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Breaking the walls of impatience

Heliona

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Greetings all!
I wasn't here for some time, mostly because of every day stuff and practice I was doing all the time. So I want to basically share a bit of experience, I got for this short time and a so called first step of the breakthrough.
I must say, that I absolutely enjoy the way rituals are affecting me. And what I am doing are only rituals of Middle Pillar and LBRP.
Anyway, some two weeks ago roughly, I had something that I would define as a blockage. I was unable to focus myself on anything, my thoughts would fly around. I would try LBRP and fail, Middle Pillar and fail, I would try to sit and simply try to follow the train of my thoughts, I would fail. That failure really brought the feeling of disappointment, deep disappointment and frustration. I would sit trying to think why I can't focus and naturally, I would give in into the learned habit: Kick it with the head and break it.
Logically, didn't work. So in the feeling of disappointment, I started thinking the worst though one can have: What the FUCK am I doing (apologies for the faul language). I consulted a friend of mine, telling her about the problem and I realised I have to step back. Go to the very basic. Just breathe and meditate. Normally I would preassure myself into doing rituals exactly as I did them before, because, stepping back=giving up. I fought back my learned pattern and really did just the basics. After a almost a week of "resting" I started doing LBRP and Middle Pillar and now really twice a day. In the lack of better term, I felt more open to it, to the flow of energy.
And I am absolutely grateful for recognising a very essence of some of my failures from the past being orchestrated solely by my impatience. I was aware of its existence before too, but now I use the knowledge of it to channel it into discipline and patience. Still A LOT to work, of course, like, it is even stupid to say this, but yes I managed to break the pattern of "Everything now!"
 

Heliona

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Oh yes, I apologise to the moderators if my post isn't in the right thread.
 

Incognitus

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This is good information, thanks. Jaide and I will be starting daily (hopefully!) Middle Pillar rituals soon, and I'm glad to have someone here that has experience so we can compare notes. I hope you stick around!
 

Heliona

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This is good information, thanks. Jaide and I will be starting daily (hopefully!) Middle Pillar rituals soon, and I'm glad to have someone here that has experience so we can compare notes. I hope you stick around!
I can occasionally share some of insights that were very important to me along the way as I do the rituals, and I hope they will be helpful 😊
 

SkullTraill

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Thanks for sharing, and glad to hear that you're starting to see results.

We often forget that occult and magickal work, like anything, requires patience, practice, discipline, dedication, and hard work in order to be successful. So many who dip their toes in occult waters fail to realize this and end up giving up and thinking it doesn't work and it's a waste of time.

Keep it up.
 

Heliona

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As I mentioned before, I would love to share the voyage considering the breaking of Mind through the practice of Middle Pillar and LBRP and LIRP.
So I would pace these (if I may do something like that) along with LBRH and LIRH into the first step of Alchemy - calcification. So kind of a in a breaking the impatience, it was s really just a first step into the blackening. So from the last time I wrote till now, I kind of a went further into that calcification process. So I may say my absolute dislike of Saturnian energy, and I knew that dislike came from fear. As a Capricorn and considering that I have Saturn in the same sign, I always felt that impact of Saturn in my life and exactly how it could be painful and cruel teacher. So till recently, I really disliked and loved that energy at the same time. I was afraid of it and I realised I run away from it whole my life even if I would "learn" the lesson. I saw the lesson, but never really utilised the power of it. Now I really am at the step of accepting Saturn, understanding it, actually really understanding that heavy element inside. And how that will go when we actually step in the part of year that belongs to the rule of Saturn, remains to be discovered. What I can say is, that I feel the shift from heaviness going deeper into Capricorn and Saturn to for the first time actually being positive about that period.
 

Roma

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I often see humans with a dark entity with tentacles sitting on the top of the head - controlling what energies are permitted into the brain. Such entities easily block RHP practices
 

Yazata

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dark entity with tentacles
You have mentioned this several times now.
It might be a good idea to give a guide or tutorial on how to actively remove these from yourself and keep them at a distance when you (think or know you) have one attached to you.

I'm sure many would be interested.
 

Roma

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Pick someone that you think is contaminated/corrupt and look inwardly for (see if you can imagine) a dark entity on the head or the back or front of the heart. Typically the entity has tentacles used to control the target's energy system and to live off the life force of the target.

When you have found such an entity, go into your own heart and observe the vertical white stream of Spirit that (hopefully) anchors in your heart in the form of flame. (Quite a lot of humans have a dark entity sitting on top of their heart, largely blocking the flow)

So, look at the flame and send a stream of light from the flame to the dark entity. Since, in this solar system, our god is a god of love, the stream of light is divine (not human) love. Most entities receiving divine love will become less dark and change their behavior.

If the entity is reluctant, look closely at the entity and demand that it show you its own light.

Entities that are naturally formed have both dark and light energies and will rebalance towards the light when commanded.

Occasionally there will be an artificial entity with no light or an entity more afraid of its supervisor than of you. If it will not back off, you should back off - unless you can rise on the planes above the supervisor's supervisor.

Mostly love is all you need
 

8Lou1

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This sounds all cool and learned and stuff, but beware these things are ALWAYS in the eye of the beholder and we all have luggage whereby LOVE can look distorted and in need of healing while the opposite is true.

And i am not even talking about the mess that is created with online connections and the bigger Spiel.
 
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