Big Love Spell No-No, Substantiated or Not?

[silencewaits]

I hear time and time again that 'love spells' are bad; they cause obsession, or they violate free will, or something else of the sorts. So I was wondering if anyone has actually experienced the negative effects of doing such a thing, or if they have heard someone else's account. Bonus cool wizard points if you include the working that caused them.

 

[Zord]

The negative aspect of love spells for you (the person who does the witchcraft) is in most cases due to the binary result. This means that in case of poor protection or other factors, you also experience the effect of the love spell. Love spells are initially intended for sexual intercourse and are closely related to the suppression the will of the "rabbit".
"Rabbit" is a witch/witches' slang for a test subject.

 

[Asteriskos]

First decide WTF you want, LOVE or LUST! They're not mutually exclusive, but they're Not the Same either. Usually trying to force someone who doesn't reciprocate or doesn't even know Who you are will FAIL. I'm Happily Married, I chased Her till She caught Me. We both were into various forms of Magic/k prior to meeting. People do try to exert strong willed / strong armed tactics upon each other but, it's much better to Work upon yourself, as So Many folks have tried to say Over and Over on these forums. Look Good, Smell Good, Dress Well, and then hit whatever "Scene" you think you can fit into! To cut to the chase it's Much easier to cast a LUST spell, there's always someone wanting to get laid, but will she/he want to marry you in morning, that usually takes a bit more Work!

 

[silencewaits]

People do try to exert strong willed / strong armed tactics upon each other but, it's much better to Work upon yourself, as So Many folks have tried to say Over and Over on these forums.

After starting this thread I realized a lot of people discuss or request these things. I intended, with the section I put it in, to discuss more so what actually happens when the 'wrong' kind of love spells were successful. And as a fun bit of information sharing if someone wanted to make that happen for their own reasons--baneful or otherwise.

As for my own opinion, I think people get attached to an idea of someone and become woefully limerent. The need to possess the person comes not out of true desire for the person as they actually are, but a need to ease the emotional suffering the admirer feels at not realizing their obsession. Other times, the person needs to work on themselves. The kind of people they desire may not desire them in their current state--or they need to find another kind of person to attract or be attracted to.

I used to be that way, and now I have too many options that--if I had been born as someone without my peculiar occupation or interests--might have led to something resembling my old desires for a relationship.

 

[Asteriskos]

After starting this thread I realized a lot of people discuss or request these things.

Yeah, but that's because people Want Love (and Lust) in their lives, it's Natural as smelling the Roses! My Wife and I are into Magic/k together as a couple,and we are Blessed to have each other, as well as Friends into it as well! The point that I've seen folks try to stress here is that any Man or Woman will be better served by First being a Man or a Woman! Magick can definitely be used to alter the flow and create Real Synchronicities,
including helping with Love and Lust. I sure wouldn't want someone that had to be "enchanted" to put up with me! Men and Women have a "knack" for getting it on Naturally! A Little Wine, Incense, Food, SEX... Life is Good!

And I apologize if my tone was a little direct. We shouldn't lose sight of ourselves as Men and Women, as well as Magical Practioners, because like Love and Lust, they're Not mutually exclusive! Hope that makes some kind of sense.

 

[Yazata]

The big difference between love magic and all other forms (in my opinion..) is that with other Magick I set a goal and understand that any (small) success is to be seen as a steppingstone towards achieving what I want.
With love magic, if I do a "general spell" and a girl comes into my life who I don't particularly had in mind I can not treat this person as a steppingstone / an object that is only there to get me to where I want to be. By the way, if I do perform general love magic these days the result is pretty much always that I run into my ex who hates me.

This topic (of course) keeps coming up. I posted the Ereshkigal spell for anyone to try. I gave an experience with it here:

Love Spell

I'd like to know your experiences with love spells...

wizardforums.com

 

[Taudefindi]

By the way, if I do perform general love magic these days the result is pretty much always that I run into my ex who hates me.

