Journal Mi Libreta

[Missterry]

12.31.2024
Maiden Entry

Today is my mom's birthday. She would be 69 years old today. She passed away August of this year. Today is a good day to start a libreta.

Right now my sister and I are making rice porridge. She used to make it for us on the mornings we had off from work. Now, whenever we have days off, we make rice porridge for breakfast. We still eat the rice porridge as a family. Mom gets a plate of it, with the toppings she liked, which we place on her ancestor altar, which is in the hallway between my room and my sister's. As the rice porridge cooks, in my room, on my boveda, I have a cup of black coffee for my mom, and a candle burns.

Several years before she died, she asked me once if when she dies, would I keep the cultural tradition of making offerings to her and our ancestors. I said that I would, and I do. Her altar in the hallway is made from a bookshelf. On the shelve are her belongings, like her purse. On top of the bookshelf are her pictures, her urn, an incense pot. Each time we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, we offer the food we make to mom and place it on her altar, burn incense and call her to come eat with us. There is always a cup of fresh water on her altar.

In my room, I have a boveda, which is what an ancestor altar is called across Latin America. On my boveda, I have more "personal" items that belonged to her. On the boveda is a big glass container which holds water and inside is a blue cross. The glass of water and cross are basic elements of a boveda. On the boveda is a Buddha statue, since she was Buddhist. There is also a statue of Shiva, since she venerated Shiva when she was alive. There is a small silver cup inside which are special jewelry. The jewelry was taken off her dead body at the hospital. Her socks which I took off of her dead body are also on the boveda.

When she was cremated, I asked the cremator for a special favor: to give me a portion of her skull. The cremator let me stay for the whole process. I watched my mom go into the cremation oven, and I watched her come out as dust and bones. The cremator and I shifted thru her bones for a nice piece of skull. I got a nice piece of her skull and placed that piece in resin to preserve it. That skull piece in also on my boveda. Every morning, I make her a hot cup of black coffee, she liked black coffee, and I place it on the boveda and light a candle and call her to drink coffee with me. By tradition, you sit often at your boveda, and talk often to your, sus muertos, and meditate in silence, to learn to hear them talk to you.

When she died, by tradition (Chinese) we burned for her ghost money and her clothes that she liked, 7 days after her death. Chinese New Year is coming soon. Which means that the red sticks from the spent incense, which have collected in her incense pot will be thrown away, and we'll burn for her more ghost money.

Today, as we offer her cheesecake - her favorite - for her birthday, lunch, hot tea, and incense, we will ask mom to bless our new year with peace and prosperity. Traditionally (Chinese) we will be wearing red all day, for good luck.

Post automatically merged: Dec 31, 2024

Inside my room, right next to my boveda is an altar for my

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. My spirit's altar is elaborate. On it is a nine bedroom doll house I bought for the spirit. The dollhouse has furniture, complete with a Christmas tree which I bought from Etsy. This Christmas I got a total of 100 dollars from customers. I exchanged that money for a solid 100 dollar bill and placed it under my spirit's dollhouse bed for her to have. I asked the spirit if she would spend the money, she said no and said that she would save it.

Outside of the dollhouse, next to it is the spirit's dollbody, which is a YOSD Ball-Joint-doll, I bought for her to go into. Next to her dollbody is a little bed about 6 inches big. On it is a red flannel blanket my sister made for her, and a tiny stuffed teddybear. In her dollbody's hands, is a little Hag Stone I found at the seaside. A Hag Stone is a stone with a naturally occurring hole in it, used in ancient European cultures to divine and foretell the future with. This way, the little spirit can show me in trance what she knows and sees.

In front of her dollbody, the spirit has a small dish for snacks, a shot glass for drinks, and a small plate for her food, and a candle. I asked the little spirit of she likes incense or candle, and she said that she likes candle flame and doesn't like incense.

