The Edge

[FireBorn]

This isn’t theory or LARP. I’m talking about that moment in your practice where something shifted, hard.

Maybe you called something, and it answered. Maybe you looked too far into yourself and saw what you weren’t ready to face. Maybe you stood in the presence of something real and felt something break loose inside you.

Have you ever had a brush with that edge?

• How close did you get?
• How long did you stay there?
• What pulled you back, or did you come back changed?

We talk about madness, but often it’s just power that hasn’t integrated yet. Or trauma that magick amplifies until it screams.

What was your “too far” moment, and what did it teach you? I think more of us have been to that edge than we admit.

Obviously answering this takes courage and vulnerability.

Any takers?

 

[Anziel_Merkaba]

I once consecrated a bismuth crystal in such a way that it was The All, which really fucked me up because at that point in my practice I wasn't ready to be able to see everything and touch everything through it. I ended up putting it in a box, grounding myself for a few days, then busting the thing back out a month or two later when I had rationalized everything.

The wild thing is that I naturally ground out hard due to the specifics of my birth, so for something to completely unground me and freak me out that badly was a big deal. I used to be really big into philosophy before I got into magic, so when I had a stone that would let me be able to bypass a person's defenses completely without effort and do whatever I wanted to them, I realized that I could do anything to anyone with it without consequences and it freaked me out. It was like finding a briefcase in an alley somewhere and opening it only to find it has the president's launch codes in it or something.

 

[Asteriskos]

When I was pretty new to magic/k I had done some folk magic sorcery to help out with what I saw as a glitch in the fabric of my life. It actually didn't take very long to seemingly work, though a little differently than I might have thought it should. So, looking at the result was a major eye opener for me because what happened really made sense if you saw it as a "Synchronicity"! That was a major "Ah Ha" moment for me, to this day Synchronicities have followed me around everywhere I go! That "crystalized" the concept for me right there and encouraged me to keep going!

Post automatically merged: Today at 2:23 AM

What was your “too far” moment, and what did it teach you? I think more of us have been to that edge than we admit.

After seeing magic actually work like I said, I began to think of all kinds of uses, some good, some bad, but the one thing that really bothered me was the "what if" that moment the next time what if it doesn't work? That's not a 'too far" moment, but was a bit of an obstacle creeping in that would only yield to the fact that it already "had worked". That was the only thought that eventually got me on track enough to try again, doubt is very insidious. Over time and more success it just works like magic/k by Synchronicity.

 

[Amadeus]

Ah yes, I wrote a short description of something in the post "Magic and madness" I can write a longer story here.

I have always been into the more hardcore processing practices, meaning like taking mantras, prayers and spamming the hell out of them, extended sessions, pounding and smashing the spiritual system to get something going. Pushing the limits and trying to break the records.

During the first 8 or so years the following happened.

So I read a lot of pages of psalms per day, this was mixed together with the Quran and also some Hindu mantras. On the top of that I did saint work and at some point went to the church for communion. The energy stacked so massively that I felt like having nuclear energy stacked inside me. Imagine the cocktail with a cherry on top, Book of Mormon yet another different feeling energy. Yes I mixed the BOM in there as well. Cycled everything, cover to cover readings and everything else.

What happened was mega sensitivity which unlocked quite fast. Already within months I was very open and the first year added another 300%+ to the openness. As openness I am talking about "mega" increased awareness of feeling energies everywhere at all times. Feeling the mantras and prayers instantly going through you and sensing states of ecstasy from just some prayer readings.

I remember going to a cemetery in this state and feeling the necromantic energy pour through the third eye right into me, feeling so high in head.
At first very high, then a taste of soil for days, imagine feeling like you have eaten literally mud or something. Then the sorrows and sadness, emotions of the people, feeling it suck away all your energy and replacing it with the necromantic essence. Feeling so dead and disgusted for days. Yes at first the energy high itself was wonderful but it lasted only a day and then something started going wrong.

The possessions which came from the spirits entering me and having to be exorcised out is the point of this story. Several cemetery cases and a couple of others from grimoires.
All because....
I realized that you should not really mix together too many different practices, if you work mainly with the Christian stuff then stick to it, if you are into Sufism then stick to it - only 90%+10% is acceptable, else you screw up everything, feel as if one type of energy is being erased by another, and yet another (Hindu), erasing one program with another. All this leads to holes in the system, empty gaps through what anything can come in, all the energies.

What did I learn? I did figure out the methods that can be used to do self exorcisms, then I figured out how one can attain massive energy sensitivity. Taught people the practices and watched them level up.

You will come back changed, when you get such possession experiences you will always remember them. There's no way to forget something like that. It makes you respect and understand that there's a lot more than meets the eye and you have to be careful with the practices.