Putting a curse on my stepson to get a job?

[PinealisGlandia]

My stepson causes me stress. He's 26 and couchsurfing with strangers because my wife and I told him he had to have a job to live with us and he refuses. When pressed, he claims he has his own business selling art and music, but he doesn't put the energy into it necessary for a business, it's a hobby. On top of that, he's convinced he knows the law from watching sovereign citizen videos on the internet (he doesn't call himself a sovereign citizen, but he showed me paperwork he filed indicating that the all lowercase version of his name filed a lein against the all upper case version of his name for $32,000,000,000, which is right up sovereign citizen belief system). So in his own words, he doesn't have to work because he's this close to having access to the secret Social Security treasury account in his name that we all have access to.

He burns himself and cuts himself and comes over to our house with them on his body and blasély admits to doing it, but when we tried intervening, the police told us since he didn't say he wants to kill himself, they can't put him in a mental health hold.

I know the young man needs mental health help and stable work (I have nothing against starting your own business, but he lived here for three months and only recorded music using licensed beats he can't publish, that tells me it's a hobby; he's made his own music from scratch before, he just doesn't like doing it. His words.). After he moved out from our place he didn't talk to us for about a month and it was the middle of winter so we were worried about him. I burnt a bunch of cedar under a photograph of him and the next day we got an update on how he was doing and a couple days later he came by to apologize for being an asshole while he lived with us. Now I'm looking for the next step.

My practice is eclectic, so I'm open to any suggestions besides just having a conversation with him, that's already been tried to death. I'm calling it a curse because the ritual goes against his will, but obviously it's for his benefit. The goal of the ritual is for him to get stable work and mental health help.

Tools I have available include:

• Small candles of almost every color
• Cedar, sage and tobacco.
• Speakers that can fill the house with tones/music
• Paint and canvases
• All sorts of shiny stones

Simple tools that cost less than $5 may be considered, i.e if it's an herb missing from my pantry. Otherwise I'll substitute, i.e playing a chime on the speakers instead of purchasing a chime.

My go-to would be a sigil on a painting, but I'm lacking inspiration. I usually use the method of reducing from a simple phrase just to consonants, then arranging those consonants in a shape and abstracting that into art, or else simply borrowing symbols like runes and combining them based on the meaning/outcome I'm after. But I'm usually doing majiq for myself, and I'm struggling to reduce this to a simple enough phrase to sigilize. Any suggestions on ritualwork to perform are appreciated. Any suggestions on what my stepson should do will fall on deaf ears so please focus on the majiq aspect of this.

 

[AbammonTheGreat]

I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laughing from the lein on his own name.

So I think what you're dealing with, even if with good intentions, is messing with someone's free will which will magically backfire on you. This is why targeted love spells are generally avoided by experienced practitioners and why people don't cast spells on drug addicts to get sober (because the magic doesn't solve the core issue it just exacerbates the issue by blocking off its regular manifest and channeling it into a different maladaptive avenue).

The wise approach to dealing with loved ones who are just not getting it is to provide fortune and protection spells (to try to mitigate their bottoming out) while working on our own personal issues with accepting them for where they are at (this is done alchemically, contemplatively, or through meditation).

What you can do to help further his own path, or bring him into the light so to speak, is appeal to a spirit or godform to help him. However it is largely his decision to walk through the door when presented with the opportunity for change. Solar spells are great for "illuminating" someone's mind. These can be done with any gold (jewelry) laying around the house and sandalwood incense.

I am a magical father as well and as tempting as it can be to use our abilities to "help" our children we have to understand as magus that when we take magical shortcuts we rob someone of their personal journey and development. Ultimately stunting their life path. You can tell your kid not to touch the stove all you want but every once in a while you gotta let them burn themselves to get the picture.

 

[PinealisGlandia]

I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laughing from the lein on his own name.

So I think what you're dealing with, even if with good intentions, is messing with someone's free will which will magically backfire on you. This is why targeted love spells are generally avoided by experienced practitioners and why people don't cast spells on drug addicts to get sober (because the magic doesn't solve the core issue it just exacerbates the issue by blocking off its regular manifest and channeling it into a different maladaptive avenue).