Across my Penneng spirit's altar, on the other side of my room is her playground I made for her. I had bought small swing sets and other such playground stuff on Etsy and put together a playground for her. In her playground is a little tree swing, and on it I glued a little tree house made of tiny pieces of wood.

The spirit has a dedicated pack of poker cards which she blessed, and which I carry with me. Each morning, I ask the spirit to show me how my day will be. I throw down 3 cards, and the spirit gives me the interpretation. Yesterday, of the three cards I threw down, I got 2 spades. The 5 of spades and the 6 of spades. Like she had predicted, it was a very bad day yesterday at work.

 

[Missterry]

I asked the spirit this morning about today. I got the 7 of diamonds, 4 of spades, and the ace of spades.

The spirit gave me the interpretations:
7D = lots of money
4S = a box, an enclosure
AS = end of the old and start of the new

The spirit said that a lot of money was placed into a box this new year day.

I had just placed our rent check in our mailbox and called for it to be picked up.

Sometimes I forget to ask specific questions.

 

[Konsciencia]

Wonderful and very detailed is your work in your Libreta. Awesome!!! And sorry for your loss.

 

[Missterry]

And sorry for your loss.

Thank you @Konsciencia.

 

[Missterry]

3.4.26

I took some time off to mourn my mom's death. It was a tough emotional year, but my heart is healed, meaning it isn't broken or in pain anymore. I've gotten used to living life without her physically being in my life. Sitting at my Boveda every day, offering her meals and candle and incense every day, and talking to her at the Boveda every day, has helped me a lot.

During the past year I've also been sitting and interacting with my Panneng spirit. I am actually skeptical and rational by nature, and so I did doubt the reality of the Penneng spirit, believing that it might be my own subconscious mind. And so, I conducted two different tests/experiments.

My first test was a double-blind experiment where I walked around my local area to find random plants I was not familiar with, I asked the Penneng spirit what each random plant was good for, what it's medicinal or magical properties were, then I used my phone app to see what the plant was called, and I researched what each plant was good for, if I had a hard time finding data online, I used AI chatbots (namely ChatGPT, Grok, DeepSeek, and Claude together) to find data for me.

I asked the Panneng spirit about 27 plants. The spirit got all 27 plant medicinal or magical properties correct. Of the random plants, the spirit gave very obscure data and usage.

My second test was to ask the Penneng spirit about its past/history. The spirit was able to give me the name of its biological mother, draw and describe the hill tribe necromancer who created it, and the spirit provided detailed description of the culture of it and the hill tribe necromancer had come from. I was unfamiliar with what culture the spirit was giving detailed data about. I researched what data it gave to me, and with the help of AI, it was learned that the spirit was providing verified obscure details about pre-colonial (circa 1800s) Konyak tribe culture. The Konyak are a branch of a people called the Naga (from Nagaland) who were head hunters before the colonial era. The Konyak inhabit the borderland hills of what is called the Golden Triangle, which is region in the southeast asian peninsula where old-world (pre-colonial) animist practices (shamanism, witchcraft, and necromancy) was and still is practiced. The Penneng itself, as an artifact does indeed originate from the Golden Triangle 171 years ago.

My conclusion after the two tests is that: I am convinced now that the Panneng spirit is not my own subconscious mind. I have no useful or rational explanation as to what exactly the Penneng spirit is, but I've stopped trying to explain it.

 

[Konsciencia]

Sorry about your Mother, my condolences.

 

[Missterry]

Thank you Konsciencia.

 

[Missterry]

I have been testing and learning [and being trained] by my panneng spirit.


