[Help] Spiritual awakening or psychosis?

[Glaux]

Hi all, I posted some months ago after what I think was a Hermetic initiation without my knowledge. Since then I believe I’ve developed along this path. I’ve tested spells empirically with others and they report that the things I did have worked as intended for them and they appear to have worked for me. Recently, I began (slowly) reading the Corpus Hermeticum. Not long after, my mental state began to change. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it seems to be a sort of detachment from the material world. I feel more at one with the all and I’m quite care free. However, my executive functioning is in the gutter.

I’m terrified that this has all been psychosis, that I’m actually mad. I’ve glimpsed Hermetic truth, just a sliver. I know it’s all true somehow, at least that’s what I feel in my deepest gut of guts. I employ Ancient Greek in my spells along with scrollwork and so far I’ve invoked my main patron, Apollo, Asclepius as well as Tyche and Persephone. I’ve recently made a black book which I’ve started journaling my thoughts on all of this.

Once again, the point of this post is to try and parse out psychosis from “reality”, if that’s even possible. If anyone has struggled with this, don’t hesitate to leave a post. Thanks guys.

 

[Wild and free]

Hi there,

I find it interesting that you say you had an initiation without your knowledge or consent?
It is in my understanding that there needs to be definite intention .....what was your intentions when doing things? And if things are working...then that sounds great!
But remember to give a little...to get a little! Things must stay balanced and you should definitely be grounding if you are not already.

I have also noticed what I call, spiritual hearing, and as i decalcify my pineal gland, there is a seership type feeling/ vision, that i can see now.
I dont think this is any psychosis, this is Spirit.
Also, what are you calling in?
I have been calling in the Gifts of Aradia through Diana, through Hekate, who is my matron. Lately as of the soltice, i called the witch father, green man, Lugh, and lately i have been thinking of Hermes and Pan alot . But Hekate called me in a dream, then in numerology, many other things as well.
Mental things definitely happen, I have been in this path for 2.5 years so far, no longer a smoker/ vapor, healing myself while learning so much. However, alcohol seems to pull the spirit out and I live on ley lines, so now i cant drink alcohol unless it is medicinal. I black out quickly and i am only left with a feeling. Now i see alcohol as a substance that pulls the spirit from things....just like i use it to pull the spirit from the plants i tincture......it seems to pull my spirit as well!
Something i find to be quite interesting while also a bit scary. I see this as something, a gift in development that is not vibing with my path. But you will start to see the world very different.

You are not in psychosis, sounds like you call and are getting answers!