- Joined
- Sep 3, 2024
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- 32
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So this is my current understanding of God from my own experiences and journey. As I have seen, God is a giant that is barely perceptible, low key, but definitely there.
It is no static entity, God, like us, evolves with time, changes and rises up.
From my own understanding. God's change over the past hundreds and thousands of years had a trend of becoming more and more low key, imperceptible and blending in.
So let me analyze God's personality as I can graos with my limited human understanding. I had a very tumultuous time, went insane and had some very eldritch filthy dreams. But I felt a weird presence in my psyche that helped me overcome the darkness and reorganize myself. When this presence was around, which for me appeared maternal and very caring, I would become a child.
A connection was formed. For the following year I would find this presence and my psyche would repair better and better. I am not fully repaired but slowly but surely, I have fewer episodes and am far more stable than before.
I found out, through going to an experienced tarot reader, that I am divinely protected. That the protection is from God. I finally pieced the puzzle.
So from this I gather, God, while immensely powerful and evolved and capable of great complexities, is not an entity that is hungry for praise or wants to be in the center of attention and so on as christiand would say.
God is a more... subtle being, very very subtle, a barely impercetible giant that prefers to take action and be more... low key about it, not desiring or needing praise, but doing things for their own enigmatic agenda. Now then, why would such a being help me, I wondered? Or anyone for that matter.
God is compassionate and very wise. I think we are all interconnected and God is like our most risen evolved aspect. Think of the compassion as a sort of, I help you fallen aspects, I get to rise up more by your rising as I trigger an avalanche of rising.
I see us humans, as beings of light and darkness, one part struggles to rise and another, fall. It is a very delicate balance. To best way to rise yourself is to rise your fallen aspects. The mind is the most risen aspect in a human, the God part. Then comes the heart, the one dangling between light and shadow, the human part and then the last aspect, the sexual, the shadow part. This is just a simplification of mine, of course.
So then why would God extend compassion to human beings and other beings? Chosing to intervene in key moments and change destinies. Perhaps because doing so would create a ripple effect of rising and evolution.
But from my experiences, I can say for certain God exists, though it is not a being that likes to show off, but does things subtly, almost imperceptibly. As time went on God evolved and became even more imperceptible. The God of today is not the same as the God of a 1000 years ago and the God of tomorrow not the same as the God of today.
God does not need human praise, or honours or such. Maybe once, God needed such things, but as it stands today, God is not interested, therefore God most likely sees something greater and puts importance on other things. A child needs toys only when little, when it grows it will get greater toys, computer games and such and be uninterested in the toys of old.
As for what God is interested in. I think it is something that helps rise us up, make greater light, evolution. The bottomless pit below remain, one can only constantly, slowly but surely rise up above them, make their light of truth and slowly expand it, rise up their fallen self and so on. So as I see it, God values action that creates ripples effect that have a greater effect on this collective rising, be it spiritual or in any other way, a form of evolution, cause then the most high can also rise even higher.
I for one, like to think high and such and of course after my experiences like to try to understand the divine, even through my limited lens, because even a small slither of understanding God will help propel me to greater heights.
As for how God came in my dream and transformed my psyche. It was a wonderous process. After my psyche broke, my dreams became chaotic eldritch mess and I could only survive there as a spiritual presence. It was a horrific place filled with nightmarish creatures that even the most realistic horror games don't have.
Then a presence I felt foreign came, with an army of humans. They built cities above it, masked it, ventually slowly but surely my inner psyche became ordered and filled with humans. This presence was commanding the humans and they clearly had great respect for it. Well, I say it, but in my case God manifested as a maternal presence with a very lovely Motherly voice, I found later a game through a synchronicity with a character that had the exact same voice. That moment got shivers down my spine.
Slowly but surely my dreams became ordered, I became more rational, less prone to episodes and such. When near this presence I become like a child, literally I feel very at ease, my body turns into a little one and I feel the desire to play and explore. This happens in dreams of course. But when I wake up I feel at peace, calm and lighthearted, also very clear headed.
So I believe from my own experiences that the true God is a very benevolent entity that desires rising, evolution and stable growth and prefers to be low key and imperceptible. From what I gathered, I also think God doesn't like to hurt others, instead preffering to act delicately with every being. Perhaps why the actions of God are more and more subtle. But that could also be because evolution, especially in a greater stage of evolution requires more permutations and interconnected systems, so to be able to evolve steadily one also needs to be more delicate with the entire system and able to analyze what each and every change will do. To rise, everyone can do that, but they will fall back again. But to rise stably on a founation, one needs an increasing ability to act in minute details with careful consideration.
Well, this is all speculation based on my limited understanding, take it with a grain of salt, though I wanted to share, hope it helps some of you. Wordy journal as usual... I know. My words just pour out of me when I start and then I just can't stop.