The wise approach to dealing with loved ones who are just not getting it is to provide fortune and protection spells (to try to mitigate their bottoming out) while working on our own personal issues with accepting them for where they are at (this is done alchemically, contemplatively, or through meditation).

What you can do to help further his own path, or bring him into the light so to speak, is appeal to a spirit or godform to help him. However it is largely his decision to walk through the door when presented with the opportunity for change. Solar spells are great for "illuminating" someone's mind. These can be done with any gold (jewelry) laying around the house and sandalwood incense.

I am a magical father as well and as tempting as it can be to use our abilities to "help" our children we have to understand as magus that when we take magical shortcuts we rob someone of their personal journey and development. Ultimately stunting their life path. You can tell your kid not to touch the stove all you want but every once in a while you gotta let them burn themselves to get the picture.

While I appreciate your response, and I like the idea of illumination majiq and may use that, I kind of already know the advice against curses and casting spells to "get an addict sober". But consider the hypothetical addict who unconsciously wants to get clean, but doesn't say that out loud or acknowledge it consciously. Is it still against their will to give them a majiqal "nudge", if it aligns with their higher goals? I say curse tongue-in-cheek, because I really am looking for a prosperity spell for him. I don't give a damn if he flips burgers or sells radios or paints on canvas, I just want him to develop some hustle.

 

[Faria]

Any suggestions on what my stepson should do will fall on deaf ears so please focus on the majiq aspect of this.

At least acknowledge that your hard line policy about paychecks is placing him into a less safe position, possibly surrounded by influences that increase danger.

He is probably not going to get a job no matter what kind of spell you do. Have you considered supporting him as an artist and giving him garage space and some encouragement?

Maybe look into getting him on government benefits for his probable serious mental issues. He will get a monthly check and you won't have him sleeping on some tweaker's couch.

Do you personally know any successful artists? If not, maybe go to some art fair type events and meet some, find out what makes them successful and what your stepson can use for himself. If you want to use magic on yourself, maybe find a way to understand art as a viable career and then share that with him.

 

[PinealisGlandia]

At least acknowledge that your hard line policy about paychecks is placing him into a less safe position, possibly surrounded by influences that increase danger.

He is probably not going to get a job no matter what kind of spell you do. Have you considered supporting him as an artist and giving him garage space and some encouragement?

Maybe look into getting him on government benefits for his probable serious mental issues. He will get a monthly check and you won't have him sleeping on some tweaker's couch.

Do you personally know any successful artists? If not, maybe go to some art fair type events and meet some, find out what makes them successful and what your stepson can use for himself. If you want to use magic on yourself, maybe find a way to understand art as a viable career and then share that with him.

He put himself in a less safe position. I told him that life with us would get less comfortable if he didn't get a job. He moved out. This was after three months of supporting his artistic ambitions. I paid for a year membership for him on distrokid for him to post his music online. My cousin who is already an established artist had a full album of free beats that he pointed him to and he didn't want to use them. He doesn't want government benefits for his obvious mental health issues because he thinks that accepting a mental illness label will limit him. Encouraging his art was us showing him how to get self-employment ledgers for SNAP so he could fill them out for his art business and still get benefits. He didn't fill those out and lost his food stamps and medicaid as a result. That's what I'm saying, we already did all the obvious stuff.

My dad is an artist for his career. He's also a tradesman. As he's gotten older, he's financed the ability to direct more of his business to the artist side of his skillset. He runs his own business. And he works 60 hour weeks typically, sometimes 80. My son does not have that drive. I want to see him have the drive to work a 35 hour a week burger flipping job and buy his own damn cigarettes before he commits to running his own business. I want him to have enough of a sense of routine that he knows what day of the week it is.