---

 

[FireBorn]

The big difference between love magic and all other forms (in my opinion..) is that with other Magick I set a goal and understand that any (small) success is to be seen as a steppingstone towards achieving what I want.
With love magic, if I do a "general spell" and a girl comes into my life who I don't particularly had in mind I can not treat this person as a steppingstone / an object that is only there to get me to where I want to be. By the way, if I do perform general love magic these days the result is pretty much always that I run into my ex who hates me.

This topic (of course) keeps coming up. I posted the Ereshkigal spell for anyone to try. I gave an experience with it here:

Love Spell

I'd like to know your experiences with love spells...

wizardforums.com

What stands out to me about your post, Yazata, is that you're not just sharing theory, you're offering lived gnosis, and that hits harder than a thousand recycled book quotes. Especially for someone like me, who lives in the dirt and blood of practical magick, this is gold.

I’ve heard the “moral high ground” arguments about love spells for years, but curiously, no one seems to clutch their pearls when someone casts a spell to land a job, win a court case, or get money. It’s always love spells that get people all twisted up. Makes me go hmmm.

Personally? I’m still feeling it out. I’m relatively new to the spellcasting side of the craft, most of my path until now has been direct communion, trance, and relational gnosis with spirits. But even so, I think I'd rather ask a demon to teach me how to become the kind of man who attracts the woman I want, someone who aligns with my fire. That feels sustainable. Repeatable. Real.

Still… the idea of results is seductive. And if a love spell works, isn’t that also a kind of mirror? What’s it showing me about myself? What current am I really working with? The current I’m initiated into through Lilith has shown me this: own your sexuality, don’t perform it. Be honest. Be raw. Enjoy, without manipulation. That’s the line for me. Not a morality line, but a sovereignty line. If I'm shaping reality, it better be shaped in truth, not illusion.

All that to say, I really appreciate this post. And your experience. It opens up deeper thought than the usual back-and-forth on love spells. Makes me look in the mirror a little longer.

 

[virginia24]

I’ve heard the “moral high ground” arguments about love spells for years, but curiously, no one seems to clutch their pearls when someone casts a spell to land a job, win a court case, or get money. It’s always love spells that get people all twisted up. Makes me go hmmm.

Personally? I’m still feeling it out. I’m relatively new to the spellcasting side of the craft, most of my path until now has been direct communion, trance, and relational gnosis with spirits. But even so, I think I'd rather ask a demon to teach me how to become the kind of man who attracts the woman I want, someone who aligns with my fire. That feels sustainable. Repeatable. Real.

Still… the idea of results is seductive. And if a love spell works, isn’t that also a kind of mirror? What’s it showing me about myself? What current am I really working with? The current I’m initiated into through Lilith has shown me this: own your sexuality, don’t perform it. Be honest. Be raw. Enjoy, without manipulation. That’s the line for me. Not a morality line, but a sovereignty line. If I'm shaping reality, it better be shaped in truth, not illusion.

All that to say, I really appreciate this post. And your experience. It opens up deeper thought than the usual back-and-forth on love spells. Makes me look in the mirror a little longer.

