the responsible response:
talk to your doctor/psychiatrist and make known your concerns. ask them if there are alternatives to medication.
what i really think (the dangerous response):
anti-depressants work on serotonin receptors by scarring the neuron effecting its ability to re-uptake any serotonin it sends to other neurons that doesn't get taken through the first signal. the popular belief amongst modern psychiatry is that depression and anxiety are caused by a neurochemical imbalance of serotonin and dopamine that works on a bell curve (so too little serotonin causes depression but too much serotonin also causes depression). Now I am no pharmacologist, doctor, or psychiatrist but as a magus I have a pretty vested interest in altered states of consciousness, neurochemicals, and how brain function effects perception and spend a lot of time digging around this kind of research. This chemical imbalance theory is just a theory (that in recent times is getting called into question more and more), and does not have a lot research studies backing the efficacy of this "serotonin imbalance causing depression" hypothesis. We see in most of these studies placebos effecting participants at the same rate as the anti-depressants and in some cases being more effective than the anti-depressant in the clinical case study.
Now for people who are familiar with the neurochemistry behind psychedelics and psychoactives they will know that a lot of the hallucinogenic properties are tied directly to the interplay between dopamine and serotonin re-uptake. Meaning that serotonin is pretty important in the function of altered perception. It is common knowledge amongst psychonauts that taking antidepressants will nullify most of the perceptive effects of tryptamines and phenathylamines and is suggested for the drug user to retire anti-depressants for approximately one month if they want the full effects of hallucinogens.
So what does this mean for magic? As magicians we play with and experience altered states of consciousness. Now I do not believe practical magic necessarily requires altered states of perception and consciousness. A spell is a spell. However for more advanced techniques, the magus needs to be trained in liminal skills, able to alter their state of perception and consciousness at will, and neurologically speaking... enforce different branwaves and neurochemicals. Having a foreign drug in the mind that actively works to scarify your neurons is probably not the best for the goals of the magus.
On top of this: mystics and magus across the historical record are frequently retrocasted as being either ocd, maniacs or bipolar. There may be some truth to this, perhaps these psychiatric diagnoses of rapidly oscillating moods and perceptions led men of the past into mysticism to explain their experiences. Whether it is the case or not, I can attest to the fact that through the process of initiation, meditation, and integration of the self one learns that most of the time, mild anxiety and depression or general mood disorders are more often than not spiritual illnesses and not the mental ones the secular world purports them to be. That through integrating the self, living in service of others, and in constant communion with God/the Kosmos one will be relinquished of these "diagnoses".
So the short answer is that: yes anti-depressants are going to effect your brain. sometimes the solution isn't a pill. the modern man is discontent because they have forgotten how to be human. you can relieve your depression through living a well rounded and well adjusted spiritual lifestyle.
INB4: people come in here and take offense to my stance against the use of psychiatric medications for anxiety and depression