From the outside it's easy to see his self-destructive behavior and how there are multiple avenues to correct it, but he has to correct it himself. All I'm looking for here really is a solid physical catalyst for the symbolic act of (to put it in loosely gnostic terms) pneumatically pushing a bit of divine essence into him to get him to see he has something to gain by engaging with the surface level of the world a bit. He's on a spiritual path and knows it, but he's totally ungrounded and constantly changing his associations around because he's got nothing concrete to attach them to.

Maybe you'd understand my intention better if you read "get a job" as "get a job to finance your dreams or else start treating your dreams as a job so they become real". Personally the self-harm factor plus other factors makes me think he needs medication of some kind that I'm not professional enough to prescribe, but I'd feel a lot better if he wasn't a mendicant in the USA. Is it really my karma to watch my kid go through the most humbling experiences possible? If so, I'm pretty sure karma is also what you do, so there's a parental responsibility to intervene. But the right way to help isn't just to be a crash pad with free food, cigarettes and cleaning services. He's a grown man who was raised, in some way or another, he's capable of taking responsibility and needs to be.

 

[8Lou1]

Becoming of age and accepting you need to take responsibility for a living body isnt always easy. I got 2 kids myself and the first thing we did when they turned 18 (legal adulthood here) was making them pay rent. If you can show/feel what it means to be a leech, he might get a better hang of what not to do on his journey. If hes a bit like my kid, he prob moved out cause he doesnt wanna get help but do it himself. And does not wanna 'hurt' his folks. We also left the kids home alone with pocket money when me and my husband went on holidays (and granny in the background). The first time was scary but in the end they wanted us on holidays themselves and even payed for them so they could play home alone and live their way. After that we, the adults, gained enough trust in them to let them move out. Never forget the deep fear human parents have for loosing a kid. even if its just into adulthood.

Family magick also means everybody is involved. a grumpy teenager, even if he/she is 26, IS annoying. set up some magick that would make family dynamics better, more mature and everybody responsible. and keep it that vague, so every member can find a spot they like. magick is ment to change the world. id say use it, but may i remind you to look over your shoulder cause i see a 26 teenager being THAT strong spiritually that he makes his dad open up on an online forum to get new spiritual input. you dont need to do that for him, just as he doesnt need to do stuff for you. (and he does) leave the need, feel the working together on family, kick his ass there in that realm where he nags you and keep it there, so the change can be in the now.

and last but not least: if a 26 year old stepson makes you wanna do magick and heal the crap out of him, please start calling him your son cause its what those feelings mean.

Post automatically merged: May 23, 2025

oww and think outside the box. make the dude cook once a week or something. put a lock on his bedroom and give him the key to his new 'home', etc.

 

[Faria]

Personally the self-harm factor plus other factors makes me think he needs medication of some kind that I'm not professional enough to prescribe, but I'd feel a lot better if he wasn't a mendicant in the USA.

I have never been a fan of medication. I dont think it helps, comes with other risks, and really just makes people feel like they're doing what the authorities expect.

I've seen quite a few people in his position, maybe its a generational thing. After many years of offering every manner of advice and assistance, it is my opinion that most of them will never get a job no matter how sweet the pay. They lack motivation or sufficient executive functioning to act on what motivation they do have. They could, they should, but they won't and they can't be forced into it even under threat of severe consequences.

Of those in my own experience, some ended up homeless. A couple of them went to jail. None have achieved creative success. Most are wards of their parents, some have equivalent support systems. Most receive $600 mental disability checks monthly. They do not wish to work, any work, and they refuse to be persuaded.

Having tried many times to intervene in all that, in ordinary and occult ways, I have found through much frustration that it's better to just let them be basement dwelling losers than have them live in a crack house with sketchy people destined for prison. No amount of opportunity makes a bit of difference, so the best that can be done is to adapt to it. Pressuring them to change does not work, neither does showing them how they would be happier with a job.

Again, your best bet with magic is to find a way for you to adapt to this work refusal as his permanent reality.

 

[SkullTraill]

Reminder to stay on topic by giving the OP what he asked for: help/ideas on magick he can perform for his stepson to find employment/stability. NOT advice on how to parent, or any other type of high horse grandstanding shit. OP has a goal and you either help him with that goal, or you don't. You do not need to change his mind or discuss the validity of his goal.

