Hello everyone, fairly beginning practicioner here. I am focusing on meditation before giving a serious try to other magickal practices as I have seen that I do not have enough focus to perform even basic sigil work. I am sure that what I am doing is working to some extent, but I want to know if you think my "routine practice" should go through some changes, and also if you think that what I do feel during meditation sessions is a sign of a correct transition to a meditative state.
Before meditation, I usually do a simple LBRP, though I don't consider it necessary and I just perform it to cleanse my own room.
My meditation starts as I lay down in a comfortable position (so that it is easier for me not to move) and close my eyes and stare into darkness of my eyelids. I also start a breathing exercise (4 seconds box-breathing) and when I start to get a little more comfortable I try to follow Quareia's Apprentice Book's First Meditation Exercise: pressing into my third eye (though I usually try not to) and focus on it, then visualizing white smoke coming in and black smoke going out; I also try to feel as if I am breathing through my entire body first, then through my third eye. When I exhale, if I really cannot focus, I mentally say "I am meditating"
I usually "achieve" no thoughts during the 4 seconds in which I am holding my breath and I am able to just observe the darkness mostly without any single thought.
It is during this state that I feel "something", though I usually just bring back my focus to the darkness.
I usually end sessions by just slowly opening my eyes and starting to slowly move my body. I usually follow with a final qabbalistic cross for good measure, then I usually go to sleep or eventually take a nap.
This is what I ask you:
Before meditation, I usually do a simple LBRP, though I don't consider it necessary and I just perform it to cleanse my own room.
My meditation starts as I lay down in a comfortable position (so that it is easier for me not to move) and close my eyes and stare into darkness of my eyelids. I also start a breathing exercise (4 seconds box-breathing) and when I start to get a little more comfortable I try to follow Quareia's Apprentice Book's First Meditation Exercise: pressing into my third eye (though I usually try not to) and focus on it, then visualizing white smoke coming in and black smoke going out; I also try to feel as if I am breathing through my entire body first, then through my third eye. When I exhale, if I really cannot focus, I mentally say "I am meditating"
I usually "achieve" no thoughts during the 4 seconds in which I am holding my breath and I am able to just observe the darkness mostly without any single thought.
It is during this state that I feel "something", though I usually just bring back my focus to the darkness.
- First of all, I feel myself "vibrating" as if there was an earthquake right under me. And this vibration is usually not constant, again it feels more like a really small earthquake.
- When observing the darkness, I sometimes see something which resembles stylized eyes, especially if I (mostly accidentally) start looking upwards or downwards; this destabilized me the first time (although I have also experienced this during the Qabbalistic Cross that preceded the LBRP; I do not recall seeing them in the Qabbalistic Cross after it) but I just ignore it now during meditation.
- I see concentrated bright lights similar to stars; again, I am not really shocked by them and I just go on with meditation.
- I once felt as I started vibrating from my left foot to the rest of the body. This was some weeks ago and I was not as "grounded" as I am now, so I quickly ended the session.
I usually end sessions by just slowly opening my eyes and starting to slowly move my body. I usually follow with a final qabbalistic cross for good measure, then I usually go to sleep or eventually take a nap.
This is what I ask you:
- Do you think, both from what I've described and from what I've experienced, that my meditation "technique" should be changed a bit?
- Do you think I'm following the right path to achieving deeper mental states? Are the experiences I have gone through normal?
- Lastly, do you think that the "eyes" I described are of a spirit or an entity in general or am I just overthinking?