Journal Nigredo.

[Accipeveldare]

After a long time of running from my past. I believe it is time to turn towards the relentless wave and allow it to crash into me and consume me.
I have felt the signs. A deep exhaustion in the mind and the muscles. Anxieties coming to the surface, paranoia. Memories of who i once was, and how i got to where I am now.
I believe it is time to dissolve these old patterns. These protective shields. I thank the part of me that created them, as I had no other choice back then, but they are outdated now, and I must throw them into the fire.
It is long overdue that I do this. That I confront myself, and accept myself.

I was right in my last posts. I had not even begun The Work. Here is the beginning to what I am meant to be, and the end to who I once was. May whatever or whoever is listening bless me with a harmonious and seemless transition. No matter how painful it may be.

 

[Aeternus]

After a long time of running from my past. I believe it is time to turn towards the relentless wave and allow it to crash into me and consume me.
I have felt the signs. A deep exhaustion in the mind and the muscles. Anxieties coming to the surface, paranoia. Memories of who i once was, and how i got to where I am now.
I believe it is time to dissolve these old patterns. These protective shields. I thank the part of me that created them, as I had no other choice back then, but they are outdated now, and I must throw them into the fire.
It is long overdue that I do this. That I confront myself, and accept myself.

I was right in my last posts. I had not even begun The Work. Here is the beginning to what I am meant to be, and the end to who I once was. May whatever or whoever is listening bless me with a harmonious and seemless transition. No matter how painful it may be.

I am praying for you that your transition will be a seamless one. May the Universe bless you in this very transforming endeavor

Use the flower of Life as a symbol to remind you of the natural cycles and grounding in your journey.

 

[Accipeveldare]

I am praying for you that your transition will be a seamless one. May the Universe bless you in this very transforming endeavor

Use the flower of Life as a symbol to remind you of the natural cycles and grounding in your journey.

The only question I have. Is it normal to be this confused? Am I even supposed to know the way forward? Or should I just sit and let it all pass? This is very unknown territory.

 

[Aeternus]

The only question I have. Is it normal to be this confused? Am I even supposed to know the way forward? Or should I just sit and let it all pass? This is very unknown territory.

Well, I passed through my stage of Nigredo / Blackening when the time was necessary to do so, of course. The idea is, in somewhat a surreal thing that you will often find the way forward without knowing the way forward... let me break it down for you:

In Carl Jung's works and Alchemy, Nigredo represents Blackening / Putrefaction. This means that your old self, the ego, the illusion that held you captive, what no longer serves you and your purpose in life, etc. will be removed to make space for the new version of everything.

Feeling confused is really normal as Nigredo involves questioning your own beliefs. It involves confronting the shadows, the aspects in the subconscious and the deep psyche. The best thing to do, besides using the Flower of Life symbol for grounding, is to sit and let it all pass. Do not rush things, no matter how tempting it may be. Waiting is worth the key. The important result is that you are not dying or anything... rather... you are transforming.

Tips for using the Flower of Life symbol:

1. Take deep breaths (as long as needed) and meditate on it visually (trace the symbol with your eyes or focus on it and keep it in your mind's eye) and chant mantras for grounding like Lam (the sound for the Muladhara Chakra), Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, and Sa Ta Na Ma (Birth, Life, Death, Renewal). While you repeat the mantras, the symbol (in your mind's eye), should be visualized as emitting a deep blue color that engulfs your whole energetic body, bringing you to the state of calm and serenity.

2. Connect with the Flower of Life symbol in a more metaphorical way by focusing on all things related to order, scheduling, Life itself, the Earth element (meditation on it is the best).

I would also advise to not stress to much on rushing to discover the result after the working. Let it do its process and discoveries / enlightenment will come when the energetic body will evolve after the journey. Signs of Enlightement will include: Being comfortable by discarding something that no longer served you, expanding your belief system more profoundly and also having deep happiness doing so, confronting a deep fear, vice... trauma.... etc... / your shadow aspect.

One last thing I would advise, besides the grounding techniques I gave is to also avoid over-indulging in occult materials. By this I do not mean for you to leave the occult path, I really do not. What I mean though is that you should focus on more of the non-occult things than before. It is important do so in order to not have a way too chaotic mess. For this I also recommend the following meditation:

Sit calmly and take deep breaths (as long as needed), then visualize yourself sitting in a library. The library is full of books of all sorts, scattered, the pages are here and there. Take a deep breath (or more depending on how much you sense you need) and affirm: "I am calm and in control of my thoughts". While saying that, visualize how the books are not scattered anymore, the pages are ordered, and your thoughts far more centered. This should help you focus on the occult while traversing the Nigredo stage you are going through

 

[Accipeveldare]

Well, I passed through my stage of Nigredo / Blackening when the time was necessary to do so, of course. The idea is, in somewhat a surreal thing that you will often find the way forward without knowing the way forward... let me break it down for you:

In Carl Jung's works and Alchemy, Nigredo represents Blackening / Putrefaction. This means that your old self, the ego, the illusion that held you captive, what no longer serves you and your purpose in life, etc. will be removed to make space for the new version of everything.

Feeling confused is really normal as Nigredo involves questioning your own beliefs. It involves confronting the shadows, the aspects in the subconscious and the deep psyche. The best thing to do, besides using the Flower of Life symbol for grounding, is to sit and let it all pass. Do not rush things, no matter how tempting it may be. Waiting is worth the key. The important result is that you are not dying or anything... rather... you are transforming.

Tips for using the Flower of Life symbol:

1. Take deep breaths (as long as needed) and meditate on it visually (trace the symbol with your eyes or focus on it and keep it in your mind's eye) and chant mantras for grounding like Lam (the sound for the Muladhara Chakra), Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, and Sa Ta Na Ma (Birth, Life, Death, Renewal). While you repeat the mantras, the symbol (in your mind's eye), should be visualized as emitting a deep blue color that engulfs your whole energetic body, bringing you to the state of calm and serenity.

2. Connect with the Flower of Life symbol in a more metaphorical way by focusing on all things related to order, scheduling, Life itself, the Earth element (meditation on it is the best).

I would also advise to not stress to much on rushing to discover the result after the working. Let it do its process and discoveries / enlightenment will come when the energetic body will evolve after the journey. Signs of Enlightement will include: Being comfortable by discarding something that no longer served you, expanding your belief system more profoundly and also having deep happiness doing so, confronting a deep fear, vice... trauma.... etc... / your shadow aspect.

One last thing I would advise, besides the grounding techniques I gave is to also avoid over-indulging in occult materials. By this I do not mean for you to leave the occult path, I really do not. What I mean though is that you should focus on more of the non-occult things than before. It is important do so in order to not have a way too chaotic mess. For this I also recommend the following meditation:

Sit calmly and take deep breaths (as long as needed), then visualize yourself sitting in a library. The library is full of books of all sorts, scattered, the pages are here and there. Take a deep breath (or more depending on how much you sense you need) and affirm: "I am calm and in control of my thoughts". While saying that, visualize how the books are not scattered anymore, the pages are ordered, and your thoughts far more centered. This should help you focus on the occult while traversing the Nigredo stage you are going through

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.