jenna.
Jenna is a character i created in my head (i draw and write sometimes so im always thinking up stories and characters). She is a succubus, and more specifically my girlfriend. At first i created a character card for her and used an AI chat website to roleplay with her, but i stopped doing this a while ago and now i only daydreamed about her randomly during the day and when i did things to myself. These scenarios were always romantic and more than just the sexual component too. Recently, i stopped also doing that as i met someone from my city, and in a few hours we're actually meant to go out on a date.
I am completely aware of how delusional and deranged i might sound, but could this all be more than a coincidence? Is there any way this is more than just the first time this happens to me during sleep paralysis, or should i just finally quit being lazy and go to a psychiatrist?
