Hmm. I'd say magic was a come and go my entire life. First real interest sparked in me in my early teens, it was somewhere between a game and real practice, and then I saw things that convinced me to actually believe it. Then, after a few years, it started to be scary. By my mid-twenties I somehow cut myself out from anything magical, it seems to have been some sort of defensive mechanism: if you don't believe, don't see, don't hear, don't sense — it can't hurt you. A year ago it came back and since then I'm trying to figure out why I have all that and what should I do with it (given that I was never really successful in spells, just seeing stuff).
Throughout the year I was trying divination, connection with my spirits, little spells, improving my vision. Some things work. Some don't.
What I want to gain? Money. (So far got none
)
Is this why I have some "powers"? Definitely not.
Why do I really have them? No fucking idea.
So as of now, I pretty much am where I left off years ago. I see, I sometimes sense, I started to hear, but this time I'm not scared anymore.
No practical use, just curiosity and gentle (or sometimes not so gentle) reminders from spirits to get my shit together and practice. But to do that properly I need some answers I don't get yet.