OP: I have never really done work like this for anyone else, but I encourage you to look into Bune as they are known to make significant changes to the target's life in order to achieve a specific goal. Just make sure to specifically exclude yourself and your wife from harm.

I'm struggling to reduce this to a simple enough phrase to sigilize

SON WILL BE EMPLOYED
SNWLBMPYD

Vodou/spirit work also feels like it would work, but again, no experience with this.

If you find something that works, please report back.

 

[Faria]

You do not need to change his mind or discuss the validity of his goal.

I dont believe that the stated goal can be achieved through magic. I say this after making several similar attempts over a long period of time and in a variety of ways. When people refuse to get a job, trying to force them to want to get a job with magic doesn't work. Protect them, support them, find them success doing what they actually do feel like doing, sure, but placing curses on your lazy kids will not help them.

 

[SkullTraill]

I dont believe that the stated goal can be achieved through magic. I say this after making several similar attempts over a long period of time and in a variety of ways. When people refuse to get a job, trying to force them to want to get a job with magic doesn't work. Protect them, support them, find them success doing what they actually do feel like doing, sure, but placing curses on your lazy kids will not help them.

Then don't reply with unsolicited advice.

 

[Lurker]

I am kind of reluctant to weigh in here because it's such a sensitive subject, but here goes.

Can you ask your son outright if he wants magickal help with his problems? If he says yes, that could short circuit the whole issue of violating his free will.

Either way, I recommend divination before taking magickal action. A pendulum can give you yes or no answers, and you need something like tarot (or maybe I Ching) to show you the complexities in the outcome. Then you will have a better understanding of how this all might turn out, and whether you really want to move forward with it.

Solar spells are great for "illuminating" someone's mind. These can be done with any gold (jewelry) laying around the house and sandalwood incense.

I like this idea a lot. If he has an epiphany, all the better. Again, that could negate having to violate his free will going forward.

I know you don't care if he gets a job flipping burgers, but Ideally, any job he gets should relate to his long-term interests. That way he might actually hold onto it, and maybe even grow into success. If he gets a job doing something menial he's liable to just quit or get fired, and then you're back where you started.

Good luck, whatever you do.

 

[HoldAll]

What you can do to help further his own path, or bring him into the light so to speak, is appeal to a spirit or godform to help him. However it is largely his decision to walk through the door when presented with the opportunity for change. Solar spells are great for "illuminating" someone's mind. These can be done with any gold (jewelry) laying around the house and sandalwood incense.

This has actually been the best piece of advice so far, I'say. I'd like to add the following thought: I know you used 'curse' in a figurative sense but I think you should think of your planned magical operation as of a blessing instead of as a curse. There are so many examples for famous people who only began to bloom after overcoming an initial phase of turmoil and chaos that you'd be forgiven to think that youthful excess was virtually a mandatory prerequisite for genius and success.

What I would suggest is a change of tack. Even if you succeed in imposing your own value system on the young man, the danger here is that he'll rebel (subconsciously?) against such an alien mindset, making him even more confused and prone to blindly lashing out. I myself used to be quite headstrong when I was younger and categorically refused any advice coming from older people. The mere thought that there was now another voice in my head, telling me to conform and settle down like a responsible adult would have been just about unbearable to me and driven me nuts.

Qabbalistically speaking, such a blessing could involve Tiphareth in line with @AbammonTheGreat's advice (solar, the Sun, sandalwood, yellow, the heart, the number six, etc. - you seem to be experienced enough to work out the appropriate correspondences and construct a pertinent ritual). You are still shooting for a change of behaviour in him but this time it would take the form of an organic evolution than of coercion. While the desired end result remains the same, the approach is different and less radical.

Of course you don't have to change your own day-to-day behaviour and style of interacting with your stepson from now on and force yourself to be all compassionate and indulgent, bearing in mind that it's one crisis after the other with him that may require drastic interventions from time time; while such a solar-inspired beneficial evolution in him, magically triggered by your blessing, may be slow, I think it's more likely to lead to success as his defenses against such gentle external influence are probably lower.

