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Journal I'm feeling bogged down.

A record of a users' progress or achievements in their particular practice.

lumineth Realm Lord

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So, someone told me on here that they do they're meditations in the morning rather than at night. So, I've set an alarm for 6:00, and began meditating early in the morning. I didn't do a good job, and feeling bogged down over it.

Truth be told, I don't know what anyone actually does. I've been at this for 15 years, but I'm still a beginner. I should be doing spells by now, but I'm still doing meditations.

I wish I had a mentor. I wish I had a coven, or some people I can talk to about this IRL. But the closest shop is in the city, and the closest pagan group is in the next city over.

Before the move, I was part of a pagan group that hung out at a gothic night club. Now, I can't even find the goth, metal, or emo scene because it's in a city 2 hours away.

And no offense, but I've learned not to get too personal when it comes to these forums. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna post this.

I don't have any friends to hang with to get my mind off of stuff. I can't even make friends. I can't in school because of that whole early college thing. Can't go to bars because I think people think I'm creepy if I'm there on my own.

And also, autism autism autism. I might have ADHD. Autism autism autism. I just want to become a different person.

My life is not what it should be, and I'm so arrogant to think I can save someone else's? I'm just some loser who hides from the world because he doesn't feel welcome in it.
 

Yazata

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Changed the tag and moved to journals as this has nothing to do with occult discussion
 
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