I love what you said about owning your sexuality without being manipulative or performative-especially along a line of sovereignty, not morality.
In the last months I have retreated from actively dating and the last couple years, halted the remnants of a chaotic casual sex life I had from my youth. This was not a decision made along moral lines, but just to 100% focus on myself and my path.
I haven’t attempted any love magic since I was a teenager, but boy did I had issues with what I did then-and it took me a long time to realize the problems. I think the most important thing, as you mentioned above, is to ask questions about what you really want.
Love and sex can be powerful, beautiful tools that lead you to insights on your path, but sometimes I find things thought of as “love magic” that really have nothing to do with love… more filling a void in a person in some way that may not always be healthy.
I didn’t come across any magical writings beyond religious texts until I was an adult, but did attempt to bind my life path with a boy I thought I was in love with when I was 15. After separating romantically when I was 16, we ended up moving to the same town accidentally as adults, attending the same university, moved home at the same time accidentally, and now STILL often work together at separate companies that consult on the same land projects. We had intense sex privately for years as adults, but it was never going to work, and I knew that at the age of 16. Now I’m in my 30s and we both still have an uncomfortable attraction, but would both like to avoid each other. There are other occult details (things he may have been a part of and I also dreamed of him before I met him) but all this to say, be careful what you ask for! Love for the self needs to come first, because no one can love you for yourself if you haven’t even accepted yourself.
I also find any magic to get results can certainly backfire if you aren’t grounded, but that’s not to say it should never be done! Certainly not opposed to people looking out for themselves in times of need, or a little glamour out at night! Just something to think about before doing it-and the concept of the mirror is sooo important here!

 

[Keldan]

Love spells aren’t bad. They’ve gained a negative reputation because many spellcasters who offered spell making services created them with the wrong intent.

Love spells aimed at a general audience, meaning they’re open to someone out there rather than a specific individual are fine. But the moment a love spell targets a particular person, things become much more complex. You can end up forcing someone’s path in ways you don’t fully understand, and that can create backlash for both the caster (especially if they’re inexperienced with spells) and the person who requested the work. And if the caster is skilled, they will ensure that any backlash falls on you, since the spell is being done on your behalf.

I’ve used love spells on myself. So that targets a very specific person: me. They’re essentially meant to coerce me to love myself more. In a way, that still conflicts with free will because it’s coercive. So I can receive backlash, though it is avoided. In my case, it worked out well, I learned to love myself and my life more. But I wouldn’t recommend it unless you really understand all the inner workings of love spells and what they can set in motion.

 

[Jadugar]

I like Asteriskos' warning that one must be sure what their intent is, and I think that's the cause of a lot of apparent failures of love spells. I reflect a lot on what Plotinus says: magic may affect the passions, but never the reason.

One can cast love spells and infuse infatuation, but if on an intellectual level they know they don't want to pursue this, then they're not. If the lovers are incompatible, perhaps at best you can hope the target will declare they're dating in a heat of passion, and then have to live with the reality of what that means. Sometimes it goes over great! A love spell I casted for a client resulted in a marriage, woohoo, they already had good potential for chemistry. But sometimes not.

I have a friend who repeatedly casted love spells on this one guy, and I must admit, they love each other. But love itself isn't a permanent bond. She keeps manifesting these cute moments where they bare their heart to each other and declare their undying passions, but it never solidified into a relationship again. The energy of the spell runs out, and the guy tells himself despite his love he--on an intellectual level--reasons he doesn't want or can't have a relationship, so they drift apart again.

I think it's part of this cultural meme of love spells turning to obsession spells, because if the target can't articulate any reason to want to stay together, the only thing you can hope for is inflaming their passions enough to override their sense.

This isn't to say love spells are doomed, I really believe magic can change any situation, it just comes down to what tools you use. There is a massive diversity of 'love' spells out there; 'love' in quotations because so many things can fall under it. One can provoke love via an erotic binding spell (to use Sledge's terminology), one can create a love spell by withering a cheating partner's desires for other people, and so on.

I co-sign the idea that love spells can be beneficial for preexisting couples. By naturally becoming couples in the first place, it's proof of an existing chemistry, so there are plenty of avenues of permanent manifestation by helping them understand what caused them to get together in the first place.

 

[Emperor Time]

I know a lot about love spells. Sometimes I think I know too much about them. Probably because of all the research I done on them since I started my journey. There not inherently bad but some feel downright evil in what they can accomplish. I have OCD, with one of my obsessions being the collecting of every kind of love spell I can find. So have a lot of physical and e books that talk about them. Love spells have so much power behind them but can also be extremely dangerous if your not careful. So I wouldn't do one unless you know exactly what you want beforehand.