The general idea is not to change him but to allow him change himself, in his own way and in his own style of personal development; your blessing would only get the ball rolling in the appropriate direction, so to speak.

 

[PinealisGlandia]

Can you ask your son outright if he wants magickal help with his problems? If he says yes, that could short circuit the whole issue of violating his free will.

I asked him the other night and he said yes, so I guided him through @AbammonTheGreat's illumination spell. He has a gold bracelet so I had him annoint it in cedarwood oil (I substituted for sandalwood with what I had on hand).

This has actually been the best piece of advice so far, I'say. I'd like to add the following thought: I know you used 'curse' in a figurative sense but I think you should think of your planned magical operation as of a blessing instead of as a curse. There are so many examples for famous people who only began to bloom after overcoming an initial phase of turmoil and chaos that you'd be forgiven to think that youthful excess was virtually a mandatory prerequisite for genius and success.

[...]

The general idea is not to change him but to allow him change himself, in his own way and in his own style of personal development; your blessing would only get the ball rolling in the appropriate direction, so to speak.

Definitely the track I'm on. And yes, I am thinking of it as a blessing, when my tongue is out of my cheek.

SON WILL BE EMPLOYED
SNWLBMPYD


If you find something that works, please report back.

I'm probably going to use that phrase for a sigil, illumination spell has been performed. Only immediate results were he came over and complained about the people he's living with blowing m*th in his dog's face. Which I'm taking as a minor win, because recognizing what's wrong with his living situation is an early step to correcting it. Not exactly a huge win, but these things take time.

 

[System Error Message]

Hi, there is nothing wrong with your son. Today's world is just that bad that many are finding it pointless or a waste of effort to even try to get a salaried job. Your push for him to have a stable job doesnt help either as thats the wrong way to go about it.

What you need is for your son to have both a job and to pursue various other means of income, becoming financially literate as well and knowing to spend time doing side hustles and investing.

What you need isnt a curse but i suggest pitching to the angel Aphiel though difficult is one of the angels that can change fate and set things in motion. Sitael is known to be good for careers. In truth you need to be able to motivate and educate to help encourage, coupled with a few practices to improve fate and help move events around into favourable ways. Angels are one way thats difficult especially aphiel. Would not recommend working with other beings in general either. Normally for this i just use direct magick and just make what i want happen. There are psi practices here regarding events that could help.

Im not one who likes astrology or rituals as you seem to practice. Your son just has good intuition and instincts regarding the world and how bad things are right now. Its a good sign, and i can tell you from experience things are really really tough right now.

 

[Lurker]

I asked him the other night and he said yes, so I guided him through @AbammonTheGreat's illumination spell. He has a gold bracelet so I had him annoint it in cedarwood oil (I substituted for sandalwood with what I had on hand).

Definitely the track I'm on. And yes, I am thinking of it as a blessing, when my tongue is out of my cheek.

I'm probably going to use that phrase for a sigil, illumination spell has been performed. Only immediate results were he came over and complained about the people he's living with blowing m*th in his dog's face. Which I'm taking as a minor win, because recognizing what's wrong with his living situation is an early step to correcting it. Not exactly a huge win, but these things take time.

Hey, that's good news! I'm happy for you and your whole family. It's good to know things have started moving in the right direction.

 

[PinealisGlandia]

Hi, there is nothing wrong with your son. Today's world is just that bad
[...]
Your son just has good intuition and instincts regarding the world and how bad things are right now. Its a good sign, and i can tell you from experience things are really really tough right now.

First off, you really skimmed past the self-harm. Not to mention the stuff I didn't write, like how he burnt my cat's whisker's while I was at work because the cat was staring at him and he thinks that Thor bodyjacks my cat to harass him.

Second, you really need to police your mental space better. If you think the world is crap, it's because you consume crap, mentally speaking. The world is not only just fine, it's better than ever. Violent crime is down, infant mortality is down, luxuries are more accessible than ever. Stop watching Investigation Discovery and touch grass.

