I'm getting results

[Irish Bard]

I may have just had a major breakthrough.

So I described in two previous threads how I created a ritual for discipline and a ritual for balance.

Here and here respectively:

Discipline one : Review my Ritual

Balance One:
An Equinox Affirmation

Now I thought the discipline one was working because I got a crap load of problems in work which I sailed though and maybe that was an effect.

BUT Something deeper has happened and I think the two have interacted.

I have a confession to make, it wasn't just about work discipline. I've been having a problem with online pornography and tonight I slipped back into the old habit.

One of the links I came across was a love scene from a movie God's Own Country and sure I was getting off on it.

But I felt compelled to watch the whole movie. It's beautiful, romantic, moving and cathartic. I cried after and it was just such an emotional release for me. I feel like something in me was blocked or distorted and now I feel so much lighter.

I also feel like I've been compelled to tell you all this To open myself up To the good side of online life.

You could do the whole rationalisation dance but I've never heard off this film until tonight (it's a low key indie movie). I've probably seen half the men on the internet at this point. Might sound like a joke but it isn't - that stuff erodes something in you and your humanity can whither.

I cannot tell you how much better I feel, I truly believe something guided me.

PS You should check the movie out if you get a chance. It's a powerful story grounded in real human emotions. A film to wake you up to what it means to be human, not keep you asleep.

Thanks as always my friends.

 

[SkullTraill]

Great to hear of your success!

 

[Irish Bard]

Great to hear of your success!

Thanks - I think you have to open yourself to the little signs and the personally meaningful moments. I don't think Magick is about million pound cheques landing in the letterbox or Ryan Gosling showing up for dinner.

It find it's own way to reach you.

 

[SkullTraill]

Thanks - I think you have to open yourself to the little signs and the personally meaningful moments. I don't think Magick is about million pound cheques landing in the letterbox or Ryan Gosling showing up for dinner.

It find it's own way to reach you.

Exactly!

 

[Konsciencia]

Hi, I like the fact that you actually went through the emotion. It's wonderful that you did your own self-pity party. As for me, I am working on my feelings as well. Learning to take better care of myself, and Love myself more. Take great care of yourself Irish bard. Many blessings to you.

 

[Irish Bard]

Hi, I like the fact that you actually went through the emotion. It's wonderful that you did your own self-pity party. As for me, I am working on my feelings as well. Learning to take better care of myself, and Love myself more. Take great care of yourself Irish bard. Many blessings to you.

Thanks graciously for the sentiment. I'm not sure about the 'self pity' part. I'd rather think of it as a transformative moment.

Taking care of yourself isn't self pity - remember a knife is only as useful as it is sharp. You have a responsibility to look after yourself so that you can bring the best to your responsibilities.

Don't fall into the societal trap that thinking about yourself is weak or selfish. It's necessary.

Take care G

 

[Konsciencia]

Thank you Irish bard for the tip. If I can't take care of myself, then who will? You know? Take great care of yourself. Many blessings!!

 

[Nana]

I may have just had a major breakthrough.

So I described in two previous threads how I created a ritual for discipline and a ritual for balance.

Here and here respectively:

Discipline one : Review my Ritual

Balance One:
An Equinox Affirmation

Now I thought the discipline one was working because I got a crap load of problems in work which I sailed though and maybe that was an effect.

BUT Something deeper has happened and I think the two have interacted.

I have a confession to make, it wasn't just about work discipline. I've been having a problem with online pornography and tonight I slipped back into the old habit.

One of the links I came across was a love scene from a movie God's Own Country and sure I was getting off on it.

But I felt compelled to watch the whole movie. It's beautiful, romantic, moving and cathartic. I cried after and it was just such an emotional release for me. I feel like something in me was blocked or distorted and now I feel so much lighter.

I also feel like I've been compelled to tell you all this To open myself up To the good side of online life.

You could do the whole rationalisation dance but I've never heard off this film until tonight (it's a low key indie movie). I've probably seen half the men on the internet at this point. Might sound like a joke but it isn't - that stuff erodes something in you and your humanity can whither.

I cannot tell you how much better I feel, I truly believe something guided me.

PS You should check the movie out if you get a chance. It's a powerful story grounded in real human emotions. A film to wake you up to what it means to be human, not keep you asleep.

Thanks as always my friends.

First off I loved that movie and really appreciated the way it dealt with self hatred without forcing me to be traumatized at the end. Second, congratulations on the success of your Work and this is clearly a success. Finally, thank you for sharing that intensely personal breakthrough. Our vices are not character flaws to be suppressed but opportunities to delve into the seedier aspects of the human condition to find healing instead of indulgence. It's been my observation that whole humans appear superhuman because they aren't defined by their failings and short comings but the lessons learned in facing those challenges and the achievements capable because of it.

 

[Mider2009]

Nice