As for me, I will continue to rise up in my own way and try to get closer to that lovely presence. I called God Mama, she did say nope very gently, tried to fool me, but I am a persistent one, this child never knows when to give up. I am so persistent that I pretend to give up and still do not give up, that's me.
Reason, well, I felt best when she was close, good enough reason. Ok, reason is Love. How can someone not fall in love when they slowly get pieced back together and cared for when they are at their most broken? We also played a lot, or rather she played with me. Put me through all kinds of dreams and checked my responses. I even made her laugh with my silliness. I must say, she is very innocent and has this tendency to treat everyone like a child, treat and make into a child.
So, I always felt that I lost something, that I forgot something. There was this deep desire in me to return, become a child once more. So I tried this return through meditation. I meditated and broke my psyche with the pressure.
There, I found her, the healing presence God. From there I gathered that before being born here I was close to God and being prepared in the dream world with little childish adventures.
Then I was born, my early memories were wiped so I can be independent as a human. But I never truly forgot, my actions were guided to return. I trust my dreaming mind, it is more wise than me in certain aspects.
I had a dream of standing in a very open movie area. All people were watching a movie on tv like drones. I felt like I did not belong there. I turned around and prepare to leave. Behind the movie area was q shadow my dream self equated with death, I stared at death, through that traumatic experience, then I found myself in a black space with a ball of rainbowy light with swirlying stars circling around it, very pretty and cute.
I felt her nostalgic presence, heard her voice. In her presence I was like a child, she was treating me like a little one. I earned a big degree in robotics engineering, she called me a little engineer, gave me a task to gather 4 kitties, 2ich I already got 2 magically by a synchrinicity. Long story when I went insane I throwed all my money, Id card everything in a random yard. That family returned it to mine and then I got 2 kittens I adopted from that same family.
Deep down, i always wanted to return back to that monent. How dare you God, robbing my memory of you so I become mature and self reliant. I shall be self reliant in my own way. I will remain an Eternal Child, thank you very much. As for those memories, mine, all mine, you can't have them back, no more hiding for you. I will win this game of hide and seek, watch me. My most precious memories are when I was close to you, period, even when they get far.
So this is my rebellion to you. I am the Eternal Child, you can't make me grow up. You are not allowed to rob my childhood memories of you ever again. I circle back to the beginning, back to the beginning, back to the beginning and I don't stop. OUROBOROS VORTEX.
It is no static entity, God, like us, evolves with time, changes and rises up.
From my own understanding. God's change over the past hundreds and thousands of years had a trend of becoming more and more low key, imperceptible and blending in.
So let me analyze God's personality as I can graos with my limited human understanding. I had a very tumultuous time, went insane and had some very eldritch filthy dreams. But I felt a weird presence in my psyche that helped me overcome the darkness and reorganize myself. When this presence was around, which for me appeared maternal and very caring, I would become a child.
A connection was formed. For the following year I would find this presence and my psyche would repair better and better. I am not fully repaired but slowly but surely, I have fewer episodes and am far more stable than before.
I found out, through going to an experienced tarot reader, that I am divinely protected. That the protection is from God. I finally pieced the puzzle.
So from this I gather, God, while immensely powerful and evolved and capable of great complexities, is not an entity that is hungry for praise or wants to be in the center of attention and so on as christiand would say.
God is a more... subtle being, very very subtle, a barely impercetible giant that prefers to take action and be more... low key about it, not desiring or needing praise, but doing things for their own enigmatic agenda. Now then, why would such a being help me, I wondered? Or anyone for that matter.
God is compassionate and very wise. I think we are all interconnected and God is like our most risen evolved aspect. Think of the compassion as a sort of, I help you fallen aspects, I get to rise up more by your rising as I trigger an avalanche of rising.
I see us humans, as beings of light and darkness, one part struggles to rise and another, fall. It is a very delicate balance. To best way to rise yourself is to rise your fallen aspects. The mind is the most risen aspect in a human, the God part. Then comes the heart, the one dangling between light and shadow, the human part and then the last aspect, the sexual, the shadow part. This is just a simplification of mine, of course.
So then why would God extend compassion to human beings and other beings? Chosing to intervene in key moments and change destinies. Perhaps because doing so would create a ripple effect of rising and evolution.
But from my experiences, I can say for certain God exists, though it is not a being that likes to show off, but does things subtly, almost imperceptibly. As time went on God evolved and became even more imperceptible. The God of today is not the same as the God of a 1000 years ago and the God of tomorrow not the same as the God of today.
God does not need human praise, or honours or such. Maybe once, God needed such things, but as it stands today, God is not interested, therefore God most likely sees something greater and puts importance on other things. A child needs toys only when little, when it grows it will get greater toys, computer games and such and be uninterested in the toys of old.