 

[System Error Message]

First off, you really skimmed past the self-harm. Not to mention the stuff I didn't write, like how he burnt my cat's whisker's while I was at work because the cat was staring at him and he thinks that Thor bodyjacks my cat to harass him.

Second, you really need to police your mental space better. If you think the world is crap, it's because you consume crap, mentally speaking. The world is not only just fine, it's better than ever. Violent crime is down, infant mortality is down, luxuries are more accessible than ever. Stop watching Investigation Discovery and touch grass.

when i say crap im talking economically or opportunities. I know the situation when someone acts out or does something different and i've been through self harm before. However like i mentioned when you have an inkling about the future, about the way the world is you are bound to be depressed when you start knowing how people are and how the future will be. You'll also have the instinct and drive to do your own thing.

My world view is enforced by both effort and experience, for instance i could say half the people in the world are evil, why? because they accept misinformation and proceed to harm other innocent or people who arent evil with many using that to demonise other good people such as in todays conflicts and recently, demonising covid vaccines. This is an issue i grapple with daily with the people around me that make things difficult too.

This severely limits the type of occult i can practice, But being good at direct magick means i dont need any physical acts to do anything supernatural. Ofcourse there is 1 type of motivation that i use but that doesnt work with everyone thats why i gave advice which is instead helpful or better in a non magick sense. Before you seek a magick solution there are multiple things to try first before taking the magick route. Not saying not to but you're missing some things

 

[PinealisGlandia]

when i say crap im talking economically or opportunities. I know the situation when someone acts out or does something different and i've been through self harm before. However like i mentioned when you have an inkling about the future, about the way the world is you are bound to be depressed when you start knowing how people are and how the future will be. You'll also have the instinct and drive to do your own thing.

My world view is enforced by both effort and experience, for instance i could say half the people in the world are evil, why? because they accept misinformation and proceed to harm other innocent or people who arent evil with many using that to demonise other good people such as in todays conflicts and recently, demonising covid vaccines. This is an issue i grapple with daily with the people around me that make things difficult too.

This severely limits the type of occult i can practice, But being good at direct magick means i dont need any physical acts to do anything supernatural. Ofcourse there is 1 type of motivation that i use but that doesnt work with everyone thats why i gave advice which is instead helpful or better in a non magick sense. Before you seek a magick solution there are multiple things to try first before taking the magick route. Not saying not to but you're missing some things

Yeah, economically there are plenty of opportunities. FFS, McDonald's pays $14.50 an hour, that's almost twice what I made at my first job. And I'm not old. You are mixing cause and effect. When you are depressed, you see a twisted version of the future filtered by your mental illness. Depression does not give you a more clear view on reality, much the contrary.

He doesn't have an instinct or drive to do his own thing though. You'd know that if you read the thread, but you didn't. Same as how if you read the thread, you'd know that I already have done the non-majiqal things and am pursuing majiq as a last resort. If you want to improve the world because you think people relying on misinformation is evil, the first step to correcting that is to inform yourself. Reading the contents of a thread you're replying to before replying would be a good way to do that.

 

[System Error Message]

Yeah, economically there are plenty of opportunities. FFS, McDonald's pays $14.50 an hour, that's almost twice what I made at my first job. And I'm not old. You are mixing cause and effect. When you are depressed, you see a twisted version of the future filtered by your mental illness. Depression does not give you a more clear view on reality, much the contrary.

He doesn't have an instinct or drive to do his own thing though. You'd know that if you read the thread, but you didn't. Same as how if you read the thread, you'd know that I already have done the non-majiqal things and am pursuing majiq as a last resort. If you want to improve the world because you think people relying on misinformation is evil, the first step to correcting that is to inform yourself. Reading the contents of a thread you're replying to before replying would be a good way to do that.

not if you live in a 3rd world.

Yes i didnt read all of the posts in the thread. My points however are still relevant. 1) some education like i mentioned on doing multiple things 2) some entities can really change things. If i had said education and help before it would help. In your case you have a physical chance, its not the same in my case.