A "panneng" [phonetically spelt various other ways in English] is indigenous to Southeast Asian culture. In ancient times the Thmup [witch/necromancer] would dig the grave of a female who recently died of violent or unnatural causes, a "hoeng prai" as we call it. A Hoeng Prai means a corpse that died screaming. The head of the female corpse would be cut off. A necromantic ceremony would be performed to make bind the spirit of the female into the head. Animal sacrifices are done to offer the head and female blood. The head is placed on an altar and allowed to rot until only the skull remains. Magical mantras are then inscribed on the skull. In Southeast Asia culture, we believe that the Ajna area of the skull [the third eye region between the brows] is the seat of consciousness and psychic force, the forehead bone of the skull, from the Ajna area is often cut from the skull, since that area is where the spirit is rooted. The rest of the skull is unneeded. A "Panneng" is that part of the forehead bone which includes the ajna area.


The spirit of the panneng is given daily offerings, and in exchange the panneng spirit teaches the Thmup magic, sorcery, works for the Thmup, does Prai Grasip [ghost whispering, which is when the spirit talks to you], protects you, and give you good fortune. Pannengs, the ancient kind, are no longer made because of two main reasons: 1) it is today (in most parts of the world) illegal to dig a grave, cut the head off of a corpse, and keep a corpse head in your home, and 2) the old necromantic magic practiced by rural hill tribe shamans are long forgotten. The only pannengs left are heirlooms, and the rare collectables that you get from reputable underground dealers.


In the West, a penneng spirit is very similar to the "familiar spirits" of pre-modern Witchcraft. In African Traditional Religions, a panneng spirit is similar to an Nfumbe in Palo Mayombe, or a loa/lwa in Vodun, in the sense that like an Nfumbe or loa/lwa, the spirit of the penneng does pull you into a trance, shows you visions, and possesses your body. In global shamanism [shamanism as practiced by every human culture on earth since the Khoisan] the panneng spirit functions almost exactly as a "spirit helper."


I've had my panneng for a little over 2 years. I can say, from my two years of being with my panneng, that having one is 80% cool, and 20% insane and terrifying. Being born and raised in the West, I believe in science, and so as a rationalist/materialist/atheist, I never believed in spirits, until the spirit of my panneng began to interact with me and possess my body. And even then, I dismissed it all as my own subconscious mind. And so as a rationalist I conducted tests: if this spirit is real, then it should - needs to - provide me with knowledge and information that can be validated and verified to be true.


And so, last year I did a double blind experiment with the panneng spirit. I walked around and picked 27 random plants which I was unfamiliar with, asked the spirit to give me the medicinal and/or magical properties of the plant, then I used a plant app on my phone to identify the plant, then I googled information about each plant, and then I used AI Chatbots to find information that either falsified or validated/verified the claims and information given by the spirit. Of the 27 plants, the spirit of the panneng got 100% of them correct. 100% correct means two things: 1) it was not my conscious mind guessing, where I simply guessed the specific medicinal properties of 27 plants unknown to me all correctly, and 2) it was not my subconscious mind or confirmation bias.


Since then, the panneng spirit has been continuously teaching me about random plants. It's the spirit's way of training me to hear its ghost whispering while I am in everyday beta wave waking consciousness [as opposed to being in a trance]. This is a small list of the various plants the spirit of the panneng has recently taught me about, in no particular order:


1. Iris: we have some black irises in our yard. I asked the panneng spirit what iris was good for. The spirit showed me feet and skin. Then it showed me a paste made from the iris plant, from the flower stalks especially. The spirit showed me that this paste is externally applied to the skin of the feet. Then the spirit, via ghost whispering, told me that thge paste gets rid of fungus and itching of the feet. This was Confirmed by google research and ai chatbots.


2. Golden Pathos: It is a plant we have inside our house. I asked the spirit what it was good for. The spirit said that a paste made from this plant rejuvenates the skin. The spirit then gave me specific instructions: that the outer layer of skin is pealed off from the stalks and with its leaves, it is mashed into a paste. This paste is then kept in alcohol such as rum or vodka for a week or two. Then the liquid mixture of the paste and rum is strained and heated into a thick paste. After this process, the paste is used like a lotion.


