Hi everyone. I am new here and new to occultism and I would like to discuss a personal case involving occult practices and sexuality.
I am from Brazil, and for context, Brazil has what are commonly called Afro-Brazilian religions. These are spiritual traditions that developed from African religions brought by enslaved Africans, mixed over time with Indigenous practices and some catholic influence. In Brazil, these religions are heavily stigmatized and often labeled as devil worship by christians, even though most traditions focus on balance, healing, and protection. That said, there are variations, such as Quimbanda, that openly work with morally neutral or harmful intentions, including magic aimed at causing damage or seeking revenge, which contributes to their controversial reputation.
Now, to the situation I want to discuss.
I have a cousin whom I used to be close to. Throughout his youth and early adulthood, he was a womenizer, a ladies man, with no attraction to men. He was also extremely ambitious and greedy, and decided to join a spiritual group to help him gain power and money. He joined an Afro-Brazilian religious group, which I believe was Quimbanda, although I'm not completely sure.
There, he quickly rose to a position called Cavalo (literally "horse), meaning a person who incorporates spiritual entities during rituals, and became somewhat important in the group. Eventually, he began feeling uncomfortable with the practices and decided to leave.
The leaders told him he was not allowed to leave and threatened him, saying that "if you live, we will curse you and you will never lie with a woman again, you will become a woman yourself" (their words, not mine). He ignored them and left anyway.
Soon after leaving, he realized he no longer felt attraction toward women. He repeatedly tried to be with women but experienced strong repulsion and sexual dysfunction. At the same time, he began feeling attraction toward men, something he had never experienced before.
This caused severe psychological distress, he became deeply self-hating, attempted to take his own life, but years later ended up marrying a man. They have been together for over 20 years. Even so, he has said that his greatest wish is to feel attraction toward women again.
I’m sharing this story becaus I never heard anything similar before and after, and since I'm new to this subject, I’m interested in hearing from others who may have encountered unusual or comparable experiences involving intense spiritual environments and long-lasting personal and/or sexual changes, or who have thoughts on how belief, fear, and ritual can deeply affect someone’s life trajectory.
I am from Brazil, and for context, Brazil has what are commonly called Afro-Brazilian religions. These are spiritual traditions that developed from African religions brought by enslaved Africans, mixed over time with Indigenous practices and some catholic influence. In Brazil, these religions are heavily stigmatized and often labeled as devil worship by christians, even though most traditions focus on balance, healing, and protection. That said, there are variations, such as Quimbanda, that openly work with morally neutral or harmful intentions, including magic aimed at causing damage or seeking revenge, which contributes to their controversial reputation.
Now, to the situation I want to discuss.
I have a cousin whom I used to be close to. Throughout his youth and early adulthood, he was a womenizer, a ladies man, with no attraction to men. He was also extremely ambitious and greedy, and decided to join a spiritual group to help him gain power and money. He joined an Afro-Brazilian religious group, which I believe was Quimbanda, although I'm not completely sure.
There, he quickly rose to a position called Cavalo (literally "horse), meaning a person who incorporates spiritual entities during rituals, and became somewhat important in the group. Eventually, he began feeling uncomfortable with the practices and decided to leave.
The leaders told him he was not allowed to leave and threatened him, saying that "if you live, we will curse you and you will never lie with a woman again, you will become a woman yourself" (their words, not mine). He ignored them and left anyway.
Soon after leaving, he realized he no longer felt attraction toward women. He repeatedly tried to be with women but experienced strong repulsion and sexual dysfunction. At the same time, he began feeling attraction toward men, something he had never experienced before.
This caused severe psychological distress, he became deeply self-hating, attempted to take his own life, but years later ended up marrying a man. They have been together for over 20 years. Even so, he has said that his greatest wish is to feel attraction toward women again.
I’m sharing this story becaus I never heard anything similar before and after, and since I'm new to this subject, I’m interested in hearing from others who may have encountered unusual or comparable experiences involving intense spiritual environments and long-lasting personal and/or sexual changes, or who have thoughts on how belief, fear, and ritual can deeply affect someone’s life trajectory.