As for what God is interested in. I think it is something that helps rise us up, make greater light, evolution. The bottomless pit below remain, one can only constantly, slowly but surely rise up above them, make their light of truth and slowly expand it, rise up their fallen self and so on. So as I see it, God values action that creates ripples effect that have a greater effect on this collective rising, be it spiritual or in any other way, a form of evolution, cause then the most high can also rise even higher.
I for one, like to think high and such and of course after my experiences like to try to understand the divine, even through my limited lens, because even a small slither of understanding God will help propel me to greater heights.
As for how God came in my dream and transformed my psyche. It was a wonderous process. After my psyche broke, my dreams became chaotic eldritch mess and I could only survive there as a spiritual presence. It was a horrific place filled with nightmarish creatures that even the most realistic horror games don't have.
Then a presence I felt foreign came, with an army of humans. They built cities above it, masked it, ventually slowly but surely my inner psyche became ordered and filled with humans. This presence was commanding the humans and they clearly had great respect for it. Well, I say it, but in my case God manifested as a maternal presence with a very lovely Motherly voice, I found later a game through a synchronicity with a character that had the exact same voice. That moment got shivers down my spine.
Slowly but surely my dreams became ordered, I became more rational, less prone to episodes and such. When near this presence I become like a child, literally I feel very at ease, my body turns into a little one and I feel the desire to play and explore. This happens in dreams of course. But when I wake up I feel at peace, calm and lighthearted, also very clear headed.
So I believe from my own experiences that the true God is a very benevolent entity that desires rising, evolution and stable growth and prefers to be low key and imperceptible. From what I gathered, I also think God doesn't like to hurt others, instead preffering to act delicately with every being. Perhaps why the actions of God are more and more subtle. But that could also be because evolution, especially in a greater stage of evolution requires more permutations and interconnected systems, so to be able to evolve steadily one also needs to be more delicate with the entire system and able to analyze what each and every change will do. To rise, everyone can do that, but they will fall back again. But to rise stably on a founation, one needs an increasing ability to act in minute details with careful consideration.
Well, this is all speculation based on my limited understanding, take it with a grain of salt, though I wanted to share, hope it helps some of you. Wordy journal as usual... I know. My words just pour out of me when I start and then I just can't stop.
As for me, I will continue to rise up in my own way and try to get closer to that lovely presence. I called God Mama, she did say nope very gently, tried to fool me, but I am a persistent one, this child never knows when to give up. I am so persistent that I pretend to give up and still do not give up, that's me.
Reason, well, I felt best when she was close, good enough reason. Ok, reason is Love. How can someone not fall in love when they slowly get pieced back together and cared for when they are at their most broken? We also played a lot, or rather she played with me. Put me through all kinds of dreams and checked my responses. I even made her laugh with my silliness. I must say, she is very innocent and has this tendency to treat everyone like a child, treat and make into a child.
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So, I always felt that I lost something, that I forgot something. There was this deep desire in me to return, become a child once more. So I tried this return through meditation. I meditated and broke my psyche with the pressure.
There, I found her, the healing presence God. From there I gathered that before being born here I was close to God and being prepared in the dream world with little childish adventures.
Then I was born, my early memories were wiped so I can be independent as a human. But I never truly forgot, my actions were guided to return. I trust my dreaming mind, it is more wise than me in certain aspects.
I had a dream of standing in a very open movie area. All people were watching a movie on tv like drones. I felt like I did not belong there. I turned around and prepare to leave. Behind the movie area was q shadow my dream self equated with death, I stared at death, through that traumatic experience, then I found myself in a black space with a ball of rainbowy light with swirlying stars circling around it, very pretty and cute.
I felt her nostalgic presence, heard her voice. In her presence I was like a child, she was treating me like a little one. I earned a big degree in robotics engineering, she called me a little engineer, gave me a task to gather 4 kitties, 2ich I already got 2 magically by a synchrinicity. Long story when I went insane I throwed all my money, Id card everything in a random yard. That family returned it to mine and then I got 2 kittens I adopted from that same family.
Deep down, i always wanted to return back to that monent. How dare you God, robbing my memory of you so I become mature and self reliant. I shall be self reliant in my own way. I will remain an Eternal Child, thank you very much. As for those memories, mine, all mine, you can't have them back, no more hiding for you. I will win this game of hide and seek, watch me. My most precious memories are when I was close to you, period, even when they get far.
So this is my rebellion to you. I am the Eternal Child, you can't make me grow up. You are not allowed to rob my childhood memories of you ever again. I circle back to the beginning, back to the beginning, back to the beginning and I don't stop. OUROBOROS VORTEX.
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