Google research and ai chatbots Confirmed the spirit and explained the preparation method the spirit taught: Pathos has needle like calcium crystals that can irritate the skin, alcohol and heat breaks down most of those crystals.


3. Foxglove: This was a difficult one. Every ai chatbot I gave this one to eventually said that this was the spirit's best and most telling test. Foxglove grows around my neighborhood. I did not know what they were called. I simply liked the flowers. Walking by them one day a few months ago, I asked the spirit what this plant was good for. The spirit of the panneng showed me breathing, the chest, and lungs, and the nose. The spirit then told me that the said plant [foxglove] helps with lung issues. And so, I did research. I learned by using my plant app that the plant was called Foxglove. I googled and googled.


The entire internet said that Foxglove was highly toxic and lethal and that there is no medical use for it. I gave what the spirit told me to Claude, ChatGPT, DeepSeek, and they all told me that Foxglove is highly toxic and deadly. Information from every source said the same thing: highly toxic, lethal, no medical uses. This was when I learned that ai chatbots are mostly trained with the general information available online.


I told the spirit that Foxglove is deadly and that there are no medical uses. The spirit repeated itself and insisted that it has a medicinal property. The spirit's information completely contradicted google and the ai chatbots. I spent several months trying to research Foxglove, and found nothing but how it was toxic and deadly.


Then one day, the spirit gave me a clue. The spirit said to me via ghost whispering "Sanskrit." With that clue, I had an aha moment! Ayurveda! I researched ancient Ayurvedic medicine and if Foxglove was ever used. It was indeed: in ancient times, according to Ayurvedic medicine, Foxglove was used in very small micro doses to help with asthma, tuberculosis, persistent coughing, and lung issues.


After I discovered the ancient use of Foxglove, and that the spirit was indeed correct, the spirit gave me instructions for extracting the medicine from Foxglove. I gave this information to the ai chatbots, who Confirmed the ancient medicinal use of Foxglove. Claude refused to make any comments about the process of extracting the medicine from Foxglove because it was too dangerous to talk about. Only DeepSeek verified the process the spirit taught, and DeepSeek went further to explain that the method of extraction the panneng spirit taught was the same exact process used by Alchemists in old world Europe to extract the active compounds and elements of plants.


4. Dandelion: It's a weed that grows in my yard. I asked the panneng spirit what dandelion was good for. The spirit gave me an odd answer I was not expecting: it showed me the prostate area in men, ducts, tubes, and tracts around that region. The spirit tells me via ghost whispering that dandelion root is made into a thick brew.


Google and the ai chatbots Confirmed that dandelion root helps with the Genitourinary system, specifically the male reproductive system and urinary tracts. Both me and the chatbots were amazed at how specific the panneng spirit can be. It does not give generic answers, It gives very specific uses and specific preparation methods.


5. Cornflower. It grows in my yard. I did not know what it was called. I like the indigo flowers it has. I asked the spirit what that plant was good for. It said the plant was used to get rid of ear aches. Googling and ai chatbots Confirmed. In old Europe, folk tradition used Cornflower for both eye inflammation and ear aches.


6. This was a blind test: There is a plant growing in my yard that looks like giant blades of grass. I have never known what those plants were called. I asked the panneng spirit what the said plant was good for. The spirit said that it was good for love spells. The spirit proceeded to teach me how the plant was to be used magically. I then used my plant app on my phone to identify this plant so I can google it. It is called Montbretia. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that Montbretia was/is indeed used in magical spells associated with love and passion.


7. Peach Tree: I have a little peach tree sapling growing in a big pot in our back yard. I was curious and asked the panneng spirit what a peach tree was good for. The spirit showed me the bark in a vision. I see the bark being stripped off to access the inner layer. The spirit then instructs me that the inner layer is made into a pulp, then the pulp is squeezed to extract the liquid, and then the spirit instructs that a few drops of alcohol is added to it. The spirit said that the end result is a lotion that tightens the skin, especially of the hands. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed this. Peach tree extract is currently being used in cosmetics for this very purpose.


