- Joined
- May 2, 2026
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 6
Hello, everyone.
In this first thread — I have already introduced myself in the appropriate section—, I will endeavour to be concise though this has never been among my virtues.
The subject line, which attempts to summarise the content, ought to convey a great deal on its own. Yet some foundational context is necessary. Only five years ago I was a sceptic, until my return to the Christian ‘yoke’. Although I come from a part of Spain with a stronger tradition of devotion and fidelity to Catholic institutions, my family, while Christian, is apatheist —removed from any liturgical practice—. I underwent a process of intense, eager expectation when I was compelled to move to another city to begin my university studies.
Despite achieving excellent academic results, I felt a certain emptiness in the landscape I began to perceive around me, which deepened my stance of profound aversion toward the modern world. An aversion that led me to embrace traditionalist frameworks
Accustomed to hearing praise from peers and professors in appreciation of my performance, I felt that this was not enough — nor did it elevate my Being toward something that might, in itself, truly demonstrate the orientation of any talent toward a higher end.
I was conscious of my finite condition. That any personal achievement would vanish with my death, given that few human figures manage to survive partially in History. Yet even everything ultimately submits to oblivion, dissolving into the progression of events that, in the manifested domain, leads to the death of the Universe — on which Asimov wrote a brief work.
My days became distressing. I was aware of how weak the structures around me were also —not just me—: my World could fall in a few decades, whether it is called the West, Europe or, simply, Spain. The exploits of my predecessors and any culture founded on a noble cause can end up buried in a matter of decades of degeneration.
Weeks later, my discouragement subsided for the better. Not so did my vocation, where I wanted to be a paladin in the service of a greater commander, whether his name was Deus, Jehovah or Iupitter.
On my way to a class lesson, I felt a sensation of trance, where I sensed that something would happen. What is a sign for me today came a few minutes later, when I was in the classroom…
In the school attendance application, the randomly generated code was made up of the following figures: 636665.
It goes without saying what a segment of this series means, preceded by another with which I identified in this time of emotional expansion. That 63, for me, had a connection with my Baptism date —I was a Christian then— and what I was able to know, after months, as the gematric number linked to my name, knowing that the Beast —which shows in the series a dual opposition with mine— also has equivalents with some people or corporate brands with hidden symbology.
Although this helped to reconcile and find meaning —the fruits of which Thomas Aquinas spoke— I now find myself in what seems like a process of apostasy that I do not know how it should be resolved. The point is that I belong to a country historically aligned with Catholicism, where the existence of any reconstructionist body is testimonial. What unites me to Christianity is nostalgia and a certain symbolic curiosity, but on a dogmatic level I have serious problems with its canon. I was attracted to another tradition or organized religion that History did not treat kindly: Zoroastrianism.
For some reformists, this was due to the degeneration of the priestly caste. My own view is that its extreme effort to account for theodicy did not spare it from being preyed upon by proselytising religions. But that is another matter.
I should say that these have not been serious manifestations, nor even frightening ones. To some, they will be mere apophenia, to use the secular terminology. I can recount what I have witnessed over these past weeks, during which there have indeed been preternatural occurrences in the dwelling of the city to which I have now moved. However, I do not wish to prolong this first post any further, as it is already too lengthy. I only wish to hear your opinions, setting aside the recent events —which are owed to another person's desire for invocation, someone who is not even a 'counter-initiate'…—. Yet they preceded me in the residence.
I apologise if I have been unable to confine the text to a reasonable length. I consider that everything I have included was necessary.
In this first thread — I have already introduced myself in the appropriate section—, I will endeavour to be concise though this has never been among my virtues.
The subject line, which attempts to summarise the content, ought to convey a great deal on its own. Yet some foundational context is necessary. Only five years ago I was a sceptic, until my return to the Christian ‘yoke’. Although I come from a part of Spain with a stronger tradition of devotion and fidelity to Catholic institutions, my family, while Christian, is apatheist —removed from any liturgical practice—. I underwent a process of intense, eager expectation when I was compelled to move to another city to begin my university studies.
Despite achieving excellent academic results, I felt a certain emptiness in the landscape I began to perceive around me, which deepened my stance of profound aversion toward the modern world. An aversion that led me to embrace traditionalist frameworks
Accustomed to hearing praise from peers and professors in appreciation of my performance, I felt that this was not enough — nor did it elevate my Being toward something that might, in itself, truly demonstrate the orientation of any talent toward a higher end.
I was conscious of my finite condition. That any personal achievement would vanish with my death, given that few human figures manage to survive partially in History. Yet even everything ultimately submits to oblivion, dissolving into the progression of events that, in the manifested domain, leads to the death of the Universe — on which Asimov wrote a brief work.
My days became distressing. I was aware of how weak the structures around me were also —not just me—: my World could fall in a few decades, whether it is called the West, Europe or, simply, Spain. The exploits of my predecessors and any culture founded on a noble cause can end up buried in a matter of decades of degeneration.
Weeks later, my discouragement subsided for the better. Not so did my vocation, where I wanted to be a paladin in the service of a greater commander, whether his name was Deus, Jehovah or Iupitter.
On my way to a class lesson, I felt a sensation of trance, where I sensed that something would happen. What is a sign for me today came a few minutes later, when I was in the classroom…
In the school attendance application, the randomly generated code was made up of the following figures: 636665.
It goes without saying what a segment of this series means, preceded by another with which I identified in this time of emotional expansion. That 63, for me, had a connection with my Baptism date —I was a Christian then— and what I was able to know, after months, as the gematric number linked to my name, knowing that the Beast —which shows in the series a dual opposition with mine— also has equivalents with some people or corporate brands with hidden symbology.
Although this helped to reconcile and find meaning —the fruits of which Thomas Aquinas spoke— I now find myself in what seems like a process of apostasy that I do not know how it should be resolved. The point is that I belong to a country historically aligned with Catholicism, where the existence of any reconstructionist body is testimonial. What unites me to Christianity is nostalgia and a certain symbolic curiosity, but on a dogmatic level I have serious problems with its canon. I was attracted to another tradition or organized religion that History did not treat kindly: Zoroastrianism.
For some reformists, this was due to the degeneration of the priestly caste. My own view is that its extreme effort to account for theodicy did not spare it from being preyed upon by proselytising religions. But that is another matter.
I should say that these have not been serious manifestations, nor even frightening ones. To some, they will be mere apophenia, to use the secular terminology. I can recount what I have witnessed over these past weeks, during which there have indeed been preternatural occurrences in the dwelling of the city to which I have now moved. However, I do not wish to prolong this first post any further, as it is already too lengthy. I only wish to hear your opinions, setting aside the recent events —which are owed to another person's desire for invocation, someone who is not even a 'counter-initiate'…—. Yet they preceded me in the residence.
I apologise if I have been unable to confine the text to a reasonable length. I consider that everything I have included was necessary.
I totally agree with looking for synchronicities (coincidences, stuff that just happens, or whatever you wanna call it)... but I think things like this are only noticeable if you're primed and actively searching for stuff. I can't tell you whether it's apophenia or looking for patterns (or maybe even some greater power mother-humping about with you)... But in my experience (and I'll be honest, I'm still a newbie Chaote, I'm usually making this stuff up as I go along!) there isn't much to be gained by questioning if it's real or asking what it means. It seems like you're already reframing this into something more useful. (Like what this does to your practice and sense of self, that sorta thing.)