I've spend all my life reading occultism books
Just nitpicking here a bit, but unless you started reading since your birth then you didn't "spend all your life reading books".
I still cannot make any kind if magic
You "can't" or you "can't be bothered with trying"?Yes, I know this sounds harsh.
I myself still haven't trying doing anything "magical" so far exactly because I am still learning(the things I've actually tried already are more towards psychic stuff and inner energy) but I know that I can make things happen once I try it.I
gotta think like that or else what would be the point of even entering this path then if all I would have for it were doubts?
Sure, magic is about self-development but everyone doing it also seek results from their own practices too, not only in themselves but in their own surroundings as well.
Sometimes you just have to be stubborn, no one becomes a professional at their role in a short time, and they most likely need to keep doing what they do every single day not only to upkeep their skills and knowledge, but also to get better day by day.
I am so afraid of ending up here telling everyone they are paranoid because they have habilities and i am feeling so envious.
Being envious of others for something you perceive them to have while you don't is natural, it isn't a problem as long as you don't start fights or discussions based only on your envy.Seems to me that you're more of the crowd that wants to believe in magic so bad, but at the same type want to see the results of the practices of others in order to "get confrimation" that it is real and attainable.
I think this speaks more of your own practice.
you need to find out what works for you and build on that
This.
Magic isn't a cookie cutter, at least to me it isn't.
What works for one might not work for another, reason why we have many systems too.
Because everyone wants to work with what works for them.
The icy kind you find at the bottom of the ocean.
Mariana Trench's level of bottomnes.
Forget all the other things you've read and read this:
Isn't this the second time you've posted this link in a discussion?At this point I think it would be better to post on the book shares.
you create your own Methods
Best option, to tailor suit things to your own desires and skills.