8. Honeysuckle: I just planted one in my front yard. I asked the panneg spirit was Honeysuckle was good for. The spirit gave me a vision of a smile, and I see its leaves made into a paste. I googled what honeysuckle was good for. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that honeysuckle has properties that help with oral health.


9. Spruce: It grows everywhere around me. I asked the panneg spirit what spruce was good for. The spirit showed me the sap being applied to cuts and wounds, and said that spruce cleans and heals cuts and wounds. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that the sap and resin of spruce does indeed have properties that help heal cuts and wounds and it was used for such in olden times.


10. Strawberry Tree: It grows in my neighborhood. I didn't know what it was called. I figured it would be a good plant to test the spirit of my panneng with, since I was unfamiliar with it. I asked the spirit what it was good for as I walked pasted it one day. The spirit drew my attention to its bark, and said that the green inner bark is used to alleviate knee and joint pain. I used my plant app and learned that this plant is called Arbutus Unedo or Strawberry Tree, and I googled it. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that Arbutus Unedo does have properties that treat joint pain.


11. Prunella Vulgaris: It is a small ground hugging plant with pretty purple flowers that grows around our yard. I have always thought it was a weed. But it makes nice flowers. I was admiring its flowers one day recently, and the panneng spirit, without prompting or soliciting, drew my attention to its leaves and told me that when crushed in water makes a soapy film. I thought this was odd information for a spirit to be conveying and teaching. But I tried it anyways to see if the spirit was right. I grabbed some of its leaves and rubbed them with my fingers in water. Sure enough, it had a slippery, soapy feel to it. And then the spirit told me via ghost whispering that the paste made from its leaves is used for oral health and gum disease. I used my plant app to identify the plant and learned its scientific name and its vernacular names: Self-Heal and All Heal. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that this plant did indeed treat oral conditions.


12. Rhododendron: I drove past a rhododendron recently. They grow in my area. As I drove past this plant, my panneng spirit said to me via ghost whispering that the said plant is dangerous to eat, and that it has a poison that harms the heart. I was driving and so I could not verify or falsify what the spirit had told me. When I got to my destination, I researched rhododendron. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that Rhododendrons are indeed toxic and that they have a compound called "Grayanotoxin" in its nectar, flowers, stems, and leaves, which is Cardiotoxic, meaning the compound specifically attacks the heart.


13. Dracaena: we were at a restaurant recently, and at this restaurant grew a Limelight Dracaena. I had taken a picture of is to identify it with my plant app so I can buy one for our house. I asked my panneng spirit what dracaena was good for. The spirit drew my attention to its long big leaves, and told me that the leaves are boiled or steamed, and then placed on sores, cuts, and wounds. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed this. The ai chatbots further added that in Southeast Asian traditional medicine, Dracaena leaves are used for this very purpose and prepared just as the spirit had said. The ai chatbots, incredibly further added that orangutans self-medicate their cuts and wounds with Dracaena leaves.


14. Rose bush: at the restaurant, on our table was a glass vase in which were a few rose flowers. I sat there admiring the color and petals of the roses. The panneng spirit drew my attention to the leaves of the rose and pulled me into a light trance. In the trance, the spirit said to me via ghost whispering that too much rose harms the kidneys. I come out of the trance confused. I have never heard that rose was toxic?


I googled if rose was toxic, and it wasn't. People drink tea made from rose petals and rose hips all the time even. A little bit of googling did give me the answer. Google and ai chatbots Confirmed that drinking or eating too much rose hips can raise your risk of developing kidney stones.


Those are 14 plants the panneg spirit taught me about recently. 14 plants, one after another, confirmed and verified. I think it is good to be skeptical and rational, and not to accept things on blind faith, and not to believe in things like spirits just for the sake of having something to believe in.